Undecided(68)

I can’t believe it either. And finally I start to laugh. I laugh so hard my shoulders heave and my eyes water and I even snort a little bit. I slump in my chair and toss back my head and just really f*cking laugh.

“Are you just banging or is this for real? Boyfriend-girlfriend real?”

The question sobers me up pretty quickly. I straighten in my seat and Crosbie and I exchange a look.

“It’s for real,” he says quietly, picking up his fork and twirling it in his spaghetti. My heart lurches at the words, because I know he’s never said them about anyone before. Neither have I.

Kellan takes another bite of his bread and chews while he surveys us. “I knew it.”

“You knew?” Crosbie echoes, sounding doubtful.

“Yep. You’ve been different this year. I knew there was something going on.” He tilts his head, conceding. “I didn’t know it was Nora, but I knew there was something.”

Crosbie’s jaw twitches. “I see.”

“First you started noticing chicks with glasses after Nora came over to see the apartment that first time. I just thought you’d developed some new fetish, but it was that outfit she had on. She made you like nerds.” He nods at me. “No offense.”

I roll my eyes.

“I didn’t—”

“And how you kept changing our runs so they would go past Beans, then talking about brownies so I’d suggest we go in.”

“I’m not—”

Kellan looks at me. “It was his idea to invite you to the Halloween party. I mean, I was on board with it, but it wasn’t my idea.”

Crosbie glares at him. “What are you—”

Kellan shrugs innocently, though I think we all know he’s far from it. And while Crosbie’s looking a little embarrassed to have his eighth-grade seduction strategy exposed, my heart’s beating a mile a minute. I don’t know anyone who works as hard as he does, for anything. Especially not for me.

“Thank you,” I say.

It appears to take some effort, but he pulls his attention away from Kellan and focuses it on me. “Thank you?”

“Yeah.” I nudge his leg under the table. “If what he’s saying is true, then thank you.”

He blushes when he smiles. “Any time.”

The rest of the meal is only slightly less awkward, though it’s admittedly more than a little weird when Kellan tidies the kitchen while Crosbie plays video games and I work on my archaeology paper. No one really speaks, and eventually Kellan joins Crosbie and they blow things up for a while. Around eleven I’m sick of analyzing cave finds in the fictional region of Malaruhu, and I shut down my laptop and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash up. When I come out the explosions abruptly stop, and Crosbie looks from me to Kellan and back, then slowly stands.

He wipes his hands on his thighs, hesitant, and I realize we’re at a turning point. If he stays the night, the entire pretense of my arrangement with Kellan is shot to hell. If he goes home, the entire pretense of our relationship is undermined. We’re standing in a room with the most popular guy on campus, and we’re choosing each other.

“There’s an extra toothbrush in the bathroom,” I offer. “If you want to brush your teeth before you come to bed.”

I see heat flare in his eyes and very slowly, he nods. “Will do.”

“Fuck,” Kellan groans. “Is this what it’s going to be like from now on?”

“I know this isn’t what we agreed,” I say, balancing on the arm of the couch when Crosbie leaves to clean up. “I’m sorry to flip the script on you.”

He shakes his head. “I lived in a frat house last year,” he says. “You really think I didn’t hear Crosbie banging—” He cuts himself off way too late.

I cross my arms. “Huh.”

“Dude!” Crosbie exclaims from behind me.

Kellan hesitates, then unpauses the game, turning the volume way, way up, and studiously ignores us. Slowly I look at Crosbie.

“That was last year,” he says quickly. “I’m different now.”

I glare at him, then relent. “Me too.”

His relief is palpable as he follows me into the bedroom, closing the door and waiting until I’ve turned on the bedside lamp before shutting off the ceiling light. “Don’t be pissed,” he says.

“I’m not.” I slip out of my jeans and sweater and pull on a tank top, stopping as I reach for a pair of shorts. I glance over my shoulder to find him staring at my ass. “Should I bother putting these on?”

He yanks off his shirt and undoes his pants so fast he almost falls. “No,” he says, tackling me onto the bed. “You’re not going to need them.”



*



Crosbie Lucas is my boyfriend.

I’m not the only one who’s stunned by the news, but I really don’t care what other people say. Well, except for Marcela, who gave me an earful about keeping secrets.

Two days after the spaghetti debacle-turned relationship reveal, I’m sitting across from Crosbie at one of the tiny tables at Beans and splitting a cinnamon bun during my fifteen minute break. Nate attributes my excellent mood to all the orgasms I must be enjoying—and I do enjoy them—but my buoyed spirits are due in no small part to the phone call I’d gotten from the campus clinic this morning, informing me that my test results had come back all clear. It’s what I expected, but it’s still nice to have it confirmed.