With Every Heartbeat (Forbidden Men, #4)(106)

Her head bobbed again. “Okay,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” I said back to her and leaned in to kiss her temple, inhaling that last little bit of her shampoo scent that I could breathe in. “Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone the most. And I’m sorry for...” I shook my head, not sure what I was sorry for. But I felt like hell for the way all this was affecting her. “I’m sorry for...”

She spun away and ran off.

I cursed under my breath and then leaned toward the nearest bookshelf and tapped my head against it a few times, hoping to knock some sense back into myself. I hoped to God I’d just made the right decision by letting her go, but I felt so bad, I couldn’t see how it had been the right thing to do at all.





In the space of a just a few days, my life went from the lowest point ever, to the highest, and right back to the lowest...and then it just kept rolling on as if nothing had ever happened. I had to skip more classes on Tuesday to get more tests done on my kidneys. When Wednesday came, I approached art class with dread.

I know I’d told Quinn it would be better if we put some space between us, but I missed him, and I regretted every word I’d said to keep him away. He’d insisted we were still friends, but I knew we weren’t. We’d never be as close as we’d been before Friday night.

It was for the best, though...wasn’t it?

I honestly didn’t know. I was still too much of a mess to think logically. When I entered class, Ten, Caroline and Quinn had already arrived, and only one space sat open between Caroline and Quinn, making me wonder if they’d booted me out of the group. I certainly wouldn’t blame them.

I slowed to a stop, not sure if I should approach, but then Caroline caught sight of me and waved me up with a relieved smile. Quinn glanced up, and his blue eyes immediately heated with all kinds of emotions I couldn’t read.

I wasn’t sure if he wanted me there, but I went to Caroline anyway.

“Reese is still home with a sick Mason, so it’s just the four of us today.”

“You ever had chicken pox before, Blondie?” Ten asked as Quinn shifted his knee aside enough to let me know he was making room for me to squeeze in between him and Caroline.

I glanced at him and met his intent blue-eyed gaze. He smiled as if happy to see me, but his eyes still seemed sad and regretful. Gulping, I forced my attention to his roommate. “Chicken pox?” I repeated distractedly, wondering why he was asking about that. “No. Why?”

“Neither has Ham,” he said pointing out Quinn. “That’s insane. I thought everyone got chicken pox before they reached middle school.”

“Oh, well...I didn’t go to middle school.”

“Neither did I,” Quinn added.

We glanced at each other again, and so much passed between us in that one stare: longing, guilt, excitement, dread, joy, suffering.

“Well, Lowe did, so why the hell hadn’t he ever contracted it before? Working all these extra hours for him sucks ass, because I wanted to take Ham out and get him some *.”

Quinn wrenched in his seat. “You what?”

Ten shook his head sadly and made a tsking sound. “Damn, is lack of sex making you lose your hearing, too?”

Mouth opening slightly as if he wanted to talk, Quinn darted a quick glance to me before he closed his lips and refused to respond.

“I said...” Ten leaned across Caroline’s desk to talk more loudly toward his roommate. “First night we’re both off...we’re going out...and you’re getting laid.”

“He can’t,” Caroline spoke up suddenly. “Quinn’s helping me with my...homework that night.”

Zipping his attention to her, Ten scowled. “Since when do you and Ham do homework together?”

Caroline narrowed her eyes and scowled right back. “Since...since...” It was so obvious she was lying, Ten rolled his eyes. But she growled and finished with, “Since now.”

“Pft.” Ten waved her off. “Homework can wait. His poor, neglected dick cannot.”

Quinn cleared his throat and shifted lower in his seat. He ducked his face, clearly not a willing participant in the conversation. “I really don’t want to go out any time soon.”

“That’s because some cheating whore”—pausing to hold up a hand in my direction, he added, “tons of offense to your friend,” and then he returned his gaze to Quinn—“ripped your self-confidence off by the balls. But don’t you worry, buddy ol’ pal. We’re going to get them back. I don’t care if we have to strap on a fuzzy, leopard-printed pair. I can’t handle watching you go around without your nuts. Ergo, we’re going to find you the easiest, nastiest, hottest whore, and you’re going to get right back on that horse and f*ck the shit out of her.”

“Like, oh my God,” Caroline squealed in the perfect Valley-girl imitation. “An easy, nasty whore? Can you find me one too?”

Ten leered her way. “Only if I watch while you make out with her.”

Caroline fluttered her lashes before lowering her voice. “Oh, you wouldn’t be invited.”

He scowled. “That’s not even right.”

Sharing a triumphant smile with me, Caroline beamed as if she’d accomplished her main goal of the day: getting under Ten’s skin.