Unending Devotion (Michigan Brides #1)(56)

Was she really doing the right thing?

Tears blurred her vision.

She hurried to the stairway before she started crying in front of them all.

“Wait, Lily,” Connell’s voice called after her.

But she skipped up the steps. She couldn’t say good-bye to him. It was better to pretend she was going up to her bed like she did every other night.

“Lily.” His voice chased after her.

She forced her feet to climb faster.

His footsteps clomped on the steps behind her.

She turned the corner in the stairwell and made it almost to the top before his fingers connected with hers.

He grasped her hand and immobilized her.

She twisted, trying to free her hand from his hold.

“Stop. Please,” he said. “Listen to me. Just for a minute.”

The sincerity in his tone beckoned her to turn, and she couldn’t resist. She wanted one more look at him, one last lingering gaze into his eyes, one final feast of being near him.

On the step above him, she found herself almost nose to nose with him.

“Lily,” he started. His grip around her wrist slackened, but instead of letting go of her, his fingers slid down and intertwined with hers, the hard lengths capturing and fitting into each dip of her hand with an intimate tenderness that left her suddenly breathless.

“I wanted to make sure you’re satisfied with all our plans so far.”

If he was asking her, he must have sensed her resistance even though she’d tried to keep it from showing.

His lips were at the same level as hers, only a hand’s stretch away.

Why hadn’t he ever kissed her? Over the past month he’d had the opportunity—more than once. He’d wanted to kiss her—she’d seen his desire, like now. And he had to know she’d been more than willing to accept a kiss from him.

If she leaned forward, she could easily provide him access. She’d let him give her a good-bye kiss, for after tonight she’d never see him again.

“Lily?” he whispered, almost as if asking permission.

She didn’t know how to kiss a man. She’d never done it before. But she leaned forward enough so that her lips pressed softly to his and clung there for a long breathless moment.

He grew absolutely still and silent. He didn’t respond to her touch, but neither did he push her away.

Had she been mistaken? She’d thought he wanted to kiss her too. A twinge of embarrassment crept over her, and she began to lift her lips away from him.

But his breath came in a soft moan, and suddenly his lips caught hers in a powerful current that pulled her against him so that his mouth covered hers.

The grip of his fingers within hers tightened.

And she found herself drowning in his kiss, the sweetness of it, the sheer pleasure it.

She couldn’t think of anything at that moment except that she wanted to be near him and have him wrap his arms around her.

“What have I done?” he whispered, wrenching his lips from hers. Agony laced his voice. He released her hand and took a step down and away from her. A tempest of guilt raged across the handsome lines of his face.

Was kissing her so wrong?

“I’m sorry, Lily,” he whispered hoarsely.

“I’m not sorry,” she whispered, pulling herself up.

He took another step down, his face growing taut. “It would be so easy to sweep you into my arms, Lily, and to go on kissing you till neither of us can think straight.”

She touched her lips. It would be all too easy to let him go on kissing her.

“You’re one of the nicest women I’ve ever met.” He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trousers, as if by doing so he could resist the temptation to reach for her again. “And I refuse to treat you anything like a loose woman.”

Loose woman? The words slapped her in the face, jolting her to the reality of the situation. Had she really just thrown herself at Connell? Had she really just whispered that she wasn’t sorry she’d kissed him? Had she so shamelessly wished she could go on kissing him?

“I don’t want to give people any reason to believe the rumors about us,” he said, regret deepening the shadows in his eyes.

Fresh embarrassment tingled over her, and she backed up a step, wanting to disappear altogether. How easy it was in one small moment to lose all self-control and to lower her standards. When she’d always been able to resist thinking about men, how could she cave in so easily now?

What was happening to her? Perhaps she’d fallen prey to the depraved standards of the lumber towns. Since she was surrounded by so many people that had low morals, had she unknowingly begun to lower hers?

Of course, she’d never been in a situation that had tested the strength of her virtue. She’d never cared for a man. Never wanted to kiss one.

Was she just a weak woman in the face of temptation?

Whatever the case, she knew it was time to go.

“Good-bye, Connell,” she whispered.

Then, without waiting for his reply, she spun and raced to the top of the stairs, to the dark hallway, letting the echo of her footsteps drown out the whisper in her heart that urged her to fling herself back into his arms.





Chapter

17



The stiff branches above Lily clattered like dry bones. With a shudder, she leaned her head against the trunk of the maple, the lone tree on the hill—one of the few trees left in Harrison, its hardwood unwanted by the lumber companies who fought over the soft wood of the white pine.