Unmarriageable(64)

For the first time since their friendship had begun in this graveyard ten years ago, they walked out in an awkward silence. But it was done, thank God, and when Sherry returned home she told her parents that they were now free to spread the good news.



Duly, Bobia and Haji Looclus arrived at the Binats’ with a box of heart-shaped barfis.

‘Wah jee wah,’ Mrs Binat said taking a barfi. ‘To what do we owe this celebration?’

Bobia Looclus spewed the news like water out of a high-pressure hose.

‘Our Sherry and your Farhat Kaleen are getting married, mashallah, inshallah.’

Mrs Binat’s barfi fell into her lap.

‘Please, Aunty Bobia,’ Lady said. ‘Itni bari gup, such a tall tale. Don’t you know Fart Bhai is madly in love with Alys and dying to marry her?’

Bobia Looclus sucked in her cheeks. Her husband gave her a calming look and she contented herself with huffily adjusting her dupatta over her head.

‘They are marrying,’ Alys confirmed. ‘Sherry told me herself.’

‘Aunty, Uncle.’ Jena got up to hug them. ‘Bohut mubarak, my sincere congratulations. Congratulations from all of us.’

‘Yes, heartiest congratulations, Bobia Behen, Haji Sahib,’ Mr Binat said, even though he was surprised that poor Sherry had agreed to marry Alys’s reject. Mari’s, Qitty’s, and Lady’s congratulations followed, and, eventually, Mrs Binat managed a congrats.

‘Oof Allah,’ Bobia Looclus informed her husband once they left Binat House and proceeded to another neighbour’s, ‘if Pinkie Binat’s looks could kill, Alys would be a dead girl.’ She let out a big happy sigh. ‘Dear God, protect my Sherry from buri nazr, the world’s evil eyes and ill wills.’

The very next day Sherry fulfilled a dream. She marched into Mrs Naheed’s office and handed in her resignation. Naheed was about to make a big stink about a week’s notice when she looked at Sherry’s form.

‘You’re marrying Beena dey Bagh’s daughter Annie’s doctor? That Farhat Kaleen?’

‘Jee, Head Teacher Madam.’

Naheed’s mouth fell open. How in God’s good name had this gangly nobody managed to snag what was for her a stellar match, a doctor, despite the fact that Kaleen was a widower with three children? She had to tread carefully, for she did not know exactly how close Kaleen was to Beena dey Bagh, but it would not bode well if he informed Beena that Naheed had been rude to his wife-to-be. And so it was that Naheed accepted Sherry’s resignation with courtesy and told her that she was not to worry about finding a replacement – Urdu teachers were a dime a dozen – and proclaimed that she looked forward to attending the wedding.

Sherry left Naheed’s office stunned. She’d been expecting fury, and suddenly the full force of her coup hit her: she wasn’t just getting married; she was marrying a somebody. A somebody who mattered so much that Mrs Naheed had been forced into politeness. Sherry did not know why the universe had, after years of insult, decided to smile upon her now, but she went straight to the toilets, where she allowed herself a sob. She was late to her class but for the first time she didn’t care.



The Loocluses fixed the wedding two weeks hence, chut mangni pat biyah, a quick engagement followed by a quicker marriage, lest Kaleen change his mind. There was not much to prepare because, per the teachings of Islam, Kaleen declared that he and Sherry were to have a simple wedding. Instead of weeks of dholkis, a milad, and a mayun leading up to the bankruptcy-inducing three main events of mehndi, nikah, and walima, Sherry would hold a Quran recital at her humble abode, Looclus Lodge Bismillah, where they would read the good book in order to begin the marriage auspiciously. The recital would be followed by the marriage vows, followed by a nice lunch for close family and a handful of friends, as well as sweet and savoury deyghs prepared to feed the poor.

Once back in Islamabad, Kaleen would host a decent walima in a nice wedding hall, where Begum Beena dey Bagh and all his important clients would not hesitate to be seen. As for dowry, Kaleen hated the concept and would not hear of it. There was no dowry in Islam. Rather, the groom was required to give haq mehr, the mandatory monetary gift to the bride, and he planned to hand over to Sherry a generous amount on the very day of their nuptials. Sherry wanted to ask for the right of divorce, but her mother forbade it.

‘An ill omen,’ Bobia stressed, ‘to begin a marriage with provisions for divorce. A good girl stays married for life no matter what, and only silly girls believe that making compromises towards lifelong commitment is old-fashioned. Sherry, if you want to be happy and successful in your marriage, then forget all the nonsense that bad influence Alys has been putting into your head.’ Sherry silently comforted herself with the thought of khula, no matter how much more difficult that method of procuring a divorce could be – not that, God forbid, the need for divorce would ever arise.

Bobia and Haji Looclus were overjoyed that Kaleen had not turned out to be one of those greedy men who expected his bride’s family to fulfil material demands. Nevertheless, they could not stomach sending Sherry with zero dowry, lest anyone taunt her for arriving at her husband’s house empty-handed, and so they prepared the minimum: a gold jewellery set, a bed and matching wardrobe plus dressing table, a wristwatch for Kaleen, and suit pieces for his children and close relatives. Thankfully, Sherry’s haq mehr, which she would dutifully hand over to her parents, would defray the cost of the dowry. As for wedding outfits, Sherry was reluctant to spend a fortune on clothes that would never be worn again. Alys came up with the solution. Sherry could wear her mother’s wedding clothes from back in the day.