Watch Me Fall (Ross Siblings, #5)(7)
“I even told you,” Ghost said solemnly to her. “That guy… The wheel is spinning, but the hamster’s dead. He’s not all with us.”
“See? And that’s coming from him.”
“What is this, a f*cking intervention? You’re all ganging up on me now? Shit!” Her fingers itched to grab something, to throw it and storm out, to give them all something to really f*cking talk about. She settled for clenching her hands at her sides, taking a deep breath, then diving toward the drawer where she kept a spare pack of cigarettes. “Fuck you guys,” she snarled as she rummaged, clumsy with rage. Where the hell were they? “You can pat yourselves on your f*cking backs. Lesson learned, all right?” Ah! Her fingers grabbed the soft pack hard enough to crush the sweet cylinders to dust.
“Calm down,” Brian said, a hitch of laughter in his voice.
“Do not”—Starla straightened, holding the cigarettes out threateningly toward him—“tell me to calm down.”
“Calm down, Starla,” Ghost said, a twinkle of humor in his own eyes.
“Am I f*cking funny to you?”
“You kind of are a little funny,” Brian said.
“It’s like being yapped at by a Chihuahua,” Ghost said. “You’re madder than a motherf*cker but too little and cute to be scary.”
Brian dissolved into laughter. His musical, beautiful laughter, all at her expense. Just wonderful. She was a joke. Pulling a cigarette from the pack with her teeth, she grabbed a lighter from her drawer and muttered, “Fuck all y’all,” around the stick as she passed between the guys on her way to the back door.
Crisp, early spring air cooled her burning cheeks, and she flung her back against the outside wall and lit up. That first merciful inhalation calmed her racing heart. As she exhaled a long stream of smoke into the sky, watching it dissipate, she imagined all her outrage going with it. All her problems. If only it were that easy.
The door beside her opened, and Brian stepped out, squinting against the brightness. Starla tensed immediately, suddenly self-conscious about yet another failure. He’d quit smoking just before hooking up with Candace. Just quit. Cold turkey, her smoking buddy had kicked the habit. She didn’t even dare try.
Of course, he knew she still struggled with it, but he didn’t usually see her do it.
“I’m sorry, Star,” he said, leaning his shoulder against the wall next to her. No hint of a smile or any insincerity whatsoever on his gorgeous, flawless face.
The edge of her lips quirked up despite herself, and finally she gave in to a sad chuckle. Her hand shook as she took another drag; hopefully, he didn’t notice. “You know I can’t stay mad at you.”
“You’re one of the few who can say that. More like the two who can say that.” He laughed.
“So how are Candace’s parents?” It was a pertinent question. While the Andrews family accepted he wasn’t going anywhere, they stayed mad at him for continuing to exist, and had given him hell from the inception of his and Candace’s relationship. It had pissed Starla off no end. Anyone who couldn’t see how wonderful he was…
A grin broke over his face. “Got ’em eating out of my hand.”
“What? Really?”
“Oh yeah. Lyric is their only grandchild. They want access to him, they have to go through us. Just an unspoken truth they seemed to accept right away. And Sylvia is crazy about him. She was coming over for a few hours today, which is why I thought I’d bail and see what was going on with you.”
“Now you see.”
“It scared the shit out of me when Janelle called me last night,” he said gravely. “I want you to know that. I swear if that motherf*cker had done anything to you—”
“Please,” she said, waving the idea away. “He’s not gonna do anything. Although it would be nice if I could get my purse back. I’ve already called the bank, but it’s a pain in the ass.”
“Do you want me to do something about it?”
“No,” she said quickly. “Don’t get involved.”
“Don’t see him anymore. No matter what.”
“Don’t go out with that guy again. For any reason.” Jared’s comparable words floated back to revisit her. He’d looked at her with a similar earnestness in similar blue eyes too. Somehow it made her feel like a little girl again. “Okay, Dad,” she said, smiling to show she was kidding.
“Are we good?”
She gave him a light punch in the chest. “You know we are.”
“Cool.” He turned to go back in. She let her gaze travel over the skeletal white dragon emblazoned on the back of his black hoodie. But before he opened the door, he glanced back at her. “You sure? Anything else bothering you?”
Oh God, so much. “No,” she said.
“Sometimes I’m afraid you guys are going to burn out. We’ve already lost Connor and now Ian, and they’re hard to replace. This expansion is driving me crazy. I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you too, Star. You know I’m still here for you if you need me. If you’re having problems, come to me, all right?”
Somehow, it had felt better when he was chuckling at her silly outburst. His being nice to her, not knowing how ugly she was inside, wanting him so much when he belonged to a loving wife, mother of his child… His kindness was far, far more painful than his derision. She only deserved the latter.