Virgin River (Virgin River #1)(37)

She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “I thought about taking her,” she said. “Running away with her. That’s how crazy I am. Jack, you should know—I’m totally nuts.”

He wiped the tears from her cheeks. “If you want her, Mel, you can try to adopt her.”

“The Andersons,” she said. “Doc says they’re good people. A good family.”

“They are. Salt of the earth.”

“And that would be better for her than a single mother who works all the time,” she said. “She needs a real bed, not this incubator. A real family, not a midwife and an old doctor.”

“There are lots of different kinds of families.”

“Oh, I know what’s best.” Then the tears began to flow again. “It’s just so hard.” And she laid her head back on his shoulder. His arms tightened around her and hers tightened around his neck. He closed his eyes and just rested his cheek against her hair.

Feeling these strong arms around her, Mel let herself sink into a good, heartfelt cry. She was fully aware of him, but what really mattered to her at the moment was that for the first time in almost a year of crying, she wasn’t alone. Someone was holding her and she felt protected. There was the comfort of strength and warmth, and she welcomed it. His chambray shirt was soft against her cheek and his thighs hard beneath her. He had a wonderful scent of cologne and the outdoors and she felt safe with him. His hand stroked her back and she was aware that he softly kissed her hair.

He rocked her gently as she continued to dampen his shirt. Minutes passed and her weeping slowed to a sniffle, then a murmur. She lifted her head and looked at him, though she said nothing. His brain went numb. He touched her lips softly with his, gently, tentatively. Her eyes closed as she allowed this and his arms tightened around her as he pressed more firmly against her lips. Hers opened and his breath caught as he opened his own and felt her small tongue dart into his mouth. His world reeled and he was lost in a kiss that deepened, that moved him, that shook him.

“Don’t,” she whispered against his mouth. “Don’t get mixed up with me, Jack.”

He kissed her again, holding her against him as though he would never let her go. “Don’t worry about me,” he said against her lips.

“You don’t understand. I have nothing to give. Nothing.”

“I haven’t asked you for a thing,” he said. But in his mind he was saying, you’re mistaken. You are giving, and taking—and it feels damn good.

All Mel could think, in the abstract, was that her body for once wasn’t hollow and so empty she ached. She drank it in, the feeling of being connected to something. To someone. Anchored. So wonderful to have that human contact again. In her soul she had forgotten how, but her body remembered. “You’re a good man, Jack,” she said against his lips. “I don’t want you to be hurt. Because I can’t love anyone.”

All he said was, “I can take care of myself.”

She kissed him again. Deeply. Passionately. For a long minute; two minutes, moving under his mouth with heat.

And the baby fussed.

She pulled away from him. “Oh, man, why’d I do that?” she asked. “That’s a mistake.”

He shrugged. “Mistake? Nah. We’re friends,” he said. “We’re close. You needed some comfort and—and here I am.”

“That just can’t happen,” she said, sounding a little desperate.

He took charge, feeling his own sense of desperation. “Mel, stop it. You were crying. That’s all.”

“I was kissing,” she said. “And so were you!”

He smiled at her. “You are so hard on yourself sometimes. It’s okay to feel something that doesn’t hurt once in a while.”

“Promise me that won’t happen again!”

“It won’t if you don’t want it to. But let me tell you something—if you do want it to, I’m going to let you. You know why? Because I like kissing. And I don’t beat myself up about it.”

“I’m not doing that,” she said. “I just don’t want to be stupid.”

“You’re punishing yourself. I can’t figure out why. But,” he said, lifting her off his lap and putting her on her feet. “You get to call the shots. Personally, I think you secretly like me. Trust me. And I think for a minute there, you also liked kissing me.” He grinned at her. “I could tell. I’m so smart that way.”

“You’re just desperate for a little female companionship,” she said.

“Oh, there are females around. That has nothing to do with anything.”

“Still—you have to promise.”

“Sure,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I need.”

He stood up and looked down at her. He had warned himself of this and stupidly ignored his own warnings. He had to renew that trust. Fast. He lifted her chin with a finger and looked into her pretty, sad eyes. “Would you like me to take you and Chloe to the Anderson ranch? If I promise not to kiss you anymore?”

“Would you?” she said. “I want to take her, to see where she’ll live. And I don’t think I want to be alone.”



Jack knew it was imperative that Mel regain her sense of control. He went back to the bar to get his truck and poked his head in. “Doc, I’m going to drive Mel and the baby out to Andersons’. You okay with that?”