What Lies Beyond the Veil (Of Flesh & Bone, #1)(103)

“What happened?” she asked, her fingertips brushing against the sensitive skin of my scars ever so slightly. They barely touched my skin; it was the echo of a different person near them making me arch away from her touch reflexively.

“I will not be owned. Never again,” I told her, shrugging the tunic on finally. The heavy linen settled around my breasts and hung down to the middle of my thighs, giving me plenty of room to maneuver while still not making me stand out too much outside the tunnels.

I turned, meeting her eyes as she stared at me with a pity-filled gaze. “Never again,” she said, swallowing as she dropped her hand to her side. She walked to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer to remove a small vial of purple serum. The glass was clear, the cork stopper at the top seeming ominous as she reached out and took one of my hands in hers. She pressed it into my hand, holding it for a moment. “Belladonna serum,” she said, answering my unvoiced question.

I knew looking at the vial that it was enough to be a lethal dose. “Does this even work on us now?” I asked, huffing a laugh as I tried not to think about the ways I could commit suicide if I needed to. It had been the plan to die alongside Brann; how unfortunate it would be to make it this far just to end up the same.

“So long as you take it before they get you back to Alfheimr and complete the bond, it will end this life for you. It won’t stop you from reincarnating into your next one, but perhaps in that one you’ll stand a chance of being free,” she said, releasing my hand and stepping back. She was already dressed warmly, swinging her heavy black cloak over her shoulders and pulling up the hood as I donned the warm socks she tossed my way and shoved my feet back into my boots.

She grabbed a spare cloak off the back of a chair in her room, stepping forward to help me arrange it around my shoulders and pull up the hood. When that was finished, she moved to the weapons on one side of her room. Grasping a dagger and strap, she handed them to me so I could buckle the leather around my thigh. I sighed with pleasure the moment I had the weapon, knowing I wouldn’t be entirely defenseless as we ventured out into the dangers I’d been so happy to escape only days prior.

It seemed impossible how little time had passed, and yet everything had changed.

“I would give you a sword, but I think you’re far more capable with that,” she said, strapping her sword and scabbard to her waist.

“I am. Thank you,” I said, tucking the vial of belladonna serum into the pocket of my cloak. Another reassurance—another thing I shouldn’t want to have. It said something about how vile this world was, when having a way to end my life was considered a blessing.

“Promise me you’ll be careful,” she said, meeting my eyes earnestly. “I know your Caelum will do his best to protect you, but you are far more valuable to me here with the books. It goes against everything in my nature to allow you to accompany us today, but I feel as if I am left with no choice. You were quite determined to join us.”

“I still am,” I said, holding true to what I’d said to Caelum. He wanted us to live together, to die together, to stay together. I’d hold to that promise, because everything I wanted in this life was with him now, anyway.

“Stubborn,” she said, shaking her head in amusement. “Come. Imelda will ward each of us against our mates before we go. It buys us four days before we need to worry. That’s plenty of time to get to Calfalls and back, assuming we don’t run into any trouble along the way.”

I nodded, grateful at least for that one assurance. “What about the Mist Guard and the Wild Hunt?” I asked, watching as she shook her head and led the way from her chambers.

“The Mist Guard we kill, but if we encounter the Wild Hunt, the only thing you do is run. None of us stand a chance against them.” That elusive thought danced through me again, the reminder that the Hunt was one more thing Caelum had survived that was supposed to be impossible.

All because they’d been looking for me.

I did the only thing I could do in the face of that, protecting the secret of their interest specifically in me that even I didn’t understand.

I kept my fucking mouth shut.





33





The cold sank into my bones despite the warm clothes designed to protect me from it. After spending days in the humid warmth of the tunnels, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to tolerate the cold again in the same way. I’d spent my entire life being well-acquainted with the winter and never having enough warmth, but there was something about it now that reached inside me much more easily, as if that cold hollow at my center called to the wind itself.

We’d been walking all day, first in the labyrinth of narrow tunnels that extended through the entirety of the Hollow Mountains. They weren’t the same as the tunnels within the Resistance camp itself, but far smaller and more suffocating. Only wide enough for us to walk in a single-file line, the walls pressed in on us as we passed through. I’d taken in a deep, shuddering breath of frosty air the moment we’d emerged into the sun, more grateful than I could explain for the space at my sides and above my head.

We’d emerged on the other side of the Hollows from where Caelum and I had traveled, the deep chasm of the strait between the Main Continent and the Isle of Ruin at our side. The pathway between the mountain range and the rapidly flowing body of water that stretched on and on left just enough space for us to walk comfortably, without fear of slipping on the snow-covered ground. It was only a dusting, the first hint of the coming cold season that lay atop the grass, but it was enough that we would leave footprints for any who found themselves on the mostly abandoned side of the Hollows.