What Lies Beyond the Veil (Of Flesh & Bone, #1)(44)

15





I trailed behind Caelum as he led the way through the woods, walking with the calm assurance of a man who knew how to navigate in a place where everything looked the same. I suspected we might be heading in the direction we’d come the night before, back toward the village with the barn that had changed everything and sent us spiraling down a path that I regretted with every breath.

Every so often, Caelum tried to interject and start a conversation up, but I think he grew tired of receiving one word answers from me. He studied me with the wariness of a man who thought I might just lie down in the middle of the forest and sleep for an eternity, and in my weaker moments that was exactly what I felt like doing.

“He wouldn’t want you to give up,” he said finally, acknowledging what we both knew kept me quiet. My grief consumed me, the knowledge that I’d been responsible for Brann’s death sitting heavy on my shoulders.

“You know nothing of my brother,” I snapped, my vision filling with the memory of Brann’s remorse as he raised the dagger high and prepared to sink it into my heart. I didn’t know what Caelum had seen on the cliff before he’d intervened, didn’t know if Brann’s attempt on my life was shared knowledge between us, but even I understood that my brother had been keeping secrets from me.

“I know that if I were fortunate enough to have a sister, I would protect her with everything I had to give. Even if that meant losing my life so that she could continue on. You can’t quit now, not when he gave his life for you,” Caelum said, his voice gentle despite the harsh words. It was as if he knew he needed to temper them with something soft, that my breaking point loomed just out of reach.

“And what am I supposed to do if what he wanted was for me to die?” I asked before I could think better of it. I regretted the words as soon as they’d left my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut as I berated myself for my stupidity.

If I needed Caelum, adding more to the possibility of there being something fundamentally wrong with me was probably the stupidest choice I could make.

“What?” Caelum asked, his voice nearly silent as his steps stopped altogether. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, his jaw tightening as those dark eyes glared down at me. “What do you mean he wanted you to die?”

I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, turning away from him and his blinding intensity as I continued in the direction we’d been walking only a moment before. “Death was preferable to being taken. That’s all I meant.” I brushed off my near admission, hoping he wouldn’t read further into something that really could be so simple.

“Do not lie to me, Estrella,” he said, grasping my forearm and spinning me around to face him once again. He invaded my space, his stomach so close to my chest that a deep breath would force us to touch. The moment would have felt intimate if it hadn’t been for the hatred blazing in his eyes. “That is the one thing I will not tolerate from you. If you want to keep your secrets, then fine. Keep them, but at least give me the respect of not looking me in the eye and tainting that pretty mouth with ugly lies.”

“Fine,” I grumbled, snapping my mouth closed as soon as I’d clipped out that one word. If he didn’t want me to lie, then I wouldn’t lie. I’d just keep my Gods-damned secrets to myself.

Caelum chuckled, the rage fading off his face with an odd sort of rumble from his chest. “Oh, Little One. I am going to enjoy unraveling every part of you slowly,” he murmured, lifting one of his calloused hands to brush a lock of hair back from my face. His skin touched mine gently as his finger curved over my cheek and down the line of my jaw, stopping to grip my chin for a moment before he released me.

“You just said I could keep my secrets,” I said, my voice cracking as his smile washed over me. His voice was the greatest sin, wrapping around the words as if they were a sensual promise.

“You’re welcome to try,” he said, releasing my forearm where he’d grabbed me, in favor of tracing a single finger over the sleeve of my dress. It was the same spot where my dagger had rested before, pressed against my skin and waiting for me to use it to kill myself.

Brann had saved me the trouble, pulling it free and trying to take my burden from me himself.

“But I think we both know it’s only a matter of time before you let me inside your head. If we’re both being entirely honest,” he murmured, his gaze burning into mine. “I’m already there.”

“That’s a bold presumption to make toward someone you’ve just met,” I said, jerking my arm away from his grip and continuing on my way. His hands came down on my shoulders, pointedly turning my body to the proper direction so I didn’t walk off our course. He came up beside me, strolling as if he didn’t have a care in the world and hadn’t insisted he would invade my privacy bit by bit.

“Perhaps, or maybe it’s just the truth. If it’s any consolation, you’re already in mine, too, Little One. Every time I close my eyes I see you holding a blade to my throat with your eyes burning as if you were born in blood and violence,” he said, immediately drawing from the horrific stories I’d heard from my father when he spoke of my birth.

Of the way my mother had nearly died trying to deliver me.

Caelum took my hand in his, the coolness of his skin drawing a shiver from me as he guided me to the side and into the space where the trees were closer and provided better cover. The village Brann and I had abandoned the night before loomed ahead, the structure of the barn both a taunt and a reminder of all that I’d lost since then.