Until You (The Redemption, #1)(23)

He licks his ice cream slowly as his eyes hold mine. It’s not done in a seductive nature, but Jesus, parts of my body fire with tingles that shouldn’t be firing in an ice cream parlor. “He hurt you that bad, huh?”

Crew’s comment startles me so much that my chortled laugh sounds borderline hysterical. “What do you mean?”

“Running to a small town. Choosing to keep to yourself. Reveling in being off the grid for a bit while you collect the pieces of yourself off the floor.” He shrugs. “I might know a thing or two about that too.”

His honesty is completely unexpected and wholeheartedly welcome. And while that’s not the whole reason I picked Redemption Falls, it is a big part of it. Because regardless of the man I found Kaleo out to be, he was still the love of my life at the time. He was still my person. And finding out the truths about him only made his betrayal of my heart and mind that much worse.

It only made me question myself and my judgment that much more. And mourn what he took from me.

Crew’s eyes don’t hide the hurt that has settled there. I’m not used to someone being so transparent with me. It’s refreshing. It’s terrifying.

And it makes me want to know more.

“How long has it been?” I ask.

He looks at his girls, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He keeps his focus there as he explains. “It’s been a little over a year. Eighteen months to be exact because this is the second birthday of theirs she’ll have missed.”

“I’m sorry. For the three of you. I can’t imagine . . . I mean, at least with us, with me—he didn’t want kids yet, so it was just me who was devastated.”

His smile is tight. “Don’t be sorry. You know how it goes. You go into every relationship knowing shit could go south—even when you never think it could or is.” He falls quiet for a beat as the girls dance around to a pop song. “Simply put, she loved herself more than she loved us. And now she’s in Greece living what she thinks is her best life with some resort manager when the best thing in her life is those two right there.” Not to mention Crew himself.

How could a mother and wife leave them?

“I don’t even know what to say.” And I don’t.

“There’s nothing to say. It’s hard to hang the moon on someone and then realize they didn’t do the same in return. Am I bitter? Of course I am, but the bitterness has helped cauterize that heartbreak a lot quicker than if I weren’t.” He shrugs and looks back to me for the first time. I see sadness there, anger, but I also see a resolve that is more than admirable. “She emailed today to tell me she wasn’t going to make their birthday. After missing last year, she promised she’d come. She sent an email because it goes to me, and she’s too chickenshit to text or call them and say it face to face, so to speak.”

It all clicks for me. The ridiculous number of bags sitting on the floor beside us. Today’s declaration of a birthday celebration lasting the whole summer. “They don’t know yet, do they?”

His Adam’s apple bobs. “I didn’t have the heart to tell them. Instead, I’m going to spoil them rotten. It won’t replace them not having their mom, but it might distract them for a bit.”

“You’re a good man, Crew.”

He snorts. “I’m just trying to do the best I can. I’m not going to lie, it’s felt like the year from hell for us. She left, then just as we were getting settled without her, the shit went down at work. Brittney not being there just made it ten times harder for the girls. They wondered if something happened to me, what would happen to them. That kind of shit.” He blows out a sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “You know what? I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly an over ice-cream discussion. A bit heavy.”

“Don’t apologize at all. I get it. I do.”

Crew gets the cutest smile on his lips as he reaches out and taps his cone gently against mine. “Cheers.”

“Cheers?” I ask.

“Yes. Cheers. We survived our exes. We’re figuring our shit out. And we survived another day—you with Bobbi Jo and me with the terribly terrific twosome—and that, in and of itself, is worth celebrating.”

“Agreed. Cheers.”

He nods before turning to laugh at his girls as they come back to the table. Crew was right.

He is hot.

And kind.

And endearing in so many ways.

You’re not supposed to be that, Crew Madden. You’re supposed to be the asshole landlord who won’t repair my place. The grumpy prick who lives in the house up the drive who prefers to be left alone.

You’re not supposed to be you with your charm and your devotion to your girls.

You made promises to yourself, Tenny.

Huge promises. Ones you can’t break.

And anything other than a friendship with Crew would do just that.





CHAPTER TEN


Tennyson




It’s only because you want to help make the girls’ birthday special.

It has nothing to do with wanting to see Crew again.

Absolutely nothing.

Then why do I suddenly feel nervous as I walk up the dirt drive toward the Madden house?

And why did I do my hair and makeup if I’m just dropping these gifts off?