What If (If Only.... #2)(51)

As they shake, Maggie’s surprise morphs into a smile. She beams all the way to her eyes, and I have to catch my breath at the sight of it. Of course Duncan brings this out in her. He brings it out in everyone. But I want that power, to make her smile like that again.

Duncan’s dark hair has grown from the buzz cut he sported a couple of years ago, though he still keeps it short. I laugh when I realize he’s not wearing a coat, only a navy sweater and dark jeans.

“No coat?” I ask him, and he shrugs.

“You’re lucky I’ve got jeans on. I’m only wearing ’em because Elaina said I couldn’t walk down Michigan Avenue in a kilt with this wind.” He leans in, lowering his voice. “I think she’s afraid the other lasses will see my legs and not be able to keep their hands off.”

I raise a brow, and Duncan blurts out a “Shite! I ruined the rest of the surprise. Okay, not all of it. I’ll let Elaina tell you we’re getting married.”

Maggie and I look at each other and burst out laughing. Then we look at Duncan.

“Shite!”



We ride the elevator up to the ninety-sixth floor, the whole time Duncan pleading with us to act surprised not only to see Elaina but also when she tells us the big news. When Duncan gets distracted by a text he missed from the future missus, I take it as a moment alone in a space with no privacy.

“You wanted to tell me something downstairs, before Duncan showed up. Didn’t you?”

She shakes her head. “It can wait. This is your night. Let’s enjoy it.”

Her eyes shift to Duncan, who furiously types a message into his phone, one that probably won’t get to Elaina before we do.

“I will,” I say. “We will, but on one condition.”

“What’s that?” she asks.

“One more WILD card, when we get back to the room tonight.”

The elevator rocks to a gentle halt, the three of us emerging into the Signature Lounge. Duncan leads us to the small section cornered off for the Aberdeen representatives and alumni. I look for the unassuming, pixie-haired girl I knew two years ago but don’t see her. Instead I’m greeted by a beautiful, vibrant woman with long, dark, wavy hair, brimming with confidence. Her arms are around me before my brain registers that it’s her.

“Jordan? Holy shit. Look at you. You’re beautiful.” I speak the words into her hair, returning her embrace. It feels good to hold her, all my uncertainty melting away. Because while I can’t believe this is Jordan Brooks in my arms again, the only feelings I have are those of gratitude and joy at seeing my friend again. My friend.

So f*cking much has held me back from Maggie—my history, my family, any excuse I could come up with to look for an easy way out because I’ve always known, even growing up where so much seemed handed to me, that everything has its price. But it’s always worked for me, never investing myself one-hundred percent—anywhere—so I’ve never risked the pain.

I was so sure coming here tonight would ignite old feelings, feelings I risked for Jordan that weren’t returned, that couldn’t be returned. Instead, holding her like this, it’s f*cking clarity.

Jordan and I release each other, a mutual letting go of the hug, and I grab Maggie’s hand, hoping she can read something new in my touch—a promise that she’s worth the risk, the potential for pain. I’m not letting go this time.

“Jordan…this is Maggie.”

Jordan scoops Maggie into a hug. “I am so happy to meet you,” she says.

Over Jordan’s shoulder, Noah approaches, a slight tension in the set of his shoulders. If this meeting had happened a month ago, I may have responded the same way, apprehension in seeing the guy she chose instead of me. The one who gave her every reason to run, to say it wasn’t worth the pain. I get it now, enduring the pain for all the good that comes with it. And here they are, two years later. Together.

Okay, so the sting of rejection might still linger.

“Hey, man,” he says, his hand outstretched.

“Hey.” We shake, and that’s when Duncan and Elaina swarm in on either side of us.

“No. No. This will not do,” Elaina says, yanking our hands apart.

“Not a’tall,” Duncan chimes in. “I can’t spend the bloody night watching you two wankers act like you’re still in Aberdeen. It’s been two years, aye?”

Neither Noah nor I respond, and Elaina continues, her thick Greek accent emphasizing her insistence that whatever is between us doesn’t go any further than right now.

“Noah, are you and Jordan happy? Remember, my offer still stands to kill you in your sleep if you hurt her. You can see that I am not above traveling long distances when the reason is important.”

At this, Noah cracks a smile, and Jordan materializes next to him, her and Maggie somehow forgotten by us for the moment. Maggie stands to my right, hesitating.

Jordan wraps her arms around him, edging Elaina out of the way, and the glint in her eyes says it all. She is happy, a type of happy I wasn’t capable of giving her, not then. Any doubt I had about Noah, about what he was willing to give to her, vanishes when I see him return her look, like she is the only person he sees, even after two years. And that’s all it takes for the tension to vanish.

“I’m really happy for you guys,” I tell them, ending Maggie’s hesitation by grabbing the belt loop of her coat and yanking her close, so there’s no more visible space between us.