Whispers of You (Lost & Found #1)(9)

“Wren,” Grae called from across the street, holding up a takeout bag from the deli.

“I’d better run,” I told Gretchen. “I’m meeting that one for lunch.” I hitched a thumb in Grae’s direction.

“Have fun.”

I waved and then looked for traffic before darting across the street. I pulled my best friend into a hug. “I thought we were going to Wildfire.”

An expression passed across her face so quickly that if I hadn’t known her all my life, I likely would’ve missed it.

“Grae…”

She started walking. “I thought we could do sandwiches in the park instead.”

I hurried to catch up with her. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Her pace quickened. “Just hungry.”

I grabbed Grae’s elbow, slowing her to a stop. “Grae Hartley, I’ve known you for my entire life, and I know when you’re lying to me.”

She shuffled her feet as I studied her. “We need to talk about Holt.”

I dropped Grae’s arm as if it were a branding iron. “We shall not speak his name. That’s the rule, remember?”

She’d tried at first, wanting so badly to fix what had been irrevocably broken. Then I’d started avoiding my best friend of forever, not answering her calls, making excuses for ducking out of plans. We’d finally been forced to come up with a ceasefire of sorts, and this was what we’d settled on.

Holt didn’t exist for me. I knew his family talked to him. Saw him, even. But they never mentioned his name in my presence. Until today.

Grae worried her bottom lip. “Emergency exemption requested.”

A lead weight settled in my stomach. “Did something happen to him?” The words came out in a rush of barely audible breath. I knew what he’d done when he left Cedar Ridge. He’d gone into the military. Then private security. Throwing himself into one risky situation after another, and all of them as far from home as he could get.

My heart hammered against my ribs as blood roared in my ears. Even though I hadn’t seen Holt in nine years and seven months, I still knew that he was here. On this Earth. Breathing. I’d have known if he weren’t. Some part of my soul would’ve registered it.

Grae blanched. “Oh, God, no. I’m sorry. It’s nothing like that.”

Relief blazed through me like an ice bath after third-degree burns. “What is it?” There was a snap of annoyance to my words. Anger surged at the reminder that no matter how much time had passed, I still cared.

Grae met my gaze, uncertainty filling hers. “He’s back.”





3





HOLT





“Hoooolt,” a feminine voice singsonged.

I froze in the entryway of the bed and breakfast. I’d known it was a risk to stay here, but I hadn’t wanted to stay at my parents’ place, and my siblings all had their own lives; they didn’t need me crowding their space.

I slowly turned around and forced a smile as I took in the woman in her early sixties. “Ms. Peabody. Nice to see you.”

She clasped her hands in front of her and practically vibrated with excitement. “You’re grown now. You know you can call me Janice.”

Her nickname growing up had been Ms. Busybody, and with good reason.

“All right, Janice.”

Her shoulders gave a little shimmy. “I was so excited when I saw your name on the roster. I knew you’d come home eventually. All good sons do.” She leaned in a little closer, a look of exaggerated sympathy on her face. “How is it being back? I know there has to be a lot of memories…”

Janice let the sentence hang, waiting for me to finish it. She’d be waiting a hell of a long time.

I locked down my expression. I’d had years to master my blank mask. She wasn’t getting any tidbits of information to gossip over with her cronies.

“It’s good to be back, but I need to head out. Wouldn’t want to be late to my parents’.”

“Oh, of course not. Tell your mom hi for me.”

I didn’t miss the disappointment in her voice. I’d continue being a disappointment every time she tried one of these ambushes. I’d tried to snag one of the vacation rentals in town, but they were all booked up for the season. Still, it might be worth trying again in case someone had canceled.

Giving Janice a nod, I headed for the door.

“Wren’s working across the street. I’m sure your brothers told you, but just in case they didn’t…I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

My gait hitched in mid-step. So much for that blank mask. But I didn’t say a word, just kept walking.

My pulse beat harder in my neck, the rapid rhythm of trying to fight off the memories. The sticky feeling of her blood between my fingers. Her fading heartbeat. The knowledge that I’d failed her. She’d almost died because of me. Because I’d let Nash distract me. I might as well have been holding the gun myself.

I sucked in the mountain air as I stepped outside onto Main Street. There was nothing like it. It didn’t matter how many places I’d been, none of them smelled quite like this—a blend of pine and fresh water and something unique to Cedar Ridge. I let it fill my nostrils and swirl around, praying it would cleanse the nightmare images from my brain.