Vanquished (The Encounter #3)(50)
Each word spoken echoed in my mind. After he had stated the last sentence, I had to reiterate it a few more times just to assimilate its meaning. And when I did, it hit me like a tsunami. Helpless, I was drowned by its powerful current. It was insurmountable. The helpless mixture of pain, overwhelming sadness, betrayal, and the list went on.
“My father … the man who … No wonder he hates me.” I sobbed, crying for the unrequited love I’d had for him as a child but never gotten back from a parent. I cried for all the pain and suffering he had caused my mother, punishing her and never letting up until the very end because of that one night that she had made a mistake.
All this time, I had thought him despicable for treating his own daughter in such a horrid way when it was simply because I wasn’t his flesh and blood. It all made sense, yet instead of feeling relief that I wasn’t related to the blasted man, I was ravaged with unstoppable tears and inconsolable sadness.
“Let it all out, my love,” Hugo whispered as he kissed my temple, holding me close while I cried against the side of his neck, washing away all of the awful memories of my childhood.
Slightly recovering, I sniffed, lifting my face to look at him. “So I guess, from what I understand, I’m the daughter of this guy, the same man who killed Louise and your uncle … and all of them. Is that right?”
He made a solemn nod before rasping out, “Yes, that’s right.”
“What does he want … from me?” The very thought of a man much worse, much more demonic than Constantin, made me want to vomit, but I must know the facts first.
He took a lungful of air, hissing it back out through his teeth before gazing back at me. “He wants to get to know you on your terms, and I vowed to be the go-between person, like an arbitrator of some sort in case if you don’t want to directly speak to him. This was the deal we both agreed upon so he can fully let his grudge go against me and my family, and our unborn children.”
Jesus. Get to know me? Why? Was that a f*cking joke?
“What does he want from me, Hugo? I have nothing to give him, and quite honestly, I’m done being a pawn. If he thinks I’m willing to play the game with him, he should think again.”
“Not all men are like Constantin Callas, Isobel. It sounds odd coming from me since Benedikt has caused so much pain in my family. But when I saw and spoke to him a few days ago, I saw genuine pain in his eyes, the pain of never knowing what his daughter was like.”
He held my hand, as if to give me his strength. “This man thought he was never going to know how it feels to have a child of his own. I know you don’t owe him anything, but I’m begging you, for the sake of our future and our children, please reconsider. And if not, I’m sure I could figure out another way to fix this.”
It was brave of him to even say that I had the option to not follow through with meeting Benedikt. I wasn’t going to do that to him or us. But I had a lot of reservations. Most of all, I was riddled with a lot of questions.
“I’m going to need time to figure this out, but I will eventually meet him, Hugo. I will do that.”
“Thank you,” he whispered. “You can set the when and where after you’ve given birth and not a moment before. He understands, although I have to give him updates about your welfare. He even has his spies making sure I treat you right. So I suppose he couldn’t call it off, not all of it. In an odd sense, he cares how you are doing.”
Why should he? He didn’t even know me. Alas, I didn’t waste my breath on asking. My life had spun out of control, and I was simply relieved it was slowing down, even though not to the extent I had envisioned it … with my real father being a vengeful murderer and a vicious breed of barbarism. What a bloody thing to behold. How did I even begin to explain my family history to my children?
Holding my hand against my small baby bump, I promised never to hurt them the way my parents had hurt me. I would protect them until death and never fail to make it known that they were loved. At the end of the day, that was what all kids wanted from their parents, simply to know they were cherished and loved no matter what. I knew this because it was all I had prayed and wished for all my life.
The tears commenced, and I wasn’t sure how long that went on. All I knew was that I had to let it go. I had to let go of all this hate, all this pain that held me back, rotting my heart for so long. I hadn’t forgiven Constantin for what he had done to me, but at least I now understood the motivation behind his cruelty, his indifference.
“Cry for the past that you never had. Let it all out because there will be no tears of sadness in your future. As long as I’m with you, I promise to love you until you’re old and frail, until you get sick of me—well, even then, I’ll still be here, right next to you, holding you close, loving you until the end.”
Yes … until the very end.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Months later…
Hugo
Two sets of feet. Two sets of teeny tiny hands. Heavenly cherub cheeks. We welcomed our beautiful babies, naming one after my good friend Julien and one Vivienne.
Isobel had to go through C-section. Because of her small frame, she hadn’t been able to do natural labor.
The past month and a half had been such a blessing. I had hired help, but Isobel was adamant she wanted to care for them by herself, so the hired nannies were simply on baby watch, making sure they were soundly sleeping and both nappies were clean. After fastidiously doing it for four weeks straight, it became apparent how much weight Isobel had lost, and I had to put my foot down and insist she take the help that was hired specifically so that she could rest. Her body had gone through so much, and then she took on much more afterwards without rest, so I knew I had to do something.