Winning a Lady's Heart (Danby #1)(14)

“Surely you have something to say to me?”

Alexandra laughed and faltered. He gripped her arm gently, righting her.

She shrugged his touch off, trying not to feel the longing for his heated skin on her flesh.

“Oh, I have a million things to say to you, my lord.”

A small smile tilted his lips. “I’m sure you’ve counted more.”

Damn him for knowing all the intimate things about her. Alexandra looked left and then right, confirming they were in fact alone.

“Does it amuse you to continue to make light of all that I shared with you? Perhaps there is a current wager you’ve placed as to how many days it would take for me to forgive you for being an utter cad? Well, here is the answer I’d jot in that book at White’s. Never.”

“Never is not a number.”

“You know what I mean.” Her voice had risen to a near shout.

He seemed far too amused for Alexandra. She jabbed a finger at his chest. “Must you come here at Christmastime after humiliating me to thoroughly ruin my holiday season? What joy do you find in my misery? And furthermore, how dare you arrive and appear so bloody well rested. Why, you look as though you arrived a whole evening—”

His eyes flashed the confirmation to her statement.

“You arrived before I did?” She thought of Danby’s lack of questions for Nathan. He hadn’t needed to ask any questions because he already had.

And here was Alexandra, caught off-guard and looking thoroughly rumpled. Danby’s betrayal was now complete.

“Your grandfather summoned me,” Nathan said quietly.

“Why did you come?” she asked on an angry whisper.

“Because I needed to see you, needed your forgiveness. And as much as I’ve told myself I don’t deserve you, I need to explain.”

Alexandra took a step away from him. “Explain what, my lord? What could you possibly say? And you were correct, you were never deserving of me.”

A stark flash of pain twisted his features and she hated herself for inflicting that hurt on him. It had been his greatest worry, something he’d frequently spoken to her about, turning out to be the same ruthless man his father had been. He’d told her so many times he didn’t deserve her, she’d ceased keeping count—which was, of course, a great effort for Alexandra.

“You are right,” he said, at last breaking the silence. “But I still need you to know the whole story.”

She swallowed past a ball of emotion. “Well, what is the story?”

Nathan looked around the hall and dragged a hand through tousled, dark hair.

“Not here.”

“Oh, where then?”

“Walk with me?”

Indecision flared and she silently waged a war with her inner desires; the desire to know the truth, the desire to be with him, and her pride.

“I-I only just arrived.”

“Come with me, Alex. Join me. Listen to what I have to say and if at the end, you feel the same way you do now, then I will get in my carriage and make the long journey back to London.”

Her eyes studied his face, seeming to search for the sincerity of his promise.

“Do you promise? Or is this another lie?”

He flinched. “Just a walk. Meet me by the stables.”





With each step she took, the pads of her slippers tapped a soft, rhythmic echo against the floor and in her mind. Mad-mad, mad-mad. “You are mad, Alexandra,” she muttered under her breath.

First, it was madness to consider a walk in the frigid winter air with a sky threatening snow. Second, it was madness to consider a walk in the frigid winter air with a sky threatening snow beside the man who’d broken her heart. In spite of the hundreds of other rational excuses she could muster, Alexandra continued her course through Danby Castle. The silence surrounded her, eerily crypt-like.

After an hour of telling herself she would not meet Nathan in the stables—that he could sit there all night and rot—after bathing, paying far too particular attention to the gown she selected, and brushing her hair back into a simple, silken plait, she could now acknowledge the truth—she must see him.

She told herself she had merely agreed to see him because she wanted him gone from the grounds. Told herself she wanted to rail at him for the pain and humiliation he’d wrought on her life.

But she hadn’t convinced herself. For against all better reason she simply wanted to see him.

Alexandra pushed open the kitchen doors, one of the more discreet exits leading to the stables, and met the two dozen pairs of eyes of startled servants hard at work in the kitchen.

Apparently not so discreet.

With a flush staining her cheeks, she cleared her throat. “Good afternoon, uh, just continue with what you were doing,” she urged.

All two dozen pairs of eyes quickly fell away, returning to their work, but the curiosity had been there.

Wonderful. How much time before Mother learned of her escapade? On the heels of that thought was the defiant part of her. What did it matter? Her reputation was already in tatters.

In fact, there was something oddly freeing in having a reputation that didn’t need caring for. Alexandra threw her shoulders back and marched proudly through the kitchen.

She stepped outside and the day’s cold embrace enfolded her. She shivered, tugging her sapphire velvet cloak closer, and marched towards the stables, her brisk movements setting the fabric fluttering.