VANGUARD(102)

“Nothing.” Then after a long silence, he sighed. “It is something I need to learn to deal with. You going away to dangerous places without me.”

“It’s not an unreasonable fear,” Sophie said. “I felt the same way when you went to Orlisia last year. I understand.” She drew closer to him, and he rested his head in her lap. “The therapist can help you cope with those feelings. He’s worked with the spouses of some of our field workers, helping them deal with their fears while their partners are away.”

“Is it wrong for me to wish from time to time that you had selected a more conventional profession?”

“No. Sometimes I wish it myself. But it’s what I do, and I love it.” She looked down at her iPhone without seeing it. “Although I don’t know how I will bear it the first time I’m away from you for a month or two. I don’t even like being away from you for a day. We’ll both have some adjusting to do.”

“You getting hurt or being in danger when I am not there to protect you…that is the worst fear in my heart.”

Sophie felt her throat constrict at Michael’s confession. How could she not relate to what he was saying after everything that had happened in the last year?

“I know.” She groped for his hand and squeezed it, willing her tears away. “It’s hard for me to imagine you being frightened about anything, big, strong man that you are.”

He grinned and kissed the back of her hand. “I feel similarly about you, even though you are a small, weak woman. You also rarely show fear. Tell me, mana mila, what do you fear most?”

“I don’t like spiders.”

“I know that,” he said, grinning, “for I have killed many for you over the years. But that is not what you fear most in life, is it?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” She suddenly felt very uneasy. Sophie knew exactly what she feared most, but she didn’t like the idea of sharing it with him.

“I cannot believe this!” He sat up in bed. He was naked, and the sight of his body distracted her. “Could this be true? You refusing to communicate? With me? I never thought I would see this day.” She slapped at him, but he dodged her hand.

“Michael,” she warned. He turned the full force of his eyes on her, and her heart turned over in her chest. “Oh, for God’s sake. My fear is not much different than yours. I’m most afraid that you’ll leave me. For someone tall, beautiful, and slender, like your model girlfriend you were photographed with.” The last statement came out a little more tartly than she intended, but telling him this made her feel vulnerable.

He started to laugh, which annoyed Sophie. He confesses his greatest fear to me, and I’m overwhelmed with empathy. I tell him mine and he laughs. Terrific. She looked back down at her phone, a flush creeping over her face. He fell silent, then tipped her face up to him.

“You are not making a joke, are you? You are serious. That really is what you fear.”

“Yes, it is.” She tugged her chin away. “You shouldn’t have made me tell. It’s embarrassing.” But as quickly as she pulled away, he came right back into her face.

“Mana mila, you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me.” He cupped her face in his hands and stared at her with alarming intensity. “I love you beyond words. I have told you this so many times. How is it that you do not know this?”

“I do know,” she protested. “But I do not understand. Look at you. You’re gorgeous. You could have anyone.”

“And I desire only you. I love only you. All other women pale in comparison to you. Beautiful. Brave. Smarter than anyone else I know.” He pulled her closer, pushing the newspapers off the bed. “One look at you, and I am lost. Feel.” He took her hand and slid it down under the covers where his body stirred. “This is what you do to me. All the time. You and you alone. Please, never think you are anything other than beautiful.”

Her head spun from his words, from the look on his face, from the feel of his body reacting to her touch. She pushed her iPhone away and heard it tumble down onto the floor. All she could think about was kissing him.

Their mouths connected, and the entire world vanished. Only the two of them. Together.

Slowly, the kiss ended, and they broke apart. He framed her face with his hands, and his expression grew very soft.

“Mine.”

“Always.” And she kissed him again.