Unbreak My Heart (Unbreak My Heart #1)(6)

“The baby’s okay?”

“Yeah, they said they were just keeping him under observation.” I rubbed at my forehead, trying to convince myself that it was all just a nightmare. Where was I supposed to be? What was I supposed to do now? My best friend in the entire world was there in that hospital, but not really. I couldn’t bear to see her. I couldn’t help her. Where the f*ck was I supposed to go? “What do I do, Mom?”

“You go see your nephew.”

“What?”

“You go to the NICU, and you hold your nephew, and you tell him everything is going to be okay,” she told me, tears in her voice. “You go love on that baby. Where are Sage and the boys?”

“They’re with a neighbor. They’re okay.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

“Dad found some flights. I’m on my way, princess,” she told me gently. “We’ll be there soon. Now go take care of our new boy.”

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too. I’m on my way.”

I made my way to the NICU as quickly as I could, and within minutes I was holding my new nephew in my arms. The nurses told me that he’d passed all of his tests with flying colors, and I was in awe as I sat down in a rocking chair, cradling him to my chest.

“You sure got a shitty beginning, little man,” I murmured against his fuzzy scalp, rocking back and forth gently. “I’m so sorry, buddy. You’re probably missing your mama and that warm bubble you’ve been in for so long. I can’t help you there.”

I sniffled, closing my eyes as tears rolled down my cheeks. My whole body ached, and even though I had that little boy in my arms, the day seemed like some sort of surreal dream, foggy in some parts and crystal clear in others. I wanted to hop up and take his sleeping little form to Rachel, to tease her about the weird Mohawk thing he was sporting and make joking comments about how men always seem to sleep through the hard parts of life. I wanted to see her smile proudly at the sturdy boy she’d produced and grumble that I was hogging him.

I wanted everything to be different.

I hummed softly with my eyes closed for a long time, holding the baby close to me. It was quiet where we sat, nothing breaking up the stillness of the room until I heard someone open the door.

“There he is,” the nurse murmured from the doorway.

My eyes popped open to see Shane’s ravaged face just feet from me. He looked like he was barely holding on. I swallowed hard as his red-rimmed eyes took in his son carefully before rising to meet mine.

“Is he okay?” he asked thickly, searching my face. I’d never seen him so frightened.

“He’s perfect,” I answered, my voice throbbing with emotion. “The nurses said he’s a rock star.”

He nodded twice, reaching up to cover his mouth with his hand, but before he could say another word, he was stumbling and falling to his knees with an almost inaudible sob.





Chapter 1

Kate



One Year Later

Where are my monsters?” I yelled, rushing in the front door.

The house was quiet as I made my way through the living room carrying an awkwardly large gift bag. I should have just wrapped Gunner’s birthday present, but I hadn’t thought I had the time. I felt like I’d been running late for the past year, and that morning had been no different.

God, I couldn’t believe it had been an entire year since Rachel died. Sometimes it felt like yesterday that I’d gotten that first phone call from Sage’s school. Other times it felt as if I’d always had this hole in my chest where my best friend used to be.

The back door opened just as I reached it, almost smacking me in the face.

“Oh, hey. You’re here,” Shane said distractedly as he ushered Keller inside.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Go to the bathroom, bud,” he ordered, giving Kell a little push before meeting my eyes. “Ellie’s here. I figured you’d take a couple of days off.”

“Since when did hanging out with the kids become my job?” I asked flatly as Keller tapped me on my hip in hello on his way by me.

I hated it when Shane acted like I was the freaking nanny. I wasn’t the nanny. I was family, and the closest thing to a mother that those kids had left.

“You’re here every f*cking day, Kate. I just thought you’d want a day to yourself.”

I clenched my fingers tighter around Gunner’s present, ignoring the way the bag crinkled in protest. “It’s Gunner’s birthday—”

“I know what f*cking day it is,” he interrupted, moving past me to grab a beer out of the fridge.

“What the hell is your deal?”

“No deal.”

“Look,” I began, softening my voice, “I know today is hard—”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

“Shane—”

“You have no f*cking clue. None. Say one more word and I’ll kick your ass out of my house.”

This confrontation had been brewing. I’d felt it almost like an electric current in the air as the anniversary grew closer, but I couldn’t have imagined that he’d start it in the middle of his son’s birthday party.