Unbreakable (City Lights, #2)(46)

Back home, I found Drew in the kitchen, pondering the fridge’s contents. “Hey,” he said when he saw me. “I’m at a loss. I think takeout—”

I flew at him, silencing his words with a crushing kiss, my hands tearing at his suit jacket, as I pressed my body against his.

Drew broke the kiss, like a man coming up for air after being swamped by a tidal wave. “What…what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” I breathed, tearing off his tie. “Make love to me, Drew. Right here.”

“Alex…we’re in the kitchen.”

“Exactly.” I laughed and kissed him again, harder. “Touch me, Drew.” I took his hand and pressed it between my legs. “I want you…”

“Alex…”

“Or I’ll touch you.” I shrugged out of my own suit jacket and knelt so that I could unzip his pants. “I want you kiss you…”

“Whoa, whoa, wait.” Drew held me by the shoulders. “You know I’m not into…that.”

“Then do it to me, Drew.” I rose and wrapped my arms around his neck to trail kisses along his jaw. “I want to feel your mouth on me,” I whispered hotly. “And then you…inside me…”

“Jesus, Alex!” Drew thrust me away from him. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

I stared at him, breathing heavily, feeling as if I’d been submerged in ice water. “What has…? Nothing, I just—”

“You’re acting like a…a goddamned harlot.”

“A harlot?” I staggered back and clutched the countertop. “I…I’m your fiancée. We’re supposed to be attracted to one another. We’re supposed to want each other.”

“We do. I do. Of course I do. But not like this. I don’t want to just go at it on the kitchen floor like animals.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, as if to keep from shivering. “Fine. Then let’s go upstairs like civilized adults.”

Drew ran a hand through his hair. “Alex, I have an hour for lunch then I have to get back. Tonight, maybe—”

“No! I don’t want to wait. I feel…alive. I survived a horrifying experience and I want to celebrate that. With you.” I moved closer to him, ran my hands up his chest, not willing to give up yet. “Don’t you want me, Drew?

“I’m sorry, Alex, I just don’t feel the same right this moment. I’ve missed a lot of work for your F.B.I. statement—”

“What?”

“It’s not your fault, it just is what it is. And now I want something to eat. Later, we can…If you still want to.”

“You mean if you still want to,” I said, stepping back. “And I can tell you right now you won’t. You never want to.”

“That’s not true,” Drew said.

“Isn’t it? When was the last time we had sex?”

“I don’t…I don’t know. I don’t keep track of such things.”

“No? I do. It was your dad’s birthday. You had too much to drink at his party and then we came home and had sex. Barely. And when is your dad’s birthday, Drew?”

“Jesus, Alex, this is uncouth—”

“It’s in February. It is now August. Should I do the math for you? Honestly, Drew. We didn’t even make love the night you proposed to me.”

Drew paced the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m under a lot of pressure at work. I’m frequently tired…”

“It’s not just that,” I said. “For years, even in college, you were so reticent. And when we did, it was always the same. In the dark, missionary—”

“Jesus, Alex, you really want to talk about this?”

“We have to talk about this! It’s been this way for years. And I thought I was okay with it. I get busy and tired too. But sometimes I’m not tired but I don’t want to behave like some horny frat boy trying to coerce you into something we should be doing at least more than twice a year.”

“I think you’re blowing this out of proportion.”

“No, I think it’s just about right.”

“Alex…”

“We’re going to be married Drew. That’s man and wife. Not brother and sister. You can’t even talk about the honeymoon. Why? Because what do couples do on their honeymoon, Drew?”

“Alex—”

“They f*ck. That’s what they do.”

“Oh for God’s sake.”

“What’s going to happen on our wedding night?”

“What happens on everyone’s wedding night. We’ll…sleep together.”

“God, you can’t even say the word.”

“I love you, Alex,” Drew said helplessly. “I always have and you know that.”

“I know you do,” I said and sighed, the fight going out of me for how distraught he looked. But I couldn’t go on like this. “They’re making me take a leave of absence at work. Because I lost Munro.”

Drew’s eyes widened. “What? How can they do that to you? After all the work you’ve put into that case…”