Valorous(14)

“Sorry, sweetheart.”

Natalie leans her head against my shoulder as we’re driven to the airport by one of the security guys. Addie is riding in another car to give us some privacy. “You’re rigid with tension.”

Because driving is one of the few freedoms my fame affords me, I can’t stand being driven anywhere, but until we’re out of New York, I’m doing what’s necessary to ensure her safety. In light of her observation, I make an effort to relax even as my body hums with the kind of stress I’ve rarely experienced in my charmed life.

“Flynn…”

“What, honey?”

“I can feel you about to boil over.”

“I can’t help it. I feel like my skin is too tight for the rest of me or something.” I lack the words to properly convey what’s going on inside me. It seems, however, that the more wound up I get, the calmer she is. That said, I much prefer her serenity to the blank shock of the night before. I don’t ever want to see her like that again.

“I hate that you’re blaming yourself.”

“Can’t help it.”

“Are you doing everything within your power to deal with it?”

“You know it.”

“Then let it go and let the people who work for you do their jobs. You’ve done everything you possibly can for me and then some.” She wraps her arms around my right arm. “Aileen gave me some really good advice tonight.”

I squeeze her thigh. “What was that?”

“To remember I have my health and a man who’s crazy about me. At least I think he is…”

“You know he is.”

“She said we should enjoy this little escape from reality while we can and try to focus on all the positives.”

“She does make a good point.”

“It’s hard for me to see you so upset.”

“It’s hard for me to see your life upended because you got involved with me.”

“That’s not why my life was upended. It happened because someone I trusted got greedy.”

“Which wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t dragged you into my life.”

She surprises the shit out of me by moving Fluff to the seat next to her and removing her seat belt so she can crawl into my lap. Fluff is extremely put out by the disruption and growls to show her displeasure.

I want to growl with pleasure as Natalie straddles my lap and forces me to look at her. “May I say something and will you listen to me? Really listen and believe me when I tell you that if someone had told me I was going to lose my job, my home and my anonymity but that the trade-off was going to be the love of the most extraordinary man, I would choose love over everything else. Do you know how long it’s been since anyone has loved me?”

I wrap my arms around her and hug her as tightly as I can. “Christ, Nat.” I want to give her the stars, the moon, the entire universe—anything and everything I possibly can to make up for all the years she was so painfully alone.

“What you did for me tonight, bringing my kids to me, knowing how badly I needed to see them… No one has ever done anything like that for me before. I know you want to fix everything for me, but even you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. My cover’s been blown, and I’m going to have to figure out how to live with that. But knowing you’re here with me, that I don’t have to go through this alone… That’s huge. This could’ve happened at any time. Someone could’ve put two and two together with the girl who brought down the governor of Nebraska. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to go through this alone, without you and Addie and your army of people out for vengeance on my behalf. You’re already making everything better by calling in your army and just by being here and holding me and loving me.”

She brings me to my knees. She makes me want to be a better man so I’ll deserve every sweet inch of her and the trust she has placed in my hands. I hold her close to me, breathing in the addicting scent of her hair as it brushes against my face. For the first time since Addie sent the 911 message yesterday and I heard what was happening to Natalie, I take a deep breath and feel myself begin to relax ever so slightly.

That Natalie doesn’t blame me for what’s happened to her makes me the luckiest bastard on earth. Rather than pushing me away as I feared she would, she’s turned to me and pulled me closer. “I love you so much, Nat. More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”