Very Bad Things (Briarcrest Academy #1)(50)

It. Broke. Me.

I stood there stunned, scanning my eyes over her mussed hair and inside out shirt. I closed my eyes, wishing I could scrub the memory from my brain. And as the truth of it sunk in, that he had been with her right after kissing me, I felt demolished, like a bus that I’d never seen coming had collided with me. Bam!

I wanted to make myself disappear and pretend it had never happened. I didn’t want to remember the way her lips had clung to his, the way he’d kissed her back.

Our kiss had meant nothing to him.

When I opened my eyes, they were facing me, and Tiffani was staring, a satisfied smile on her face. “Oh! I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were back already,” she giggled, her eyes dancing.

I licked my lips and tried to catch my breath, feeling physically winded. I pressed my hand to my chest to rub away the pain that had settled there. I wanted to say something smart, but I couldn’t find my voice, and it felt a lot like when I was up on stage at the open house. Like the spotlight was on me, and I was losing it. Like there was a hush in the room, and all eyes were on me. But this wasn’t a panic attack; no, this was only my heart being shattered into a million tiny pieces, and I imagined that if I could hear it, it would sound a lot like Mother’s china as I’d smashed it. I swallowed and somehow managed to laugh, but it came out mangled.

Leo spoke. “Nora?”

I found my voice, barely, and it came out dull and lifeless. “Sorry, I didn’t . . . I didn’t mean to interrupt your after-you’ve-f*cked goodbye kiss.”

She gasped and turned to look at an ashen-faced Leo, like she expected him to chastise me, but he was frozen, his jaw clenched tight as he stared at my face.

Numb, like I was on auto-pilot, I left them and went into Sebastian’s room. I rummaged through his clothes crazily, my eyes not really seeing the contents. All I could see was him kissing her, holding her. I found some old shorts and a shirt, so I took off my ruined dress and slipped into them.

Leo barged in the room.

“Can’t you knock, please?” I asked him, turning away and straightening my shirt.

“Like I haven’t seen you undressed before,” he said, shutting the door. His eyes roamed over me, his gaze landing on my now scabbed over elbows. “What the hell happened to you?” he demanded, striding over and reaching out for my arms.

I came to life, jerking away from him. “Don’t! Just don’t. If you touch me right now, I think I’ll be sick,” I said.

He visibly winced and stepped back. I wondered where Tiffani was. Had she left?

I picked up a brush from Sebastian’s dresser and attacked my hair, not noticing if the braid got out or not. My eyes were open, but my brain wasn’t processing. I was holding it all back, trying not to feel, trying to not let him see my anguish. I set the brush down and just stood there looking at myself in the mirror. Through the mirror, I saw Leo with his back against the wall, arms crossed, watching me. His body looked drawn up and tight, like he was barely holding himself in check. His sharp gaze kept trying to capture mine, but I’d look away. He’d avoided my eyes all night, and now he wanted to have a stare down? No.

He pushed off the wall and started pacing around the bedroom. “Listen, I’m sorry you saw that. You didn’t deserve it, especially after the kiss we had. But you and I . . . you have to understand, we can’t be together,” he said, stopping and standing behind me.

I checked my teeth in the mirror. I practiced my fake smile. I practiced it again and again. I counted the seconds down in my head.

“Nora, quit primping and say something. Anything,” he pleaded, coming closer to me. “Don’t ignore me.”

Falling for someone can be a lot like playing roulette. You don’t know what will happen when you place that bet, but you take a deep breath anyway and put all the chips out there. And when the ball spins around and around, you pray it lands on your number. Probability says you’ll likely loose, and in this game of love with Leo, odds were I would lose, too, but I had to try.

I was going all in.

I stared at him through the mirror. “Leo, I know it’s unexplainable because I barely know you, but being with you makes me feel good inside and happy. I’ve never had that. When I see you, I feel like I’m home. Like we’re pieces of a puzzle that have finally come together. And . . . and I think being happy isn’t about the big moments, like when you graduate from college or get that job you’ve been wanting. It’s the small moments that take your breath away and make you truly happy, like the first time you see your newborn’s face or . . . or when you meet someone who could be your soulmate.”

“What are you saying?” he whispered in a strained voice, breathing hard, like he was winded, too.

I turned to face him, trembling. “I shouldn’t have painted your car. I shouldn’t have stripped for you. And, I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted me back. No one does. So yeah, maybe I am a mess, but I do know one thing for certain. I want more little happy moments. I’m greedy for them. I want them over and over . . . and . . . I’m not going to get them from you am I?”

He paled, giving me his answer.

He was my Prince Charming, but I wasn’t his Cinderella.

He strode over and stood close to me, until we were almost touching. He cradled my cheek in his hand. Like he cared.

I stepped away and wiped my face where he’d touched it. “Don’t act like you care when you don’t. Because if you did, you’d never have kissed me tonight and then turned around and been with her. Just leave me alone and stay out of my business. For good.”