What the Duke Wants(39)

“I—”

“Because if a gentleman cares for a lady… regardless of her station… she should never have cause for tears.” Lady Southridge began to circle about the room. Walking to the same window, she lightly touched the tapestry where Carlotta had hidden only minutes ago.

Apparently, she wasn’t joking about her suspicion of his affection for Carlotta. He was taken off balance by the full realization that Lady Southridge was championing her, siding with her.

Against him.

If Lady Southridge approved…

“I’m not quite as ignorant as you might imagine Charles,” she commented lightly.

Charles closed his eyes in both humiliation and prayer. His reverent yet soundless whispers to the Almighty begged for the ground to swallow him.

Better yet, swallow Lady Southridge.

He opened one eye just in case, but nothing.

Damn.

Lady Southridge continued to watch him, studying him with far more awareness and likely accuracy than he appreciated. But there was nothing to do but wait it out.

“So tell me, what are your reservations?” Lady Southridge spoke curiously.

“Reservations?”

“I’ve not been living on a rock, Charles. While your conquests of late,” she said, eying him meaningfully, “are of the more notorious variety. You’ve never been one to hide your nature… or your actions. At least from anyone who would have the courage to ask.”

“What are you getting at?” Charles snapped, losing his patience.

“That there must be something about this governess that you find so necessary to keep secret that you resort to hiding her behind curtains to keep her from view. And in all my time in knowing you… which has been a very long time indeed, I have never known you to hide anything… even that which is shameful and you rather should hide.” Her eyes widened as she spoke the last phrase, her tone wry and reproachful.

“You think I’m ashamed of her?” Charles asked dubiously.

“I’m quite certain of it… and if my instincts are correct, I imagine she feels somewhat similar.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Of all the…” Charles ran his fingers through his dark hair, resisting the urge to pull it out.

Women.

“I was trying to protect her! Not just hide her for my own… I don’t even want to speculate what answer you could come up with.” He blew out a frustrated breath.

“Protect her? From whom?” Lady Southridge asked, disbelief in her tone.

“You.”

“Pardon?” she asked, her eye narrowing.

And this is why I hid her…

“Restraint is not in your repertoire, Lady Southridge. You would have seen her and pounced.”

“I’m not a house cat, Charles,” she replied bitterly, and with an ungracious acknowledging shake of her head.

“I’d compare you more to a lioness myself,” he teased.

“So I’m to blame? I find this a little farfetched.” She sniffed indignantly.

“For the hiding… yes.” Charles nodded then turned to face the fire, hoping his answer would eliminate her further questions.

He really should have known better.

“Then why, pray tell, did the poor creature dissolve into tears once I left? I said nothing.” She paused as if remembering her words. “Very well, I might have not been the soul of discretion but I didn’t say anything that would cause tears. Of that I’m sure.”

He remained silent.

“Charles,” Lady Southridge warned.

“You haven’t even met her, why are you on her side?”

“I’m not about sides I’m about finding you a suitable wife!”

“I don’t need your help!”

“Yes you do! She ran from the room crying!”

“I don’t want your help!”

“You don’t get a choice.”

“And this is why I hid her from you!”

“Because you don’t want me to ruin your chances?”

“No I just—”

“You what, Charles,” Lady Southridge snapped back.

“I didn’t want her to face your disapproval.” There, he said it. And already he felt miserable.

“Disapproval?” Lady Southridge repeated, her tone shocked and hurt.

“Must I repeat myself?” he answered tiredly.

“No. I believe you were perfectly clear. Upon my word, Charles. Is this how you treat her?”

“No, I treat her much worse, apparently. After all, I did dissolve her to tears only a moment before you arrived. And here you stand, completely tearless… I must try harder,” he replied sarcastically, with venom.

“Anger will get you nowhere, Charles. The truth however, might have some promise.”

“I told you the truth.”

“No, you told me a portion. The real question is… why would I not approve?” she asked, her head tilted thoughtfully.

“Must you truly ask that?”

“Apparently.”

Charles felt his shoulders sag; his body weary from traveling now seemed almost as if it were full of lead rather than blood. And lucky him, this was the day that would last for eternity.

“Because… she’s a bloody governess! Do you want the truth? I’m miserably wretched for her because I know I’m not good enough for her. My title, my money, my connections. Nothing of it is worth a farthing because it matters not in the truest of things. She is far better than I, yet I cannot pursue her because a match between us is insupportable because I’m a duke… and far poorer in character than she deserves.” Charles walked numbly to the chair closest to the fire and sank into it, sagging his head to be cradled in his hands.