Vanquished (The Encounter #3)(40)
After we hung up, I wasn’t much surprised that he didn’t press on the subject as to what we would be discussing. He already knew that I was aware of what the bloody hell was going on. I was hoping this would be resolved without going bonkers.
The very thought of the woman I loved playing family with Julien and my children was causing havoc to my brain. Being understandable was an understatement, yet I had to make sure that I became a part of this, or I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. This was about their future, and I had to swallow the hurt, the pride, and sadness and man up for their sakes.
The sickening yearn that had followed through each time I thought about the twins made me want to punch a wall. As much as I had taught myself over the years that I didn’t want children, I had secretly envisioned what it would be like to raise one of my own, and now the privilege would be passed to Julien.
Knowing how jealous I could be, I would stay away. Otherwise, I would lose it. I wasn’t sure if I would be capable of withstanding the pain while I timidly smiled and pretended I was merely a family friend. There would be no point in living after this mess; I was sure of it.
Each passing second that ticked by, I could feel life slowly dying inside of my heart, my soul. I was being eaten alive, and I didn’t have a chance of winning this battle over my heart.
“Hugo?” Isobel’s gentle voice echoed in the kitchen where I had been stuck since the early morning, nursing an untouched coffee that had already gone cold.
Pasting on a weak smile, I swiveled in my seat to face her loving face, a face that I would forever etch in my heart, in my memories. “Are you feeling better, ma chère?” I asked.
She gave me a small nod. She had been feeling ill again after we had made love, which she instantly informed me that it was common in the morning during pregnancy. Feeling distraught as she shooed me out of the bathroom, I had decided to call Julien, a meeting I had yet to discuss with her.
Feeling helplessly in love with her, I reached around her robed body and slowly pulled her close to me, cradling her languid body on my lap, never wanting to let go. “Julien is on his way here. I think it’d be best if we all sit and discuss this as quietly as possible without being seen in the city.”
She gave a melancholy sigh. “I would’ve run away with you. Know that, every time I close my eyes, I’ll think of you. I will never stop loving you. You’re a part of me.” She took my hand and placed it against her heart. “As long as this beats, it will always be yours. I loved you then, and I love you now. Nothing compares. I’m always going to be yours. Forever will I always be yours.”
I was so embroiled with heightened emotions that I was rendered speechless. Wasted love—that was what it was. But for her and the twins, I promised to pull this together until she was secured in her marriage. For the time being, I simply wanted to hold her, cherish her, and kiss her until Julien arrived.
My worries, my pain, and all of my unadulterated love were channeled into each kiss, into each touch. This was what I needed … her … just Isobel.
It wasn’t as though we had run out of words to say to each other. It was because words, I believed, would simply cheapen our time together. We remained vigilant as we savored each other in an emotionally painful yet calming embrace.
Beno?t came simply to inform me that everything was set; the entire house was swept for bugs and was being patrolled with even more detailed security cameras than were previously available. Everything was being triple-checked, updated, and it was being made sure nothing could get past the impeccable state of the art security and high-trained men guarding the compound.
As much as I would like to freeze time, Julien arrived a little over an hour later, calmly breezing in when Beno?t ushered him inside the house. My expectations weren’t matched because I had at least thought he would be ready to smash my head in, but the bloody man did otherwise. He came in all serious and business-like, taking in the situation as a man would before a battle.
I learned Julien had already had plans to break the news in tabloids, feeding gossip rags that he might be engaged soon, so he was hoping that planting a seed should be enough to fuel the fire of the impending marriage. We discussed appearances and agreed that they had to marry before Isobel gave birth so the possibility of hiding the real birth date would be much more feasible since we didn’t want people to suspect anything that should be linked directly to me.
After a couple of hours hashing out details as to how we should implement this, we all agreed that, for them to be a believable love affair, I would have to distance myself and not associate with Julien any longer. It was too risky, and we needed the public to feel as though Julien and Isobel’s rebellious, raunchy affair was as authentic as possible.
With all the details agreed upon, Isobel seemed dreary and out of sorts as she planted a kiss on Julien’s cheek and thanked him for everything. The very sight of her doing anything remotely intimate with him almost made me jump to my feet and yank her back in my arms. Much to my relief, however, my beloved spun to face me and lovingly kissed me then planted a sweet kiss on my forehead and gave me a full warning.
“I have to rest. I’ll join you boys after my nap. Be nice, mon cher. He’s our friend.” Had she not said that, I would have uttered something spiteful the moment she had left the kitchen, but her sweet gesture made me relax. Somehow, it was all I needed to feel secure that I truly was the man she loved.