VALOROUS (A Quantum Novel)(12)

“I hate that you’re blaming yourself.”

“Can’t help it.”

“Are you doing everything within your power to deal with it?”

“You know it.”

“Then let it go and let the people who work for you do their jobs. You’ve done everything you possibly can for me and then some.” She wraps her arms around my right arm. “Aileen gave me some really good advice tonight.”

I squeeze her thigh. “What was that?”

“To remember I have my health and a man who’s crazy about me. At least I think he is…”

“You know he is.”

“She said we should enjoy this little escape from reality while we can and try to focus on all the positives.”

“She does make a good point.”

“It’s hard for me to see you so upset.”

“It’s hard for me to see your life upended because you got involved with me.”

“That’s not why my life was upended. It happened because someone I trusted got greedy.”

“Which wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t dragged you into my life.”

She surprises the shit out of me by moving Fluff to the seat next to her and removing her seat belt so she can crawl into my lap. Fluff is extremely put out by the disruption and growls to show her displeasure.

I want to growl with pleasure as Natalie straddles my lap and forces me to look at her. “May I say something and will you listen to me? Really listen and believe me when I tell you that if someone had told me I was going to lose my job, my home and my anonymity but that the trade-off was going to be the love of the most extraordinary man, I would choose love over everything else. Do you know how long it’s been since anyone has loved me?”

I wrap my arms around her and hug her as tightly as I can. “Christ, Nat.” I want to give her the stars, the moon, the entire universe—anything and everything I possibly can to make up for all the years she was so painfully alone.

“What you did for me tonight, bringing my kids to me, knowing how badly I needed to see them… No one has ever done anything like that for me before. I know you want to fix everything for me, but even you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. My cover’s been blown, and I’m going to have to figure out how to live with that. But knowing you’re here with me, that I don’t have to go through this alone… That’s huge. This could’ve happened at any time. Someone could’ve put two and two together with the girl who brought down the governor of Nebraska. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to go through this alone, without you and Addie and your army of people out for vengeance on my behalf. You’re already making everything better by calling in your army and just by being here and holding me and loving me.”

She brings me to my knees. She makes me want to be a better man so I’ll deserve every sweet inch of her and the trust she has placed in my hands. I hold her close to me, breathing in the addicting scent of her hair as it brushes against my face. For the first time since Addie sent the 911 message yesterday and I heard what was happening to Natalie, I take a deep breath and feel myself begin to relax ever so slightly.

That Natalie doesn’t blame me for what’s happened to her makes me the luckiest bastard on earth. Rather than pushing me away as I feared she would, she’s turned to me and pulled me closer. “I love you so much, Nat. More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”

“I love you, too. Every time I think I’ve seen the full extent of who you are, you go and top yourself by arranging a spaghetti dinner for my class and then paying for the whole school to eat for the rest of the year!”

“Technically, Addie did the arranging and stuff.”

“Whose idea was it?”

“Mine. I guess.”

“See? There you have it. My guy is the most thoughtful, wonderful man in the world.” She takes my face in her small hands and forces me to look at her as she kisses me. Hearing her call me her guy winds me up in knots that have nothing to do with stress and everything to do with desire. After the momentous step we took together the other night, I hadn’t expected to spend these last few days dealing with her worst nightmare come to life. I’d hoped to spend them wrapped up in her, making love to her over and over again.

Nothing has gone according to plan since we got home from LA on Monday night.

We arrive at Teterboro and are driven onto the tarmac where a Lear awaits us. I’ve requested a plane with a bed for this trip and not for obvious reasons. I want Natalie to get a good night’s sleep while we fly. If other stuff happens, too, well, so be it. Our security detail wishes us well and ushers us onto the plane where a flight attendant named Miranda greets us.

I can tell she’s trying to be professional, but she wants to do that screaming thing women do when they meet me. Thankfully, she manages to contain the urge. Natalie, Addie and I buckle in for takeoff, and as soon as we’re airborne, I get up and hold out a hand to Nat.

“We’re going to get some sleep,” I tell Addie. “Will you be okay out here?”

“I’m great. I’ve got a ton of work to do, and then I’ll sack out on the sofa. See you in LA.”

“Don’t work too hard.”

She gives me a small smile that’s full of sympathy for what we’re going through. She’s been almost as upset as we are, and she’s out for blood on our behalf.