Upside Down(27)

Merry snorted. “Well, let’s just hope Mr Amazing is on the same page.”

“God, I hope that too. You have no idea.” I quickly thumbed out a reply.

I’m looking forward to it. I hit Send, then added another. And I’ll try not to disappoint.

My phone beeped almost immediately with his reply. That’s highly unlikely.

I made a high-pitched sound and clutched my phone to my chest and tried to gather my thoughts enough to reply with something half-intelligent.

It’s only fair if I have questions for you too, I replied.

And I’ll be only too happy to answer.

I almost swooned again, right there on Pitt Street. Can I apologise in advance?

For what?

The questions I ask and the answers I give.

Ha! I don’t think so. Don’t ever apologise for being you, Jordan. JSYK, I wouldn’t be thinking of questions to ask you if I wasn’t interested in your uncensored answers.

Uncensored is risky. You might want to reset your hologram program back a day or two.

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”

The air left my lungs, my world tilted, and I had to lean against the building wall. “Jesus, Jordan,” Merry said, alarmed. She grabbed my arm. “What’s wrong?”

I handed her my phone. “He quoted Lewis Carroll,” I tried to say, but it was barely a squeaky breath.

“Oh, Jesus,” she whispered. Her eyes went from my phone to me, then back again. “So that’s it then. I’ll start planning the wedding.”

I ignored that and concentrated on breathing. Breathing seemed important.

Merry handed me back my phone just as it rang. It was Hennessy’s number. I hit Answer, and his smooth voice met my ear. “I thought it’d be just easier to talk rather than text. Is that okay?”

“You can’t just quote Lewis Carroll to me,” I said into the phone. “You can’t quote literary giants like Alice in motherfucking Wonderland to me while I’m in public. That’s not fair. You say stuff like that and I forget what oxygen is. You can probably watch the six o’clock news and there’ll be the headline Asexual Gay Man Forgets How To Breathe, and there’ll be video footage of me freaking the fuck out in the Pitt Street mall.”

He laughed. “I should have sent a warning first?”

“Yes, you should have.”

“You called yourself asexual,” he said, ever so casually. “So I take it that revelation is going well?”

“Did I? I don’t think I said that.”

He hummed a noncommittal sound. “So what’s happening in Pitt Street?”

“I’m with Merry. We’re shopping while we wait for Merry’s mother. She’s getting her talons done.”

Merry laughed and leaned up close to the phone. “Accurate description is accurate.”

Hennessy snorted. “Talons, huh?”

I chuckled. “Yes, the finger-knives of the velociraptor are its weapon of choice.”

Merry gave me a shove. “Come on, or she’ll come looking for us. Can you walk and talk at the same time? Are you good with the whole air thing now?”

I nodded. “Yes, air in, air out. Got it, thanks.”

“I’m sure she’s not that bad,” Hennessy said.

“Well, I can tell you this. ‘Hell is empty, all the devils are here’,” I replied.

He barked out a laugh. “So I can’t quote Lewis but you can quote Shakespeare?”

My smile became a grin. “I don’t make the rules.” Then I sighed. “You knew who said that?”

“I can’t say for certain that he said it, but he most certainly wrote it.”

I did that swoon thing again and quite possibly hugged my phone. “Touché.”

“Hey, I’ll let you go,” Hennessy said, sounding happy. “Be wary of the velociraptors. I hear their talons are fierce.”

“Not as bad as their bite, I can tell you that much. Hennessy, I’m, um, I’m…” I put my free hand over my eyes, which was stupid because he couldn’t see me, but it was hard for me to say out loud. “I’m glad you called.”

“So am I.” After a moment, he added, “So, the bus, tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow.”

I clicked off the call and Merry hooked her arm around mine and, both of us smiling like loons, went off to find the velociraptor with the pretty nails.





Merry held both my hands and looked me sternly in the eye. “What are the rules, Jordan?”

I gave a hard nod. “No freaking out. No calling anyone a motherfucker. And I have to call you as soon as practicably possible and let you know what his question was.”

“Good.” She glanced up the road. “Okay, here comes the bus. You got this Jordan. And just remember, he likes the real you. Not some pretence of who you think he likes. You, in all your motherfucking awkward glory.”

“Right. Me, in all my awkward motherfucking glory. Got it.”

The bus door opened and there weren’t nearly as many people on the bus as normal. There were a few empty seats dotted up and down the bus, but there he was, grinning at me like for some strange reason the sight of me made him happy. He slid his bag into his lap and I fell into the seat beside him.