Weekend Warriors (Sisterhood #1)(42)

Julia pulled a paper surgical mask across her face. She pulled on two pairs of latex gloves. She saw the others watching her. “Just in case of a nick. I don’t want to kill him, considering my condition.”

Kathryn ripped at the Tina Turner wig and threw it across the room. “The table’s too low, Julia.”

Julia dropped to her knees. She fixed her gaze on Kathryn. “This isn’t exactly brain surgery. I can do it on my knees. Now, how do you want this done? The way it would be done in a hospital or do you want it quick and dirty?”

“Quick and dirty,” Kathryn said clearly. Alexis’s thumb shot upward. Yoko gave her new breasts a boost and nodded.

“You got it. I’ll talk my way through it so you know what’s happening.” Julia reached for her scalpel. “I’m lifting his penis so I can cut into the scrotum. I am going to deliver it through the scrotum sac. You might not want to watch as this can be extremely bloody even though I’m going to clamp it off. I’m going to tie off the arteries with silk sutures. Then I’m going to tie a square knot around the cord. Just so you know, inside the cord is where the blood vessels are and the epididymis. I’m tying it off. I’m going to staple the skin to bring it back together. This might be a good time to rinse out that Snapple bottle, Kathryn, and fill it with formaldehyde. It’s in my bag.”

Kathryn’s hands shook and then steadied when Julia dropped what looked like two balls into the bottle. “Screw the lid on tight,” Julia said.

Five minutes later, Sidney Lee, insurance broker, was bandaged and being dressed.

“No more testosterone or erections for you, Mr. Sidney Lee,” Julia said as she ripped off the surgical mask and stripped off the latex gloves.

“It was so…quick.”

“Here today and gone tomorrow,” Alexis said.

“I told you it wasn’t brain surgery. I could have done it with my eyes closed. I want to do that to my husband so bad I can taste the feeling. Okay, we need to sweep this place clean. Everyone put on a pair of latex gloves and go over this entire place and clean anything you might have touched. The toilet handle, the refrigerator, the doorknobs. Keep the gloves on until we get in the car. Yoko, take the check out of his briefcase along with the insurance forms. Stuff them in my medical bag. Bundle up the bloody towels and shower curtain and put them in a pillowcase. Leave a hundred dollar bill on the dresser to pay for the towels, shower curtain and pillowcase. Leave another ten dollars for the drinks. Wipe the bills clean. It might be a good idea to wash them first. Kathryn, get your wig and put it on.”

“What…what should I do with…this?” Kathryn asked, holding up the Snapple bottle.

“Stick it in your coat pocket for now. Mark it somehow so you know who they belong to.”

“I don’t need to mark it,” Kathryn said.

“Okay, we’re outta here,” Alexis said, taking one last look around the villa to see if they had forgotten anything. “Everyone, just stop for a minute. Think carefully. Did you touch anything you forgot to clean? My fingerprints are on file. Yours are too, Kathryn. Julia, how about you?”

“Mine are on file, too. Yoko?”

“Yes, mine are also. I will go around one more time to be sure. The knob on the outside door needs to be wiped clean,” she said breathlessly.

“Good thinking,” Kathryn said, clapping her on the back. “Two out the back door, Yoko and I go out the front. We’ll meet you at the motel.”

“Do not look at him again, Kathryn. It will serve no purpose.”

“How did —”

“I know. Come, we must hurry. We want to look normal so we should smile and talk as we make our way to the car.”

“So, you’re liking your new boobs, huh?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You know, Julia could give you a real set if you want, I bet. You could surprise your husband for his birthday or something.”

“I will think on the matter. It is not out of the question.”

Kathryn laughed all the way to the car, Sidney Lee’s nuts bobbing up and down inside the Snapple bottle.





Myra was out the kitchen door the minute she heard Nikki’s car crunch to a stop.

“Myra, what the hell is going on? You scared me half to death last night with that phone call,” Nikki said, climbing out of the car.

“I know, I know. Isabelle called and she had this…this vison. She saw someone bending over a car sticking a black marble on it. It was a BMW. You drive a BMW. I was too befuddled last night to think clearly, but now I’ve had time to think, I think someone planted a…a bug in your car. That’s why I didn’t want you to drive it. I hope I’m just being paranoid.” She looked upward. “It’s going to pour any minute now. Come along, dear.”

Nikki tossed her purse and briefcase onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Do you have any fresh coffee? I just rolled out of bed, leased the car and here I am. I never feel alive until I’ve had two cups of coffee. He wouldn’t dare. Jack wouldn’t do that to me. Yes, he would,” she said, her shoulders slumping.

Myra set a cup of coffee in front of her. “Isabelle always said her visions were never defined but this time she said she clearly saw the letters BMW. It might mean something and again it might not. You need to have a mechanic check out your car, Nikki.”