Vanish (Firelight #2)(59)

I open my mouth to deny this, but can’t. I can’t say the words, can’t insist that Cassian and I are in love. Saying those words, with Will in my heart . . . I just can’t. Whether it’s good for me or not. Instead I growl, “Get away from me.”

“I’d see it in your eyes. He’d be a part of you. But you’re the same. Unchanged.”

It’s strange, but I almost hope he’s right.

His eyes glint, flash down at me. “Still untouched.” He smiles then, a cruel twist of his lips. “Which means there’s still a chance for us.”

I snort. “You’re crazy.”

“Keep telling yourself that. Only I know the truth, and soon everyone else will, too. If I have to singlehandedly make them see it. I’ll prove it. And then I’ll be there to do what my cousin is too much of a coward to do.”

I can’t breathe as I stare up into his face. If I didn’t know I needed to get away—far away—this would only confirm it. Corbin is crazy enough to do just what he says.

He inches his head closer . . . like he’s actually going to kiss me. “I’ll still claim you.”

I don’t think. Just react. I part my lips and release the burn that froths at my core, making my skin contract and snap fiercely.

Steam pours from my lips in a thin ribbon. Satisfaction swells inside me as the hot vapor scalds him. He howls, clutching the right side of his face. I seize my opportunity and squeeze out from between him and the tree.

I run the rest of the way to Nidia’s, his shouts chasing after me.

“It’s you and me, Jacinda. I’m going to own you! You can’t run forever!”

I jerk to a hard stop at Nidia’s door and resist the urge to pound the wood with my fist. It’s still early. No sense beating the door as if wild wolves were chasing me.

I rest one hand against the door, the other to my heart, gathering my breath. When the door pulls opens, I stop just short of falling forward.

Tamra stands there, her red-rimmed eyes inscrutable, but I know she’s hurting as much as I am.

“Let’s run away,” I blurt. Just like that. No easing in, no working up to it.

Holding my breath, I wait and hope I’m not off base to think she’ll even consider the risky venture. That she’ll even want to surrender her newfound status with the pride. It feels like forever as I wait for her to answer me, to speak, to say anything.

“How soon can we leave?”

I release a ragged breath, almost weep from the relief—and then I realize the tricky part is still left. I have to explain Will.

I glance over my shoulder, making sure Corbin is gone, and then I turn around and glance pointedly inside the house. Tamra quickly motions me in and leads me to her room—what was once Nidia’s spare room. The bedroom doesn’t bear her mark yet. She’s transferred very little from her old room at our house into it. Even Nidia’s sewing table still occupies one side.

I sit on the unmade bed, the covers a wild tangle beneath me.

She closes the door softly. “So how are we going to do this?”

I brace myself and meet her gaze and say the one word that should explain it all. “Will.”

She stares at me for several moments and then asks in a surprisingly even voice. “Have you been seeing him?”

I nod.

“The day Miram and you . . .” Her voice fades. Sucking in a breath, she asks what I’ve been dreading, “Were you meeting Will then?”

Again, I nod. She sighs, and the sound is tired.

“I left you and Mom notes, but Miram took them, and she followed me. Then the hunters came. . . .”

She shakes her head.

“Are you very angry?” I ask quietly.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’m so tired. Tired of being mad. I just want to leave here. Find Mom and never come back.” The pain in her voice makes me feel even worse. Because I put it there. At least partly. And because I can’t promise her peace. At least not yet.

“There’s something I have to do before we can find Mom. I was hoping you would help me.” With her particular talent, Tamra’s assistance could be the difference between life and death.

Wariness fills her smoky gaze. “What?”

“I’m going to rescue Miram.” And then I’d be square with the pride. With Cassian. With myself.

Her eyes widen. “Miram? But isn’t she with the enkros?”

I nod. “But they won’t have killed her yet. I don’t think. Not for a while. They’ll want to do some”—I shy from the foulness of the word experimenting and substitute—“observing.”

“So you think you can just march into wherever they have her and ask nicely for them to hand her over?”

I angle my head and say slowly, “No, but I think I can bust her out. With Will’s help. And yours. I owe her that.” And Cassian, I can’t help thinking.

“You owe her? Miram? She’s never been anything but a jerk.”

“She never would have been taken if I hadn’t been out there waiting for Will.”

Tamra digests this, looking me over appraisingly.

“Look,” I say, “let’s just make it to their stronghold, check it out . . . and then we’ll see.” I bite my lip, hoping she can’t read my thoughts. That once I have the enkros stronghold in sight, I’m going in. No way I’m backing out. I’m getting Miram free . . . and I just might do a little damage in the process. My blood warms at this, and I feel stronger, fortified. The idea of taking the entire operation down gives me a decided rush.