Unbreakable (City Lights, #2)(73)

I nodded miserably. “I was scared, desperate. I thought I was going to die and so did he. I just wanted to feel alive and for the first time in a long time, surrounded by the threat of death, I did. I felt alive when I was with Cory.” Tears sprang to my eyes but I willed them back. I never cry. Never. I heaved a steadying breath.

“So it’s done,” I said. “And I regret it but I also don’t. It’s something that happened in a bubble. A time apart from real life. It doesn’t count.”

“Doesn’t count?” Lilah gaped. “Are you hearing yourself? You f*cked this Cory guy in the middle of a hostage crisis?”

“Will you keep your voice down?”

“Who does that? How is that even possible?” She didn’t wait for an answer but grabbed her purse and walked.

“Lilah, wait, you’re not even listening to me,” I said, following.

“No, I’m not,” she said storming through the restaurant with me on her heels. “I don’t want to hear any of your patented Shark Lady speeches.”

At the valet, I grabbed her arm. “Hey. The only thing that’s between Cory and me now is the shared trauma of the robbery. He saved my life, so I’m helping him, but that’s all. I’m going to live with Drew, I’m going to marry Drew, and my life will return to where it was before. And I’ll tell him I’m renting my bungalow to Cory. I’ll tell him and he’ll understand.”

“Yes, he will.” Lilah yanked her arm away. “Because he’s a good man. Whatever his failings, he’s a good man.” She inhaled deeply, regained some measure of composure.

“I love you, Alex,” she said. “You’re my best friend. But I’ve been through the wringer and now my tolerance for bullshit has evaporated. I can’t do this. I can’t pretend like I’m okay with it, because I’m not. And you and I haven’t been close enough lately for me to entertain all the reasons you think it’s okay. I’m sorry, but I’m just not the right person for you to be talking to about this. Not right now.”

The valet brought her car and she moved to the driver’s side.

“But there is one person who you should be doing a lot of talking to,” she said. “And you know exactly who he is.”

#

“These are quite lovely,” my mother said, letting her manicured and bejeweled fingers trail along the lip of a calla lily. “Elegant. Understated. Beautiful.”

I nodded absently as my mother and I wandered the flower boutique, waiting for Liza, our consultant, to join us for our appointment.

“What’s wrong, darling? You’ve been moping all day.”

“Nothing,” I said. “Lilah and I had a…disagreement.”

“Lilah…Tran? Wasn’t she the unfortunate girl who married and divorced within two months? I didn’t realize you were still close with her.” She clucked her teeth. “A shame. And shameful. Marriage isn’t like shoe shopping, for crying out loud.”

“He cheated on her, Mother,” I said. “It’s not like she up and changed her mind…”

“Well, she certainly didn’t prepare herself, then. Not like you and Drew. Six years together. Many young people these days don’t even stay married for that long. You two are smart to wait. No secrets. No surprises. Now let’s focus on the flowers, dear. These are important decisions that can only be made once. There’s no taking it back, once the order has been placed.”

“Isn’t there?” I looked at my mother. “I can’t change my mind?”

“You could,” she conceded, “but not without a grand amount of chaos and upset. Too much has already been arranged. Your wedding is going to be the lovely, beautiful fairytale we all want it to be.”

I nodded absently. Too much had been arranged. Too many years spent building a life. Too late to tear it all down, too late to send it all back. Too late…

I examined the calla lily. Calla. Like Callie. “You really don’t want grandchildren?”

My mother laughed. “What kind of question is that? And from where?”

“I told you that Drew and I have decided not to have children and Daddy seemed disappointed. But you don’t mind? I’m an only child. I’m your only chance for grandkids.”

“Alexandra, really. Can you see me as a grandmother? Changing diapers and…what? Making mud pies? I wasn’t capable of that when you were a baby. And please don’t thrust the moniker of Grandma on me. I’m too young!”

She laughed lightly and meandered away from the calla lilies. “Peonies. Hmm. I’m ambiguous. On the one hand they look like beautiful silk, but once they start to wilt they look like wrinkled laundry.” My mother stopped. “Are you having second thoughts about children? Is Drew?”

“No, I…I don’t know.”

“I’m just so proud of him. He works so hard and has accomplished so much. I thank God every day you found him so that no matter what unfortunate turns your own career might take you will never know want or insecurity.”

“I have a career of my own, Mother,” I said. “I wouldn’t be destitute without Drew, for God’s sake.”

My mother peered down her nose at me. “You’re not working now, are you?”