Vain - Part One (Vain, #1)(18)

The almost comparison to another woman tears right through me. I rest my forehead against the sheet to temper my emotions. This isn't heavy. It's not serious. Don't take the shit he says to heart, Alexa. Don't let Brighton's * cheating ways ruin this for you.
"Alexa." Noah's voice cuts through my thoughts. "Look at me."
My head pops up and the end of the camera lens greets me. I hear the light tap of the shutter as he captures a steady stream of images of my face. "Noah," I whisper in mild protest.
"I'm going to say something to you…" he begins before he stops himself. "No." He pulls on my hands as a silent request to join him on the bed.  I acquiesce and crawl into his lap, his cock resting heavily on the sheet between his open legs.
"What?" I trail a path along the large tattoo on his shoulder with my finger. I study all his tattoos each and every time I set eyes on him but whenever I've asked what each design represents, he changes the subject. It's obvious that the art that adorns his body is personal, too personal to share with me.
"We're done today." The words are clipped, direct and final.
"I know." I look in the eyes, wondering if he feels the same sense of loss that I do knowing that I don’t have a reason to come back to his apartment after today.
His hands circle my body pulling me closer to him. "The work part is done," he clarifies. "The us part…do you want that to be done?"
Is he honestly asking me if I want to give him up? "You don't want it to be done?" I hadn't considered that anything between us would last beyond our photo sessions. I was a temporary distraction in his life and he was the same to me. It started out that way at least. Has it changed?
"Something happened." He sits up straighter adjusting my weight in his lap. "You know I use an agency to find women to find, right?"
It's a raw confession that doesn't shock me at all. I do know that. I assume that he has on the number on speed dial and that he requests the company of women on a very regular basis. I don't have any ridiculous fantasy that he'd ever come out of his structured, very safe cocoon for me or anyone else for that matter.
"Women with fake accents," I correct him as I glide my hand to the tattoo on his chest.
"I called for one a few days ago."
My stomach drops into free fall mode even though I know that it's his reality. Why is there a hint of pain attached to the words when they come out of his mouth? Why does the confirmation of it hold more meaning than just the abstract knowledge of it?
"I couldn't f*ck her." The chuckle that skirts the statement vibrates through his chest and into my body. "I actually told her that I needed to call her Alexa."
"You what?" I stifle my own giggle at the thought of him suggesting that to any woman.
"I was aching for you." I feel his cock spring to life beneath me. "It was the day after I f*cked you. I thought if I f*cked another woman, I'd wash it all away."
"Wash what away?" I know the answer. Ironically, it's exactly what I've been trying to do with Brighton.
"The need to have it again." His hand runs over my thigh and dives between my legs. "This again."
"You want to f*ck me again?" I slide deeper into his embrace.
"And again and again." His lips skirt over my bare shoulder. "I'm not going to stop f*cking you. I promise you that."
It was a promise that I was counting on. Maybe Noah Foster wasn't my rebound f*ck. Maybe he was where I was supposed to be all along.

Chapter 20

"Why are you going to New York?" Sadie stares at me as I try to cram yet another dress into my overnight bag. "You're just taking off without any explanation."
"I'm meeting a friend there." It wasn't entirely a lie. Noah had suggested that we travel separately. I tried to coax him into taking the train with me, but he shied away from the idea quickly. So it was going to be me, my overnight bag and a pile of magazines for the long ride from Boston to New York this afternoon.
"Do I know this friend?" Her brow cocks with the question. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Boy or girl?" I parrot back. "You spend way too much time with toddlers."
"Cory is smarter than most adults I know." Sadie's smile broadens at the mention of her four-year-old stepson's name. "If I had more details about this mystery trip you were taking, I might want to tag along."
"You need a break from the old ball and chain that is Hunter," I say jokingly. "I can't imagine what it's like being married to that man."
"It's heaven." She literally almost swoons.
I love how happy she is. I've secretly wished for my own happily-ever-after since I flew back from Paris four months ago to watch her and Hunter exchange vows. It was a simple, elegant wedding with just a few select friends. When I left Boston to jet back to Paris it was with a longing for a romance like Sadie's. Maybe that's why it was so easy for me to fall into Brighton's arms and bed. I want to be loved the same way she is.
"Did you pack enough condoms?" The sweet, innocent tone of her voice doesn't match the vulgarity of the question.
"Did you just ask me about condoms?" I rock back on my heels with laughter. "You're f*cking hilarious, Sadie." The last statement is meant to sound facetious in a good way.
"No one f*cks as much as you do, Alexa." The thin grin that she's trying unsuccessfully to hold over her lips is giving away her true intentions. "You better bring a few boxes with you."