Vanish (Firelight #2)(17)

Miram appears, carrying a stack of books. She stops when she sees me, her face revealing nothing. Naturally. “What are you doing here?” Her lips, very nearly the same color as her strangely neutral skin, barely move.

“I work here. At least I thought I did.”

“You thought wrong. Lots of things have changed since you left.”

I’m beginning to see just how many.

Taya looks back and forth between Miram and me. This is probably more conversation than she gets in a week. With a faint smile and shrug of apology that lacks any real regret, she returns to her work.

Miram waves her fingers at me. “Good-bye.”

Without a word, I turn and head out the door, walk past the school, ignoring the stares, the indiscreet whispers, and pointing fingers.

I’m almost to the meeting hall when something hits me in the head. I stagger, clutch my face, more stunned than hurt. It’s a ball.

There’s a burst of laughter, and a shouted taunt followed by children’s feet scampering away. Heat flares through me, spreading from the inside out. It hadn’t been an accident.

Tears burn and prick at my eyes, which makes me furious. I loathe this weakness—that I would crumble over a child’s prank. I lean against the short stone wall edging the meeting hall, taking a moment to reclaim my composure. I will not cry.

It’s hard sought. As the throbbing in my cheek really penetrates, really begins to smart, the steam builds in me.

Closing my eyes, I sip air, cooling my lungs. It’s a dangerous feeling, this anger, this building fire inside me that wants to unleash itself. And not just because some kids hit me with a ball. It’s everything. Az ignoring me. Getting rebuffed by Taya . . . I always thought she liked me. I sniff and rub at my burning nose.

I should expect no less. It’s no less than I deserve. These children playing in the streets—I put them in danger. I can’t ever forget that.

Still, Will’s face rises in my mind. His changeable eyes so clear, so tender as he gazes at me. I see him so well just then that my chest clenches, the ache terrible and fierce. Longing overwhelms me. For the deep sound of his voice rolling through me. For the way he made me feel. Not like I am now. A useless creature, deserving of contempt and ridicule.





Chapter 7

“Well, let’s see what we have available right now, shall we?” Jabel clicks at her keyboard and peers at her monitor, and I decide it’s not in my imagination that she treats me with decidedly less warmth than before. Expected, I suppose, but still ironic considering that a little more than a month ago she invited me to every family gathering she hosted, plying me with food and drink and sitting me between Corbin and Cassian. Her son and her nephew. One way or another, she would have the fire-breather in her family. I’ve always known this was her goal.

I stand in front of her desk and try not to fidget. She’s not looking at me right now, and for that I’m glad. I always avoid her gaze. Even though hypnos draki are unable to use their talent on fellow draki, I feel like she can get inside my head anyway, whispering her words, trying to influence my actions.

A deep rumble of voices flows from the office behind her. Severin, I’m sure. In there with the elders. At least I don’t have to see him. Or worse—I don’t have to endure some remark about losing my duty being the least of what I deserve.

“Ah, here we have something.”

I nod, eager to leave.

Grabbing a slip of paper, she starts scrawling, saying, “There’s always room on the gutting crew. I’m putting you down for Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Those are big hunting and fishing days. They can use an extra hand then.”

My stomach lurches. The gutting crew? I must have made a sound because Jabel gives me a sharp look. “Too good to skin and gut the food that keeps us fed?”

I shake my head, but I’m sure the motion is slow, unconvincing. “No, but . . . is there nothing else available?”

She snaps her gaze back to the paper and signs her name with a flourish. Ripping it from the pad, she hands it to me. “Take this with you when you report in.”

I take the slip and exit the office, wondering whether I should have said anything at all about needing a new duty. Would anyone even notice if I went without one for a while?

Other than children who throw balls at my head, everyone else has been doing a good job ignoring me, treating me like I’m invisible. Even my own best friend avoids me.

As though the mere thought conjures her, I spot Az as I descend the steps. I call her name and hurry to catch up with her. She shoots a quick glance over her shoulder before whipping around again.

I’m panting by the time I reach her. “Az, please, wait.”

“Why?” She keeps a brisk pace, staring straight ahead.

“C’mon, Az. I can handle lots of things, but not you being mad at me.”

“Really?” Her blue-black eyes flick to me. “I wouldn’t think that would matter.”

“Of course you matter to me.”

“Really?” She makes an ugly sound. “I do? I didn’t think anyone in this pride ranked over your human!” She stops now, fury sparking from her almond-shaped eyes. “When you showed yourself to him did you think of me at all? About any of us?”

I search her face, pleading. “Az, it wasn’t like that. Will is—”