What We Find (Sullivan's Crossing, #1)(25)

He sat by his fire, thinking. He gave her some time to find him. He didn’t feed the fire; he let it burn out. Then he went prowling, looking for her. If he had to, he’d knock on the door and call her out. Their routine had made him happy. He didn’t know if he was finally working through his issues or if it was something about the crossing—the spot where the Continental Divide separated the east from the west, where everything felt balanced. It was probably just that he’d been looking for a deeper understanding, for self-discovery, for a couple of years now and he was finally stumbling upon it. Pure accident.

She was sitting on her back porch steps in the dark. No fire. Her view? The garden, which was all dirt so far.

“There you are,” he said. “Hiding.”

“It’s not a good night, Calvin,” she said.

“All right, I get that. I was waiting down by the lake. You shouldn’t do that, you know—bring me a beer at night, cozy up and talk in the dark and then shut down. I won’t know how to act tomorrow.”

“Don’t act,” she advised. “Just try to be normal. Just be a guy. You didn’t see anything, you didn’t hear anything. Just be a regular blissfully ignorant man.”

“I’m not that guy.”

“Famous last words,” she said.

“He hurt you,” Cal said. “I thought you might want to talk about it.”

“Are you some kind of counselor? What’s with all this understanding and sensitivity? Because the men I know are not like you. They don’t care about how a woman feels. They’re scared of women’s feelings. And they won’t admit to having feelings of their own, but boy, do they work at protecting them. Defending them.”

“Well, damn, I’m honored. You think I’m not like the men you know?” He sat on the step beside her. “Were you in love with him?”

She shrugged. “Probably not.”

“You’re pouting a lot for nothing, then.”

“He just hurt my feelings, that’s all. Maybe he was right.”

“I doubt it. If he was right, Sully would like him. He doesn’t like him.”

“He never told me that,” Maggie said.

“Because he’s just a guy,” Cal said with a laugh. He put an arm around her shoulders. “I should’ve kissed you last night or the night before. I should’ve done that before some useless old ex showed up and made you feel like you were missing something.”

She laughed in spite of herself. “You arrogant fool. What makes you think you kiss that good?”

He turned her toward him. He grabbed her so suddenly her arms were flapping like a bird’s wings. He covered her gasp with his lips, tightened his arms around her waist, held her close and moved over her lips with urgency, giving it his very best effort. The fit was perfect and he thought this might be one of his most outstanding kisses. He kept his eyes closed but he knew if he peeked hers would be wide-open. He tilted his mouth over hers to kiss her more deeply, edging his lips apart just enough to run his tongue along the seam of her lips, urging her to open up to him a little bit.

Her arms finally wrapped around him. That was what he was hoping for. Then her lips opened a little bit. She took a small, experimental taste and then with a sigh, he felt her sink into his kiss. He concentrated on just that, making it a wonderful kiss for as long as he could. She was molded to him and it felt just right. When he thought he’d given her a minute of brain-numbing kissing, he slowly pulled his lips away. But he didn’t let go.

Her eyes were closed now, that’s for sure. Her head tilted back, her chin lifted slightly and she let out her breath. Without opening her eyes she said, “Meh. It wasn’t that great.”

“It was fantastic and you know it,” he said. Then he nibbled at her bottom lip a little bit. “If it wasn’t perfect, I’m willing to keep trying.”

“Okay,” she said in a breath, leaning toward him.

Cal was happy to comply, especially if it helped her mood, as it was definitely helping his. It wasn’t typical of him to do much thinking while he was kissing or making love, but in this case he did a little of that. He was reminding himself that this was perfectly normal. Reasonable. He’d been around the crossing for weeks now. He’d gotten a little attached to it. He liked helping with the store, liked the locals who stopped by, the lake was lovely. Then Sully and Maggie came home and the place took on a new dimension. He was busy and starting to feel needed. He’d always liked feeling useful. The surrounding towns were friendly and quirky, there was no more beautiful landscape in the country, and Cal had seen a lot of the country.

And then there was Maggie. Yes, he had gotten to know quite a few doctors but he’d never kissed one before. Never one in khaki shorts and lace-up hiking boots.

He gently pulled away from her lips. “Am I getting any better?” he asked.

“Pretty average, so far,” she said.

“Let’s rest a minute, then I’ll go at it again. Let’s have something to drink. I have some brandy in my camper.”

“Brandy?” she said. “Bllkk. That’s for eggnog.”

“We can break into the store,” he suggested.

She patted her pocket to feel for a key and smiled. “Let’s.”

He wouldn’t let her get too far away from him. He put his arm around her waist and strolled with her from her back porch to the store’s back porch. She unlocked the back door. “Don’t turn on any lights or people will see and come wanting something.”