Winterberry Spark: A Silver Foxes of Westminster Novella (The Silver Foxes of Westminster #2.5)(18)

“I—” Nothing followed the first syllable. Gil blinked at Ruby, knocked off his feet. He hadn’t seen anything close to the determination or the hurt in her eyes in the entire time that he’d known her. It added a whole new layer of unsettling emotions to the mess he already struggled to deal with.

“I love James,” Ruby went on, reaching for James’s hand. He went to her, resting his head against her side. “I would never, ever do anything that would put him in harm’s way. I left him at the school because it would have caused a scene if I’d stayed.”

“But—”

“I didn’t know where I was going to go, but Clara brought me in out of the cold and fed me. She’s been more of a friend to me in the last half hour than you’ve been for months.”

Gil snapped his mouth shut, guilt washing away every other emotion, leaving him feeling as small as a toad. And just like a toad, he couldn’t speak, only croak wordlessly.

“You don’t know what it’s like to have people hate you,” Ruby went on. “To hate you for nothing that you did, just because. You don’t know what it’s like to stand there and endure their taunts and insults. I left the school because I didn’t want James to see that kind of cruelty. And I shouldn’t have to stand there and accept it because you think that’s the responsible thing to do.”

She blinked suddenly and straightened, as though a revelation had just come to her. “I don’t have to accept it from you, of all people,” she went on. “You know what I’ve been through. You saw how it was for me. I don’t have to stay here and endure your disappointment when you, more than anyone, should know just how much I owe to the Croydons and why I would never willingly let anyone bring any harm to them.”

She sucked in a breath at the end of her speech, visibly shaking with indignation. Gil’s anger gave out completely, leaving nothing inside of him but guilt and the burning sense that he’d let Ruby down in far more ways than she’d disappointed him.

But before he could form his thoughts into the apology she deserved, Ruby crossed the room to pluck Faith from the pen where she was playing with Clara and Arthur’s children. She slipped her into the sling that still hung around her neck, then marched for the row of pegs near the door, where her coat and winter things hung.

“Come along, Master James.” She held out her hand to the boy as soon as her coat was over her shoulders. “It’s time we took you home to your mama and papa.”

James scampered silently across the room, eyes wide, and took Ruby’s hand. He glanced to Gil as though Gil were in trouble.

“Thank you so much for your hospitality, Clara,” Ruby said, her back straight and her chin tilted up. “I’ll come visit again as soon as possible.”

“Please do,” Clara said.

Ruby sent Gil one more scathing look, then marched out the door.

Gil let out a breath, “Ruby, wait!”

He turned to chase after her, but before he reached the door, Clara grabbed his wrist. She had a surprisingly strong grip and managed to hold him to the spot.

“Not so fast there,” she said, frowning. She shut the door behind Ruby, then turned and crossed her arms, blocking Gil from leaving. “You and I need to talk.”

“Can it wait?” Gil sighed, anxious to go to Ruby and set things right.

“No, it can’t.”

Any other day, Gil would have been polite and considerate to the vicar’s wife, but his patience was at its end. He crossed his arms, mirroring her tough stance. “What do you want from me?”

Clara wasn’t cowed. The woman was a good three inches taller than him and had given birth to four babies in the last two years, so in a way, Gil wasn’t surprised. “I want you to stop being so selfish and start being more considerate of Ruby’s feelings.”

“I’ve always been considerate of Ruby’s feelings,” he argued, knowing it wasn’t entirely true.

“Have you?” Clara leaned back, surveying him from head to toe, and sniffing with disapproval. “You have a strange way of showing it.”

Gil let out a breath and let his arms drop as impatience prickled down his back. “It’s been a very difficult time for us all.”

“Has it? Have you had to sell your body to keep your child alive? Have you been so desperate for friendship that you would trust the first person to offer it to you, only to have them break your heart and nearly destroy the only people who have ever helped you?”

Gil clenched his jaw, looking away. They both knew the answer.

Clara took a step closer to him. “Have you ever had the person you trusted the most turn their back on you?”

“I haven’t turned my back on Ruby,” he argued, glancing back to Clara, but withering under the intensity of her scowl. “But I have experienced hardship too.”

“Really?” Clara arched a doubting brow. “Do tell.”

It occurred to Gil that he didn’t know Clara Fallon well enough to know whether he was insulting her with his claim, but he charged ahead anyhow. “I was born to an Irish mother and an English father in Belfast. That was hard enough before my father brought Mam to England and left her. I’ve had to work for everything I’ve had, from food to shelter to my education. While providing for Mam until she passed, God rest her soul. I scrambled tooth and nail for a position in whatever schools would take me, and for admittance to a university. And you know what all my hard work and struggle earned me? A position as a valet. I must be the only valet in England with a university degree.”