Unseen Messages(112)

I’d never felt so in control and so controlled in all my life. Never felt so full and empty.

When I’d taken as much as his length as I could, I paused.

But he didn’t let me stop.

His large hand landed on my hipbone, gently pushing me the final inch, pressing past pleasurable pain, inserting more than just his body but his heart into my chest, too.

We stood quaking with the tide lapping around us, our breathing the same torn rattle.

As much as I didn’t want to break the mood, I had to give one tiny instruction. I’d accepted that I was wrong to stay away from him. But I wasn’t wrong about my fears. Pregnancy could never happen. We could find happiness together, but that was where our coupling had to end.

Holding him close, I whispered in his ear. “Love me, take me, I’m yours. But don’t come in me.”

His body jolted; his eyes searched mine. Understanding followed swiftly and his cock twitched inside.

We groaned together, and he surprised me by pressing his forehead to mine and thrusting up. “I promise.”

My heart shed its final prison, becoming a crazed winged creature desperate for him. Knowing he would help me prevent a future of dreadful uncertainty allowed me to fully relax since we’d met at the airport in Los Angeles.

Because even then, I’d known. I’d felt his soul casting its lure to tempt mine. I felt the barbed hooks making their way slowly into my psyche, webbing our lives together, whether we wanted them to or not.

Stumbling forward, Galloway slammed to his knees in the water. A pained grimace showed the action wasn’t planned but part of the weakness of his ill-healed ankle.

Water splashed, filling our mouths with salt.

But it didn’t stop or dislodge us.

Hauling me onto the wave-lapped shore, Galloway lay me down, baptising me in seawater as his hands clutched the beach on either side of my head and thrust up.

Everything dissolved.

My legs opened.

My fingers clutched.

And my body beckoned him deeper.

“Christ, Estelle.” His mouth found mine and together we rode, splashed, and claimed, rocking to the same despairing rhythm, our tongues mimicking our bodies, our mutual want ensuring our rise to the pinnacle flew rather than swam.

Thrust after thrust, I spooled tighter into a galaxy waiting to supernova.

Thrust after thrust, my fear about him coming tainted my pleasure.

And when a growling groan spilled from his lips and his back turned to stone and his features set in quartz, I panicked.

“Stop!”

He didn’t.

His lips claimed mine again, orchestrating my body to ignore repercussions and only live in the moment. To come with him. Because he was seconds from coming undone.

“No!” I screamed, my heels kicking his back.

His hips stopped pistoning, his eyes round with fear. “What? I won’t hurt you. I promised I wouldn’t hurt you.” Rage replaced the stunned terror. “You said you believed me!”

My breathing turned wet with swallowed tears. “I promised? You promised. You said you wouldn’t come inside me.”

His eyebrows shot into his dark hairline. “I wasn’t. I wouldn’t.”

“You were about to.”

Babies and pregnancy and complications.

My passion bubbled into panic.

“I wouldn’t go back on a promise, Estelle. I was about to pull out.”

I shoved his shoulders. “Well, pull out now. I can’t—I can’t do this.”

Wrong thing to say.

Heavy shoplifter-proof shutters clanged over his eyes. Without a word, he moved his hips, withdrawing the hard deliciousness from between my legs. Sitting on his knees, he scowled. “Happy?”

Scrambling up, I hugged my knees, feeling ridiculously stupid and horribly naked. “No. I’m not happy. I know I just ruined it. But I’m sorry. I can’t...I can’t—”

“I wasn’t going to come in you, Estelle. You told me not to. I would’ve obeyed.”

I had nothing to say.

I was stupid to jump the gun and ruin something so perfect.

But it was ruined, and I didn’t have the strength to salvage it.

Not today.

Unfolding, I stood, fighting the urge to cover myself. “I’m sorry, Galloway.” Turning my back on him, I scooped my sodden bikini floating like a black stain on the water and purposely didn’t look back.





Chapter Forty-Two


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G A L L O W A Y

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I RUINED IT.

Just like I ruined every other good thing in my life.

That night, I lay in bed agonising over how I could’ve prevented the awful ending after the best sexual experience of my life.

Estelle was everything I wanted. It wasn’t just because she was the only woman on the island. It wasn’t just because I found her attractive and smart.

She was my person.

The one perfect creation just for me.

And the knowledge that I’d upset her by doing something she didn’t want me to do.

It bloody killed me.

I’d tried to talk to her once I returned to camp. We had all day to clear the air and sort out how to fix what was broken. But Estelle threw herself into taking care of Pippa and Conner. She gathered firewood, stoppered containers full of fresh water, fried silver fish in coconut milk, and garnished the dish with fresh salad and toasted coconut shards.