Wicked Force (Wicked Horse Vegas #4.5)(21)

It’s crude and over the top, but she needs to know that the things I feel for her make me feel dangerous. She does not want me to unleash that on her, and I can’t afford to ruin this fucking job when it happens.

“Oh,” she breathes out in a long, fluttering rush of air.

“I can’t get close to you like that,” I tell her regretfully. “I have to stay removed a bit so I can stay objective when it comes to protecting you. It’s just not good to mix business with...”

My words trail off, because I can’t quite put my finger on why this is so dangerous.

“Pleasure?” Joslyn guesses.

I shake my head as it comes to me. “No. Enthrallment. You are the type of woman that would enthrall me to the point of confusion and distraction. I can’t have that if I’m trying to protect you.”

She only stares at me, measuring my words but giving me nothing in her expression to indicate if she understands what I mean. If she listened carefully—and reads between the lines—I just told her that I’ve never in my life felt for a woman the way I feel for her.

Finally, she nods and jerks her head toward the sliding door. I take the reprieve and leave the balcony. I give one last check of the main door, ensure it’s locked and bolted, and then head into the adjoining room.

Straight to the bathroom where I strip, turn the shower on hot, and step inside to jerk myself off to the images of Joslyn in my mind.





Chapter 10



Joslyn



The band currently on stage is playing some classic country music, focusing on greats like George Strait and Willie Nelson. My dad loved country music and thus, so did I. I can even sing it halfway decently, but it’s not what’s true to my soul. That’s always going to be pop rock à la the styles of Pink and Avril Lavigne with my own twist of Joslyn Meyers’ funkiness to it.

I glance at my watch again. I’m waiting for my friend Carrie Foster to arrive. Jayce is loitering in the background, leaning up against a wooden fence that separates off an area of activities for younger kids. He watches me and the surroundings, doing his job. No clue where Kynan is. He went to the ribbon-cutting ceremony at the hospital with me this morning. Technically, Jayce was on duty but Kynan informed both of us that he’d be the one taking me to that. Jayce didn’t question it but I did.

Did that mean he wanted to be with me during something that would undoubtedly be emotional? I’d like to think that was the reason, and I can’t think of any other.

But I also don’t want to read too much into it. Kynan stopped our kiss and made it clear he couldn’t take this further.

I guess perhaps he merely went with me this morning as a friend to show support, and really... that meant the world. I shed a few tears and while he made no overt move to comfort me, I could see by the look on his face that he was sad that I was sad.

He dropped me off here at the concert venue where Jayce was waiting to take over. I assume he went back to the resort to rest up for my concert tonight.

“Jossy,” I hear from my left and when I twist my body that way, I see Carrie waving at me as she weaves her way through the crowd listening to the music. I’d chosen a picnic table that sits off to the side of the concert area, which is set up in the Whitetail Parks baseball and soccer fields that border Whitetail Lake.

From here I can see several boaters out on the lake as well as jet skiers. The city beach is packed with people who are sunbathing while listening to the concert music. The summer tourist population swells to around fifteen thousand people who want to take advantage of the amazing climate for all kinds of outdoor activities. The lake here is one such popular place for people to spend their summer vacations.

Carrie reaches my table as I stand up, and we give each other a long, hard hug as we rock back and forth. She was my best friend in high school and, while we don’t stay in touch nearly as much as we should, the bond is still there. I can thankfully feel it.

“God, you look great,” she says as she holds my hands in hers and spreads my arms wide to take a look at me. “But then again, you always did. Had all the boys panting after you.”

I roll my eyes and jerk my hands away from her. “Whatever. And besides, you’re the one that looks amazing.”

And she does. Her strawberry blonde hair is pulled back into her trademark ponytail. She’s got on a hat to shield her fair complexion from the sun, lest her thousands of freckles turn into millions.

“Pfft,” she says in response to my compliment, but that was always her way. She’s one of the most humble people I know. She takes my hand and drags me down onto the picnic table bench. We sit facing each other and straddling the pine plank, grinning like fools.

“What do you want to do today?” I ask her. Because I’d planned to spend the entire day with Carrie. I’d actually invited several of the friends that had constituted our little group in high school, but everyone had plans except Carrie. I wasn’t stupid though. I think they were personally avoiding me but I’m not sure why. I’m the same Joslyn Meyers I was when I left Cunningham Falls.

“Let’s just sit here and talk a bit,” Carrie says. “I’ve got so much to tell you, mostly about how Misty, Ella, and Christy are absolute bitches.”

“I wondered why they didn’t want to hang out,” I say glumly. “Is it me?”