Until Lilly (Until, #3)(56)

“No. The kids are down the hall. Do you want to check on them?”

“The kids are fine; I just checked on them. I want to talk to you.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to talk to you,” she says low, her head shaking back and forth in agitation.

“Lil.”

“Don’t ‘Lil’ me.” Her eyes finally meet mine, and she points at me. “I have accepted your past since the beginning of our relationship. I accepted who you were the first time we were together, and I more than accepted you this time around. What did you think, Cash, that you were the only person I would ever be with?” she asks, and I can hear the anger in her words. Each one cutting through me.

“That’s not what I was saying,” I say, taking another step towards her.

“You know, you’re right. You broke me. I couldn’t be with anyone else. Austin is a great guy—sweet, considerate, loving, and handsome—but I couldn’t be with him, no matter how many times I tried, no matter how much I liked him. He wasn’t you. No one was ever you.” As much as it kills to think of her trying to be with anyone, I understand. I see tears in her eyes, and I’m done with the space separating us. Walking towards her, I quickly pull her to me, not giving her a chance to argue.

“I’m sorry.” I breathe her in, the smell of lavender comforting me. “It was a shit thing to ask you.” I rub her back. “I love you, Lil. I just…shit...I just hate the idea of you with anyone else.” I take a breath; I can still tell that she’s crying. “Please don’t cry because I’m an idiot,” I say gently.

“You are an idiot,” she says. I can feel her cheek move against my chest and I know she’s smiling.

“As long as I’m your idiot, I couldn’t care less.” Her head tilts back, her glassy eyes meeting mine.

“You know, you make it really hard to be mad at you,” she says, studying my face.

“I’m not going to complain about that. It seems to be working in my favor.” She shakes her head before dropping her forehead to my chest.

“I hope you know that I will be meeting Austin when he comes back in from his fishing trip,” she tells me and I take a breath, not wanting to say the wrong thing, but not wanting her to meet up with a man that she obviously cares about.

“Can I come with you when you meet up with him?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “You have to trust me, Cash. Austin and I are friends, nothing more.” Her arms wrap around my waist. “But that doesn’t mean that feelings were not there, and Austin was hurt in the past and I want to make sure he’s doing okay.”

“I don’t like it,” I whisper into her hair before kissing the top of her head.

“I know, but it’s something I have to do.” She gives me a squeeze, trying to offer me comfort.

“I trust you,” I say, and it’s the truth.

“Thank you,” she replies quietly, but I can hear in those two words how much I just gave to her. My hand goes to the back of her neck before traveling to her jaw so I can tilt her head back.

“I know what’s in front of me, Lil. I know exactly what I have, so when I feel like it’s being threatened, the first thing I want to do is lash out and kill anything that may come in and jeopardize it. I know what we had before, and I know what we have now. And I will always do everything within my power to protect it.

“Austin isn’t a threat,” she says, her hand coming up and traveling along my jaw.

“Lilly, your kind of sweet is hard to come by, so when you get even just a little taste of it, you want more. I’m saying that as a man who knows what bitter tastes like,” I tell her gently. I don’t know what happened with Austin and his past relationship, but I have a feeling he knows what bitter tastes like too. And he also knows the kind of woman Lilly is, and how hard that is to find.

“I think you’re reading too much into this.”

“I’m not, but that’s okay as long as you know that you’re mine. I will try to control the urge to throw you over my shoulder and carry you back to my lair,” I tell her, making her laugh. She rubs her face against my chest before lifting her eyes to meet mine.

“We should go check on the kids and get them something to eat,” she tells me before taking a step back. I pull her back to me, bend her back and put my mouth on hers. Once I feel her relax, I nibble on her bottom then top lip.

“Now, we can go get the kids,” I tell her, my mouth still against hers.

“You have to let me go.” She’s right, but I don’t want to.

“Are we good?” I don’t like fighting with her.

“We’re good.”

“Good.” I kiss her once more before righting her, turning her towards the door, and smacking her ass. She looks at me over her shoulder, and all I can do is shrug. “You have a nice ass.”

“We’re in my parents’ house.”

“Just because were in their house doesn’t mean I’m going to stop touching you when I want to.”

“My dad isn’t going to like you smacking my ass,” she says. I smile, pushing her out the door of the bedroom. “Cash, seriously, he won’t like it.” I ignore her, leading her down the hall with a hand in the small of her back to where the kids are. “I would hate to see my dad put his old Seal skills to use by making you disappear.” I start laughing. “This isn’t funny,” she says loudly just as we walk around the corner into the rooms that the kids are playing in.