What the Duke Wants(48)

Carlotta took in a deep breath. “I believe I’ve stated my opinion on the kisses, your grace. To allow you to use my Christian name would simply undermine my previous statement.”

“Ah, yes, the no kissing. Seems to be working rather well, wouldn’t you say?” he teased just as he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her shocked lips.

“Your grace!”

“Charles,” he amended.

“You cannot simply… kiss people.”

“I don’t. I kissed, you.”

“I’m a person and I don’t wish to be kissed!”

“Yes, you do. You just are afraid.”

“Yes, no. I mean—” She broke off, sighing heavily and releasing his arm. “Yes, I’m afraid, for obvious reasons we have already discussed. I’m not one to trifle with. I have more… respect for myself than that. I ask for you to exhibit that same… respect towards me… please.” Her tone was pleading. In all truth, she was powerless to stop him if he did continue to kiss her. Not only was he stronger, but she had no desire to stop him either. She wanted his kisses, but her heart had a quite different view than her mind. And her mind won the logical debate. It had to end.

Now.

“I swear to you that I’m not simply dallying with you, Carlotta.”

“Your grace, you cannot do anything but. I’m simply a governess. Nothing more… but nothing less either. When I left London, you explained that whatever attraction we felt must be denied, that was why you were sending us away. Why then, are you here now? I’ll not say I’m not attracted to you. I am. As much as it terrifies me, I am. But there is nothing that can come of it. So please. I ask, no, I beg of you. Please. Allow me to remain respectable in my own eyes and do not kiss me or try me further. I fear my own will is not strong enough against the force of your own.

Carlotta gazed at him, her heart angry at the unfairness of the situation. How miserable that the longing, the heat in their kisses could never be explored further unless it accompanied a fall from grace.

Life, as always, was never fair.

And Carlotta was quite aware of that fact.

But never so much as right now.

“You’re resolved?”

“Yes.”

“And what if I don’t agree?”

“Then you’ll be going against my wishes, and in that, reacting in a selfish manner that further explains your intentions towards me.” She held her breath, hoping she didn’t offend him by challenging his honor.

But there was no other way.

“Very well.”

A stony silence followed them to the room with the pianoforte. Once the duke opened the door and led her in, he bid her goodnight and left abruptly. A few moments later the girls and Lady Southridge arrived, giggling and smiling. When they noticed the duke’s absence, Carlotta answered their questioning gazes before they could speak.

“His grace retired early.”

Lady Southridge’s brow drew together and she glanced to the door. She took a small step as if debating whether she should drag him from his chambers, but Berty chose that moment to begin to play her latest piece on the pianoforte, stealing Lady Southridge’s attention.

The girls all took turns, playing perfectly and singing together. As soon as it was acceptable, Carlotta ushered them to bed.

As she lay on her own pillow not much later, she reminded herself that it was for the best.

No matter how wonderful his kisses were, they would only serve to destroy her.

After all, Eve’s sin was to taste the forbidden fruit.

And there was nothing more forbidden to a governess than her employer.





Chapter Eleven




The next day dawned clear and bright. Carlotta helped the girls ready themselves after breakfast and soon they were waiting in the parlor for the carriage to be brought about. The girls seemed nervous. Carlotta watched them carefully and tried to reassure them with a hand to their cheek or a slight squeeze to their shoulder.

As the time for their departure arrived, Lady Southridge came into the room, her nose red and her eyes watery. “Oh my dears! I cannot believe it! All our travels and today of all days I am to catch a sniffle! I tried all morning to relieve myself of this miserable—” She coughed delicately into a handkerchief. “But is of no use! How I wish I could go! But you must enjoy your time without me.” She gave a trembling smile.

Then sneezed.

“How miserable, Lady Southridge.” Carlotta felt pity for the poor woman. There was never anything as miserable as feeling poorly.


Except for maybe pining for a duke she could never have.

Yes, being sick was second to that.

“You go on without me,” she said again. As if on cue, Bethanny strode forward and wrapped her arms around Lady Southridge’s shoulders. “I’ll stay with you, that way you’ll have some company.”

“Yes, me too,” Beatrix said quietly, going to stay beside her sister.

Berty bit her lip, glancing to Carlotta then to Lady Southridge, she seemed to debate her options.

“Berty…” Bethanny spoke lowly, warning.

“Oh all right. I’ll stay too.” She pouted and walked over to the rest of her sisters.

“There’s no reason for me to go then—”