Virgin River (Virgin River #1)(103)

“That wasn’t going to happen, not under the circumstances. It never would have occurred to you to try for a baby—convinced it was impossible. So—maybe it’s a good thing it just happened like this.”

“And what if it had gone the other way? What if I told you the thing I wanted most in the world was a baby, asked you to try for one with me?”

He pulled her a little closer. “I’d have been happy to help out.” Then he smiled into her eyes.

“I don’t know what to say. You just accept everything. You’re amazing. I thought you might be very pissed.”

“Nah. The only thing that disappoints me is that it took me this long to find you.”

“Even with all my baggage?” she asked.

“I don’t consider this baggage.” He leaned over and kissed her belly. “I consider this the grand prize.”

“You want it?” she asked.

“I told you,” he said. “I want it. It makes me happy.”

“God,” she said in a breath. “I was afraid.”

“Of?”

“Of you saying, ‘Holy shit—I’m forty! What do I want with a baby?’”

He laughed at her. “I didn’t say that, did I? Nah, I’m ready. A family sounds good.”

“Jack,” she said. “I’m still afraid.”

“Of?”

“Of believing in us. My last stab at something like this ended so, so badly. I thought I’d never get over it. I’m not sure I am yet.”

“Well, you’re just going to have to take a leap of faith,” he said.

“I think I can do that,” she said. “If you’re there to catch me.”

“I’m here,” he said. “I haven’t let you down yet, have I?”

She put her hand against his face. “No, Jack. You sure haven’t.”



Jack had seen his brothers-in-law, all puffed up with testosterone pride when they’d gotten their wives pregnant, when the babies came. He never pretended to really understand it. He was too busy with his career, with his troops, when it seemed to him a woman getting pregnant was probably the worst career suicide a man could suffer. He didn’t get their male egos; he thought his sisters were just getting fat and mean.

He got it now. He felt as though his chest might explode. There was a fire in his belly and it was all he could do to keep from running up a flag. He couldn’t wait until he and Mel could make some plans, get married, tell the world they were lifetime partners and bringing a baby on board.

She shooed him out of the cabin, told him to go take care of the dinner crowd while she showered off that long night with a patient. She promised to drive into town to have a diet cola at the bar and tell those present that Anne and Jeremy and their baby boy were doing fine. Then later, they’d go back home together.

He was almost to town when he turned around to go back. Preacher might get testy, being stuck with the bar and cooking, too, but he just had to hold her for a minute more. He tiptoed up the porch steps, took off his boots, and silently opened the door. He expected to hear the shower running, but instead he heard her weeping.

“I’m sorry,” she was saying through her tears. “I’m so, so sorry.” Then she sobbed briefly. “I never planned this. Oh, Mark, please understand…”

He stole a peek into the bedroom and saw Mel sitting on the edge of her bed, talking to the picture of her dead husband. It cut through him like a knife; damn near ripped his heart out.

“Please understand—this was the last thing I expected,” she cried. “It’s just the way it happened, and it took me by surprise. Total surprise. I promise I’ll never forget you!”

He cleared his throat and she jumped. She looked at him, tears running down her cheeks. “Jack!” she gasped.

He held up a hand. “I’ll go,” he said. “You can work this out with Mark. I’ll see you later.”

He turned to leave and she ran after him, tugging on his shirt. “Jack, please…”

“It’s okay, Mel,” he said, profound sadness showing in his eyes. He forced a smile. “It’s not as if I didn’t know what I was up against.”

“No! You don’t understand!”

“Sure I do,” he said, tenderly touching her cheek. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere. Except back to the bar. I think I need a drink.”

Jack walked out of the cabin, collected his boots on her porch and got back into his truck. So, he thought. Probably the best day of my life, turned to total shit. She’s still back there, with him. She can love you like she’s yours, but she’s not. Not yet.

Hadn’t he always known this was the risk he was taking, as long as he loved her? That she might not be able to let go of him? Ever?

What the hell, he told himself. She might never really belong to me; good thing he can’t come back from the grave and snatch her away. But that baby is mine. And I want it. I want her. Whatever she has to spare…





Fifteen




Mel showered, put on clean clothes and prepared to go to the bar to take her medicine. She felt terrible; her heart ached when she thought of the look in Jack’s eyes. He never should have witnessed that performance. It must have shattered him. She could only hope he would forgive her.