Until Harry(32)

I felt smug as I put my jeans on the counter and watched the man scan the price tag. I cleared my throat and glanced at the clothes in Kale’s arms, causing him to sigh and drop them onto the counter. He stood back and folded his arms across his chest as he watched the man behind the till scan and bag each item of clothing.

When we were finished in River Island, we went to McDonald’s, and Kale didn’t speak to me until we were sitting down and he was halfway through eating his food. I was starving, but I didn’t want to eat fast food. I wanted to eat healthy food to help me not gain any more weight.

I made a mental note to talk to my mother about it when I was home.

“Who do you like?” he randomly asked me.

I nearly choked as I swallowed some water Kale had got me.

“What?” I rasped, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Who do you fancy?” he clarified.

I stared at him for a moment and then said, “No one – why?”

He raised his eyebrows. “There isn’t a single lad in school you fancy?”

Well, my heart sang, there is you.

I scratched my neck and said, “Nope.”

“I don’t believe you,” he dead-panned.

I frowned and played with my fingers. “Why not?”

“Because you won’t look at me when you answer the question, and you’re playing with your fingers. You do both when you’re lying.”

I clasped my hands together.

“Can we not talk about this?” I asked.

“Fine,” Kale quipped.

Great: he was mad.

I tilted my head as I looked at him. “Why do you care if I fancy a lad?”

“I don’t,” he retorted.

Bullshit.

“Then why ask?” I pressed.

He shrugged. “Just starting a conversation to kill the silence.”

He was lying.

“Since when have you ever started a conversation like this one?” I questioned.

Kale dipped his burger in sauce. “Never, which is why I brought it up. I mean you do like boys, don’t you?”

“What do you mean? Omigod!” I gasped when I got his meaning. “I’m not gay.”

He bit into his burger and said with a mouth full of food, “It’d be cool if you were – I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

My stomach churned.

“I know there isn’t, but I’m not gay. To be honest, I’m fairly bloody pissed off you assume I’m gay just because I say I don’t fancy a lad in school.”

I stood up from my chair, grabbed my many shopping bags and stormed out of McDonald’s.

“Lane!” Kale shouted. “Shit. Wait. I’m sorry.”

He thought I was gay? God, this was mortifying. The person who I was in love with thought I batted for the other team. It was so embarrassing and completely hurtful. Not to mention utterly devastating for my already shot self-esteem.

Kale caught me outside of McDonald’s and jumped in front of me, his hands raised. It was then that I noticed he had his half-eaten burger in one hand and his tub of chips in the other. He’d brought his food with him?

“You’re such a pig,” I commented.

“Your mum paid for this – I’m not letting it go to waste,” he frowned.

He said this with such a serious face that it made me laugh.

“There is something wrong with you,” I said with a shake of my head.

He locked his eyes with mine. “Yeah – you.”

I grinned. “You love me.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “It’s the only reason I put up with you.”

I sighed. “You’re such a pain in my arse.”

“Your squatted arse?” he asked, grinning.

I didn’t reply to him, so he said, “You forgive me, right?”

I sighed. “Have you ever known me to stay mad at you for long?”

“No,” he proudly announced. “It’s my superpower – that and being incredibly good-looking.”

I flushed and playfully swatted at his arm, making him grin. I had a small smile on my face as we turned and got lost in the crowd heading back towards the clothing shops, because I had more money to spend. I hated that deep down I knew no amount of money could change how I now felt about my body and overall appearance.

Anna and Ally’s words were drilled into my brain, and they couldn’t be forgotten. Kale could only distract me from reality for so long, but I’d make damn sure the time with him wouldn’t be wasted.





CHAPTER NINE

Day two in York

It was time.

I pressed my forehead against the oak door of my old bedroom, praying time would somehow reverse and give me a few more days with my uncle. I wasn’t ready to lower him six feet below the earth and cover him up with dirt. I knew on some level I would never be ready to permanently say goodbye to someone I loved, but I felt like I physically couldn’t do it for my uncle.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him. I just couldn’t do it.

“Lane?” I heard a soft voice call out from the other side of my bedroom door, gaining my attention.

I blinked and realised it was my grandmother.

“I can’t do it, Nanny.”