Vanquished (The Encounter #3)(22)

And just like that, my life spun into something I couldn’t control any longer. I could have stood my ground, but that was a risk I wasn’t willing to bet upon, not at the cost of my children. The game had changed, and as much as I wasn’t willing to admit it, my fate was in Julien’s hands. All it took was making one decision, and it resulted in something I couldn’t even begin to comprehend—a lifelong path that was filled with smoke and mirrors with the truth buried deep within, out of reach, out of sight.

It was frightening to think how fast things had progressed. In a matter of weeks, so much had happened in my life. At this rate, God knew what was in store for me in a month’s time, in six months, in a year … Everything was becoming so unpredictable. The tides were changing, and I had to go along with it, or the consequences were too high to comprehend.

+++

I spent the following day walking in Central Park—well, it was less walking and more sitting and watching people going about their business. It was relaxing to be surrounded by the sounds of a busy city while enjoying the beautiful nature around me.

Both security persons, Paul and John, were following me like shadows of course. There was no resemblance at all, but I liked to call them The Beatles. I hadn’t outright told them this, but in my head, I always referenced them as such, which never failed to make me smile. Maybe it was because they were so terse and needed a laugh that I had come up with such absurdity. They were a decent lot, and I appreciated their tolerance of my oddness.

As the days went by, Julien’s idea gradually sunk in. We would pretend that we were in a relationship before we would get to the next phase—marriage. If that weren’t daunting enough, I hadn’t a clue what the inner workings of this marriage would be like.

Would we share a bed? And if so, was I going to engage in sexual relations with him, or did he have another way to sort that predicament out by having a mistress on the side? I couldn’t care less about the latter part since this wasn’t a marriage made out of love but out of convenience. At the same time, I would very much appreciate it if I was told beforehand whether he planned to acquire one. It would make everything easier if we were forthright about such trivial matters. If Julien didn’t plan to broach the subject, then I wouldn’t mind bringing this to his attention when the appropriate time came.

That aside, my morning sickness would come and go. It was still a dreadful thing to deal with, but as the doctor had promised, it would eventually subside as the pregnancy developed.

Miami came soon enough, and much to my delight, the sunny city was the polar opposite of New York. In retrospect, as much as I adored people bustling about in their tailored suits and their designer ensembles, I appreciated the change of pace from the hectic ambiance of New York to this lax, leisurely environment. Then again, I was amazed at how much tanned skin, enlarged breasts, and firm bottoms were on display, making me feel as though my slender form and subtle curves were not good enough.

For a Greek woman, it was one of my insecurities. Growing up in that culture where most women were born with such abundance naturally, I had been taunted and ridiculed by my cousins and relatives that I might not be woman enough to bear children when I came of age, because I didn’t have the hips to secure one, or the fact that men wouldn’t find my boyish body attractive. At the age of seventeen, I had still been developing, but that idea was lost on them, it seemed. Instead of lashing out, I learned the skill of staying mum. Of course, I steeled myself against scornful comments, but as time went on, it chipped away at my self-esteem.

My insecurities were generously relieved when Damen came into my life. He shifted my views by showing me I was my own woman, and being unique was something to be proud of instead of something I should hide from the hateful world that would love nothing more than to see how much their words affected one’s mind and body. I realized that, if I gave them the power to influence me, then those hateful people would win, so from then on, I ignored whoever had nothing nice to say about my body. However, when Julien invited me to explore the beach scene and take on some sun, I allowed all those insecurities to creep back up on me.

Instead of wearing swimwear underneath my flowy, knee-length sundress, I opted out of it in fear that I might stand out amidst a sea of enlarged everything.

“I would’ve imagined you’d be delighted to go for a quick swim,” Julien commented as he frowned at my dress while we walked side by side, emerging onto the hotel’s veranda that overlooked the sprawling pool adorned with black and white striped loungers and cabanas, manifesting the ultimate impression of a stamping ground catering only to the rich and famous. A few minutes’ walk past the pool area was the beach and the lush garden to the opposing side.

Slightly cocking my head to look at Julien’s striking facial features, I realized he was one handsome man if I didn’t compare him to Hugo. It was still surreal strolling about with him as if we hadn’t had a care in the world, yet each time I gazed at him, my mind instantly reverted to the idea that I would soon wed this man. Then images of Hugo Xavier would attack my guilty conscience.

Shaking my head as if to rid of my odd sense of thinking, I reverted back to reality, recalling his question before my mind had wandered off to Hugo.

“Maybe some other time. Feeling bloated and pregnant whilst donning a two-piece doesn’t seem to go hand in hand in my mind at the moment, not when I’m surrounded by embodiments of perfection.”