While I Was Away(73)

She hated saying those words, because she didn't believe them. But if Jones did, then she'd rather know now than later.

“Maybe ...” he mumbled, plucking nervously at the bottom of his shirt.

“Or maybe ...” she continued, and took a few steps towards him. “Or maybe it's something more.”

“I don't believe in this stuff. I don't.”

“I know you don't.”

“... but it was so real. I was there. I swear I was there. I could feel you.”

“And what did I feel like?” she questioned.

“Like ... like ...” he looked like he was in pain as he tried to bring forth the right words. “Right. You just felt right. Being there with you ... I wanted to be there forever.”

“I know the feeling,” she whispered. He shook his head violently and backed up again, his back ramming into the front door.

“It was so goddamn real. You were right next to me, you held my hand. And I knew where the tree had been, I could see where the roots had been ripped out, just like you'd said. How could I picture it so clearly? I mean, I know, I just know it was all exactly how it had been for you. How!?”

“Because you know me,” she stressed.

“I don't.”

She didn't want to have this argument again. When he railed against her, he always won. In her dreams or in real life, Jones had always been a stubborn man.

“What did we do?” she switched tactics, moving so she was standing in front of him. She didn't get too close, though, didn't want to crowd him – she knew what he was feeling right now. Jet lag had nothing on traveling between realities. “What did we talk about?”

“You said ... it was okay for me to be scared. You said true love isn't always easy or fair,” he breathed, lifting his eyes to hers again. “And you said if it was all really just a dream, that you hoped we didn't wake up.”

“Sometimes I wish we hadn't,” she whispered back, wiping at the tears in the corners of her eyes. “What did you say back?”

He took a deep, shuddering breath, his frame shaking and his chest heaving with the act.

“I hoped we didn't wake up, either.”

“But we did, Jones. And we're stuck here, and here is all there is now,” she told him. He nodded, his gaze drifting off into the middle distance.

“Here is now,” he whispered, and she smiled sadly at him.

“Please,” she spoke in hushed tones. “Please, Jones. You were there. You know it's real. Please believe me. Please remember me.”

It was like she could physically feel him pulling away from her. He stood up straight and shook his head, holding a hand out in front of himself as if to keep her at bay. Whether for her own safety, or for his, she couldn't tell. His mind and his heart were having a battle royale – someone was bound to get hurt.

“It was just a dream,” he stated, rubbing his free hand down his face.

“It wasn't.”

“It wasn't real.”

“It was.”

“No. I don't believe in soulmates.”

“Pity,” she laughed, almost a little hysterically. She couldn't bear this – she was losing him all over again.

But instead of pulling further away, Jones went completely still and stared at her, looking equal parts terrified and enthralled.

“Why is it a pity?” he whispered.

“Because I do,” she whispered back.

All the air seemed to rush out of his body at once, and for a moment, Adele was afraid he'd faint. He surged away from the door and she stepped forward, thinking maybe she could catch him before he hit the ground.

And he did fall – straight into her. Dove into her, his mouth fusing to hers like he wanted to become permanently attached. She let out a muffled squeak of surprise at the same time his fingers raked through her hair, pinning her to his kiss.

Finally. If this is a dream, please, PLEASE, don't wake me up right now! Do you hear me, universe!?

She staggered under his weight for a moment, then he whirled them around. Now her back was the one against the door and she gasped at the cold seeping through her thin t-shirt.

“How do I know this?” he was whispering as he kissed across her cheek. “Your skin, the way you feel, jesus, even the way you smell.”

“I know,” she panted, clawing at his shirt and dragging it up his back.

“It feels like we've done this a thousand times,” he told her, his lips against her neck.

“We should've been doing it this whole time,” she laughed, then moaned when his teeth skated over her clavicle.

“I'm sorry,” he said, his hands heavy as they smoothed down the sides of her neck, around her breasts, and past her hips. When his fingertips hit the bare skin on her thighs, they both jumped at the bolt of static electricity that passed between them.

Do it. Light the fuse. Blow me up. Because I could die happy right now.

In her dreams, they'd never had a chance for more, and now she wanted all of him. Quickly, before reality crashed in and woke them up again. She dragged his mouth back to hers, kissing him hard and deep, memorizing the inside of his mouth with her tongue.

His hands were all over her, rediscovering a lost land. Under the shirt, on her stomach, then sliding around to her butt. Clenching and kneading before simply grabbing hold of her. She gasped when he picked her up with ease, pinning her against the door with his own weight. She gladly wrapped her legs around him.