With Every Heartbeat (Forbidden Men, #4)(97)

I cupped both sensitive places to cover myself as I hobbled across his floor and hunted up my clothes.

It didn’t even seem possible that I was about to do the walk of shame. Yesterday at this time, I’d been a virgin and was sure I’d stay one for a very long time.

More tears flooded my cheeks. I kind of wanted him to wake up and catch me, to pull me back onto the bed and into his arms and reassure me that last night had meant as much to him as it had to me. That he’d really been talking to me when he’d spoken those words. But I feared the moment he woke too, because I knew that was the total opposite of what he’d actually do.

I couldn’t handle seeing the regret in his eyes, the guilt, the apology, the disgust and distress. I yanked on my jeans, not even bothering to search for my underwear I couldn’t immediately spot. When something stabbed into my hip through the cloth of my pocket, I nearly lost it all over again. With shaking fingers, I pulled out Quinn’s ring for Cora. It was still buttery from the shrimp scampi it had landed in.

Trying not to vomit from self-disgust, I set the ring gently on Quinn’s nightstand. I spent a moment watching the two together, him and his ring for another woman. And then I fled.

As soon as I hit the hallway, I skidded to a halt, remembering Ten lived here too and might be lingering about. If Ten caught sight of me like this, my horror would be complete. But no man stirred. No Quinn. No Ten. Just one lost, scared, guilty Zoey.

I didn’t let myself cry as I drove back to Chateau Rivera. I held it in and concentrated on driving. I didn’t want to face Cora right now, but I didn’t know where else to go. I hoped she was sleeping in as she usually did on Saturday mornings. Except crap, it wasn’t exactly morning any longer, was it? But it was late enough that she would’ve left for her dialysis appointment already.

And oh man, the thought of her dialysis only made bile rise in my throat. I really was the worst person on earth. I had not only betrayed my best friend, but I’d done it when she was at her weakest and most vulnerable, sick and frail.

It did relieve me to know I could slip inside my room to be alone without her around, though. Except when I made it to the apartment and opened the door, I let out a shocked yelp when I saw someone standing in the front foyer.

“Oh my God,” I gasped, setting my hand over my rapidly thumping heart as I focused on Cora’s face.

She looked awful. Bags under her eyes, hair a ratty mess, clothes rumbled and hanging loosely from her thin frame.

“What’re you still doing here?” I panted, out of breath from receiving the shock of my life.

She shoved the back of her hand across her nose and sniffed. “I’m waiting on you, idiot. What do you think I’m still doing here? I’ve tried calling your phone all morning.”

I hugged myself, unable to look her in the eyes. “I turned it off.”

“So I guessed. Look, I know you’re still pissed at me because I didn’t tell you about the other guys,” she said. She was so nonchalant about saying the other guys, I winced, freshly hurt on Quinn’s behalf. Just how many other guys had there been? “But are you really so upset you’re just going to leave me hanging on the whole kidney transplant?”

I blinked, clueless. “What?”

“We’re supposed to go in together this morning. You have more tests while I’m getting my treatment.”

“Oh.” Oh, crap. I’d forgotten all about that. I’d been too busy getting freaky with her ex all night long to think about doctor’s appointments. The color drained from my face and guilt layered itself on top of the guilt I was already feeling. “I guess I don’t have time for a shower, huh?”

I gulped, unable to think about anything but all the things I’d be washing off if I did have time.

“Fuck, no. You don’t have time.” She grabbed my arm, startling me. Quinn had touched me there last night. But then, he’d touched me everywhere. “Let’s go.”

I pulled away. “I really need to change.” And my contacts were killing my eyes. Plus I couldn’t handle feeling her hand on me.

She gave me five minutes, and then she bustled me out the door.

Still in a shocked daze over everything that had happened, I couldn’t wrangle my thoughts into any order. My mind was all over the place. It felt so strange to stand mildly by Cora’s side in the elevator when only hours ago I’d had her boyfriend’s cock in my mouth. Ex-boyfriend, I reminded myself. Ex-boyfriend’s cock. Quinn’s gorgeous, long cock that had—

I gasped out a sound, garnering a strange look from Cora. But I darted my attention away.

As soon as we reached the ground floor, I shot out of the slowly opening doors and dashed for the exit, barely thanking Terrance when he let me out of the building. I didn’t know how to do this, how to pretend I hadn’t spent the entire night in Quinn’s bed.

And then, as if thinking about him had conjured him, there he was, across the parking garage, standing by his truck. I jerked to a stop, not sure what to do. The wind whipped through his hair and flattened his T-shirt against his front, showing off every rippling muscle he had and reminding me what they’d felt like under my fingers.

Suddenly, I could feel him again inside me, could taste his kiss on my tongue, smell his perfect scent. My body reacted; I wanted him so bad, wanted him pressing me into his mattress and covering me with his hard warmth.