What Lovers Do(73)

“Annnything else you want to share about him?”

With her focus out her window, she shakes her head several times. “No.”

“Did your relationship end because you offered to be a surrogate for your sister and her husband?”

“No.”

This is a great conversation. I’m learning so much about her.

I’m done. She has nothing to say. I have, at best, a shaky grip on the news of her pregnancy. We seem to have nowhere to go at this point. And I do get that our relationship seemed to be going nowhere from the beginning. But things in life change. I thought we had changed.

When we get to my place, I shut off the engine. “Thank you for letting me tag along. It was great meeting your dad and Taryn. You’re a … good person, Sophie Ryan. I’m lucky to have you as my friend.” I give her a quick smile and climb out of the car to retrieve my things from the back.

“I had a nice time too. Even if you did beat me this time.” She moseys to the back of the car and slips her hands into her shorts’ pockets, rocking back and forth on her feet as I lug my clubs and duffle bag over my shoulder.

There is so much I want to say to her. I have all these feelings and no place for them to go. I don’t want to upset her or make her feel bad. So I do the right thing. The unselfish thing. “Listen. Your secret’s safe with me, and I get it now. I understand why you’ve tried to keep me at arm’s length. Taking care of yourself and the baby should be your number one priority.”

She nods a few times. “The baby is pretty easy right now. I’m up for walks. Golfing. Whatever. I mean, we’re still friends, right?”

I hate this. How did my life end up here? And why can’t I just pull it together and … and what? Hell, I’m not even sure.

Sophie presses her lips together, puffing out her cheeks for a moment before blowing a long breath out her nose. “This is it, isn’t it?”

“Sophie—” I deflate a bit. I need a minute. Maybe a day or two. Maybe longer.

“No. It’s fine. I mean, it was supposed to be me, you know … ending things when I could no longer hide the pregnancy. It was supposed to be me walking away when I didn’t want you to think I was being dishonest for any other reason than I made a promise to my sister before I met you. Now it’s easy, right? You do you. I’ll do me. It was fun while it lasted. All that good stuff, right?”

Every time she says “right,” I feel like something inside of her is breaking or maybe I’m feeling something breaking inside of myself.

“Right,” I manage, just above a whisper.

“Well, I’ll uh … see you around.”

I nod. One. Fucking. Nod.

Sophie drops her head and shuffles her feet to the driver’s side door. Before she gets a chance to look up at me, I head up my driveway. I’m not sure where I saw my relationship with Sophie going, but it wasn’t here. This isn’t an ending I could have ever imagined.





CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE





SOPHIE





I have a good pregnancy hormone cry on the way home after leaving Shep’s place. When I open the door, I don’t hear Jimmy. I need to pick up Cersei from my sister’s house, but first, I need to gain a little more composure.

When I reach my bedroom, passing all the other rooms in the house, I realize Jimmy is not here.

Jimmy. Is. Not. Here.

“Jimmy?” I turn on his bedroom light and then the bathroom light. I don’t have any messages from him, and he didn’t leave a note. But his belongings are still here.

I don’t even think. What’s there to think about? My attorney said I could change the locks if he ever leaves. And you better believe I’ve been prepared for this day. I have new deadbolts in my garage along with the tools I’ll need to swap them out.

If he wants to take me to court over a new driveway, that’s fine. I’ll counter sue for destruction of property. But he’s not living under this roof another day.

My shaky hands hustle to get the locks swapped out. After the new locks are secured, I change the garage door code and head straight to Jimmy’s bedroom—my bedroom. All of the rooms are mine.

One armful after another, I carry his stuff to the end of my driveway, where he will either take it or I’ll have it hauled off to the landfill.

When the door with the new lock is shut and latched behind me, I exhale a long breath. Today, I lost two men in my life. Is this Karma? Did I have to lose one to rid my life of the other?

And where is Jimmy?

“Not my circus. Not my monkey,” I repeat several times. In the morning, I’ll call a security company and arrange for cameras and an alarm to be installed. If Jimmy comes into my house again, it will be breaking and entering. That’s the only way he’s stepping foot in here again.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I call Chloe.

“You home?”

“Yes,” I say.

“How are Dad and Taryn?”

“Good. They want to come for a visit. I managed to hold them off until next month.”

Hmm … will that still happen if we’re not going to Sedona with Shep?

“Thank God. We can tell them together.”

“Yeah.”

“How are you feeling? Did you quit cleansing?”