Valorous(29)

“Don’t be.”

“I’ve made this about me, when it’s all about you.”

“Not anymore. Isn’t that what you said? It’s about us now.”

“Yes,” I whisper fiercely.

“I’ve thought about this, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“About what it would be like to tell the man I’ve fallen in love with what happened to me. I knew I’d have to someday, and I thought about how it would feel.”

“How does it feel?” I have to know.

“It’s freeing, actually, to share it with you, to no longer be alone with it the way I was for so long. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel free.” She adjusts the ice pack on my hand.

“You are free, Natalie, to have and be anything you want, but you have to let me help you. I need to help you. Let me pay off your loans so you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Let me take care of you until you figure out what’s next. You can’t ask me to be someone I’m not. I have more money than I can spend in a lifetime. Let me use what I have to make your life easier. This is who I am. This is how I love you—I need to take care of you.”

“You’re so sweet to want to do that for me.”

“I’m not being sweet,” I say in a low growl that makes her laugh.

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“We can agree to disagree on the sweetness. As for the loans… Let me think about it.”

“Okay.”

“Did we just have our first fight?”

“Fuck no. That wasn’t a fight. That was me behaving badly. When we fight, you won’t have to ask.”

She smiles and hovers above me, her lips a heartbeat away from mine. “I love you even when you think you’re behaving badly.”

“I did behave badly.”

“No, you showed me again how much you love me by making my pain yours, too.”

“I love you more than I’ll ever be able to show you.”

“I love you just as much.”

I bury my fingers in the damp mass of curls that frames her gorgeous face. “That makes me one lucky son of a bitch.”

“We’re both lucky. No matter what happens, no matter what’s already happened, we have each other. And that’s more than I’ve ever had before.”

“Me, too, baby.” I draw her into a soft, sweet kiss that’s all about love and affection. But then she runs her tongue over my bottom lip, and the fire ignites inside me. As if I’ve touched something too hot, I withdraw from her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m all wound up, sweetheart. It might be better if we just take a nap or something. If I touch you…”

“What? What would happen if you touch me?”

“I don’t know, and I’m afraid of that. You’re so incredibly precious to me. You have no idea how precious you are. I don’t trust myself to be gentle with you, and that’s what you need and deserve.”

“I need and deserve you.”

“Not like this.” The ice pack slides off my hand and hits the floor.

“Flynn.” She’s on her knees next to me.

I’m afraid to look at her because I always want her more than I want my next breath, but now… Now I want her desperately. I want to right every wrong that’s ever been done to her. I want to make every dream she’s ever had come true. More than anything, I want to make her mine in every possible way.

Her fingers find the hem of her T-shirt, and then she lifts it up and over her head, leaving her bare except for a tiny pair of silk panties.

My mouth goes dry, and every thought that doesn’t involve her exquisite beauty leaves my mind like water running down a drain. She’s a f*cking goddess, and for some reason that I may never fully understand, she loves me. She’s given me the incredible gift of her trust, which fills me with guilt over the things I continue to keep from her. I don’t deserve her. That’s never been in doubt, but I want her anyway.

“Tell me what to do. What do you want?”

She looks at me like I hung the moon, waiting for me to tell her what I want. If I told her what I really want—her complete and total submission—I’d lose her and rightfully so. So I tamp down those needs and reach for her, arranging her on top of me with only the thin silk of her panties between us. She gasps as she comes down on my hard cock.