VICTORIOUS (A Quantum Novel)(30)

“The honeymoon stage does wear off after a while,” Curt says with a smile.

I glance at my husband. “I don’t know if it will in our case.” I squeeze his arm, drawing a smile from him. “Flynn tells me there can be more, and I want it all. As long as I’m with him, I know I’ll be cared for and treasured and loved at every step along the way. I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone in my life.”

Flynn wraps his hand around mine and squeezes. “What’s your take, Doc? Will Natalie be okay if we proceed down this road?”

“PTSD in all its many forms can be a tricky thing. You think you’re fine, and then something happens, such as the thing with your hands on your wedding night, and it rears its ugly head. I’m reluctant to provide any assurances that Natalie will be totally fine. There are apt to be bumps, moments of genuine fear, flashbacks or even triggers that bring back the past trauma. That said, it seems that you have been able to get past these challenges before and may be able to do so in the future.”

“May be able to,” Flynn says. Trust him to home in on that one word. “What if Natalie can’t get past it?”

“Then I’d recommend that whatever activity caused the reaction be ceased immediately and possibly permanently.”

“But you’re not recommending we don’t try this at all?” Flynn asks.

“Natalie says she’s intrigued, curious, interested. Never once has she said she’s afraid. That’s important.”

“I’m not afraid.” I swallow hard, trying to suppress the memory of the dream that reopened old wounds. I know I should tell them both about the dream, but I’m so tired of revisiting the past. I want to move forward with my amazing husband. I want us to have everything we want and deserve. “I want to live fearlessly.”

“You see why I love her so damned much?” Flynn says softly.

“I do,” Curtis says, smiling. “I encourage you to live fearlessly, Natalie, but I also urge you to proceed cautiously. Baby steps. Ease your way into this a little at a time to see what works for you and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to use whatever word you’ve agreed upon that stops everything. And keep the lines of communication wide open. Talk about it afterward, what you liked and didn’t like, what you’d like to do again and what you wouldn’t. That’s going to be critical to ensuring a successful experiment.”

“We’re getting pretty good at the talking thing,” Flynn says, glancing at me.

I nod in agreement.

“That’s an excellent place to start,” Curt agrees. “I’d like you to check in with me, Natalie, perhaps weekly for a while, if that works for you.”

“Sure, that would be fine.”

“I’m only a phone call away if you should ever need me—day or night. Don’t hesitate to call.”

“Thank you so much, Curt.”

“Yes, thank you,” Flynn says, “and I’ll text you where to send your bill.”

“There’s no charge. It’s my pleasure to see you settled and so in love, Natalie. I can’t think of anyone who deserves that kind of happiness more than you.”

Flynn puts his arm around me and kisses my temple. “I couldn’t agree more.”

“Thanks again, Curt. I’ll call you next week.”

“I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”

Flynn pushes the button to end the connection. “He’s great and obviously very fond of you.”

“He got me through a nightmare.”

“For that, he shall always have my gratitude as well as yours.”

“Do you feel better now that we’ve spoken to him?”

“I feel less worried than I was.”

“Soooo… What now?”

Once again, he leans in close to me, his lips touching my ear. “Now, I need to do some work.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“But tonight at eight o’clock, I want you naked and on your knees at the foot of the bed. Your hands will be folded in your lap and your head down in submission as you wait for me to tell you what I want. Do you understand?”

My entire body heats as his words register. “I… Yes, I understand.”

“Today, I want you to reread our contract and go over every detail we negotiated so you’re reminded of what could happen later.”