Undeniable (Cloverleigh Farms #2)(136)

“Morning, everyone.” I tested the waters by taking the seat next to her, but she didn’t protest.

“Are you golfing with the boys today?” my mother asked.

“I thought I might. If it’s okay with you,” I said to Chloe.

“It’s fine,” she said stiffly, barely giving me a glance. She wore sunglasses, so I couldn’t see her eyes.

“Okay, then I guess I will.” I took a sip of my coffee. “What will you ladies do today?”

“Oh, don’t worry about us.” My mother waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “We’ve got plenty of talking to do about the wedding, and we might wander into town, do some shopping. Later, we might spend some time in the pool. It’s going to be a beautiful day.”

“Sounds like fun.” I attempted to smile, but the icy silence on my right was discouraging. Maybe it meant nothing that she’d put the ring on again last night.

When she excused herself from the table only a few minutes after I sat down, I got up and followed her, leaving my coffee on the table.

She didn’t say anything until we reached the kitchen, which was empty. “What do you want, Oliver?”

“To talk to you.”

She dumped her uneaten breakfast in the trash and set her plate in the sink. “About what?”

“About everything.” But now that we were alone, I didn’t know what to say. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine.” She turned around and leaned back against the counter, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head. “You?”

“Shitty.”

“Where did you end up?”

“On the couch in the library.”

She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. She wore shorts that showed off her tan, muscular legs, and my entire body ached, thinking that I’d never be close to her warm, bare skin again. “You can have the bed tonight. I’m hoping to convince my parents to leave before dinner.”

“Chloe, don’t go.” I moved toward her and thought she’d duck away, but she didn’t. I put my hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I want to work this out. I know what I did was wrong, but the important thing was to get the money.”

She shook her head. “Are you even listening to yourself? This is how you blew your money the first time, Oliver. You can’t go through life only thinking about short-term gratification. Your decisions have consequences. They hurt people, and this plan to trick everyone you love is cruel.”

“This wouldn’t have hurt anybody. People break up all the time. It’s not like it was a real relationship.” I realized what I’d said and frowned. “I mean, it wasn’t supposed to be.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. “Nothing changes. You’re still the same old Oliver.”

“No! Look, I’m sorry I wasn’t up front with you. I’m sorry I withheld the full truth. I’m sorry I don’t do everything right the first time.” I paused. “Or the second time. But I’m not perfect, Chloe—I just wanted to build something of my own. I wanted to grow something, create something. And I wanted to do it with you. I still do.”

“It’s too late,” she said, wiping her eyes. “It’s too late.” Then she pushed me away, and rushed from the room.

Exhaling, I braced my hands on the edge of the counter and hung my head.

It was hopeless.

I’d lost it all.





I decided against golfing with the rest of the guys. There was no way I’d be able to enjoy it, and I didn’t have the energy or the desire to pretend. Despite what Chloe thought of me, I wasn’t that good an actor. Instead, I told my father I wanted to take the boat out and drove down to the marina without saying a word to anyone else.

Last night, I’d spent hours going over the past, revisiting all my mistakes. Out on the water today, I thought about my future. What I really wanted. Where I’d end up. How I would get there.

As a kid, I had imagined myself with a life exactly like every other adult man I knew—a life as a husband, a father, a career Pemberton man with a corner office and a closet full of Brooks Brothers suits. But when it came time to choose those things, I hadn’t chosen them. Somehow deep down, I’d never wanted to go down that path.

Not that there was anything wrong with it. My parents were happy. My brother and sister were happy. I still saw myself as a father someday. But I’d always been convinced there was something more.

The weekend Chloe and I spent in my Chicago hotel room, I’d felt certain I’d found it, and maybe I had. It choked me up a little thinking that I’d been right back then, but too scared to go after it.

Because what if I’d failed? What if I wasn’t the man she thought I was? What if I wasn’t destined for great things or worthy of a girl like Chloe, or deserving of a life out of the ordinary?

I’d never felt so much self-doubt before, so I’d run from it, and from her. Then I’d been so ashamed of myself, I’d stayed away. I saw my engagement to Alison as a sort of punishment—I’d blown my chance with the girl I really wanted, so I should be forced to endure a lifetime with someone I couldn’t stand, right?

Even now, when I looked back at my grand scheme to get the rest of my trust, I could see the ways that shame and self-doubt had fueled my behavior. I was too proud to go to my father, admit my mistakes, and ask for a loan. I was too worried about looking foolish compared to my brother. I was too concerned with what everyone else would think of a guy like me—a guy who’d been handed every single advantage in life and still managed to fuck it up.