Unauthorized Affair (Unauthorized #1)(42)
Jen nodded, glad.
“So we should go to the hospital?”
“I think that tonight, we should go to a hotel, tomorrow, maybe a safe house. When Ivy is released she and Ryker can come to us.”
Jen nodded. She didn’t know who she would feel better with. Hunter? or Sara. Maybe both.
“Am I still in danger?”
Hunter nodded, in opposition to his words. “We don’t know Jen. What we all need right now is some sleep, so we can examine the situation clearly.”
“OK, let’s do this interview so everyone can get out of here.”
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
***
Three hours later, Jen finally escaped the police department. She walked out to the parking lot, barely under her own power. Jerry’s arms were around her and he squeezed her hard enough to almost lift her off the ground. Sara and his friends flanked them. They fussed over her. Everyone hugged her. Emma kissed her on the face a dozen times. Hawk chucked her on the arm and told her how brave she’d been. Finally the group broke up, most everyone returning to their separate cars. Jerry, Sara, and Hunter formed a protective knot around Jen. She was too tired to wonder if there was danger even here, in the police department parking lot.
“The downtown Hilton?” Jerry asked. Jen looked up, then realized he was addressing Hunter.
He shook his head. “Not enough exits. I say we stick with the BayView, and ask for something on the second floor, with adjoining rooms.”
Jerry nodded and released Jen to Hunter with a final kiss. Hunter bundled her into his truck. Her legs felt leaden. Her eyelids drooped. But her brain seared with molten thoughts that threatened to keep her awake for weeks. Or years. Jen retreated in on herself, each thought burning her more.
At the hotel, Jen slumped in the seat, not wanting to get out of the truck for check-in. Wall. Brains. Blood. She couldn’t unsee it. Somehow she ended up in the hotel room. “We’ll be right over here, Jen. You can sleep in our room if you want, or come get me if you need me,” Jerry told her from the adjoining doorway. Jen nodded, not really hearing him.
Hunter double-checked the locks on the door, then pushed some sort of a wedge under the crack in the door. “That’s an alarm. We’ll hear it if someone tries to get in.”
He climbed on the bed farthest away from Jen, fully clothed, and on top of the covers. Jen shut her eyes, waiting for him to fall asleep so she could be alone.
An eternity later, she opened her eyes, sure he would be asleep. He was staring at her, his eyes boring into her.
“You feeling guilty?” he said.
Jen was startled into a nod. Brains and blood, blood and brains separated him from her.
“Are you watching it happen in your mind?”
Again she nodded. The brains and blood fell away just a little bit.
“Did you ever kill anyone?” she asked him, her voice small and afraid.
“Yes. Six years ago. I still think about it. I still see it.”
The images fell away for the first time all night, but a feeling of horror replaced them. “Six years of this. I’ll die.”
He shook his head. “You won’t. You did a damned fine thing tonight, Jen. But even though you did the right thing, even though you had no choice, even though you saved someone’s life, the taking of life will still haunt you for a while. But not forever. There’s ways to cope with it. I can help you. The department shrink can help you.”
She shook her head. “I’m going to quit in the morning. I’m not cut out to be a cop.”
Hunter sat up and swung his feet to the ground in an instant. Within three seconds he was at her side on the couch. He took her hands. “You are cut out to be a cop. You should be feeling this way. Anyone who kills someone should feel this way. If they don’t they are dead inside. But it won’t always feel this bad. This raw. You need some sleep. You need to see the sunshine. You need to talk to Ivy and hear her thank you. Things will look better, will feel better tomorrow. I promise you that.”
Jen tried to believe him. She opened herself to his words and tried to shove them into her soul. Tomorrow seemed so far away. Sunshine felt like a lie. But she did feel some of the crushing weight on her heart roll off. “Can you keep saying things like that, Hunter? It’s helping me.”
She scooched closer to him as he talked and dropped her head to his chest. His warm and broad chest. She could feel the vibrations from his words coming through his muscles to her cheek. He felt alive, soothing. Little by little her throat loosened. Her breath came deeper. And the tears finally spilled. His words didn’t matter anymore, but she swam in them anyway. He put his hand in her hair and rocked her as she cried. Quiet tears. Sobs muffled by his chest. Finally they dried up.
Jen pulled back a little, her face wet. His shirt was soaked with her tears. He handed her a tissue and she wiped her face, then tried to dry his shirt. “Sorry,” she said, and looked up at him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, his full lips tilting into a tiny smile that was all for her.
Jen’s brain felt cleansed out and done with thinking. So she didn’t think. She leaned forward and pressed her lips on his, closing her eyes to better feel the wonderful tingles that spread throughout her body as her skin glided over his.
Hunter stiffened, but didn’t pull away. And then he kissed her back. He pulled her to him by her upper arms and she eagerly climbed onto his lap, straddling him. Fire, a new fire, a hot, cleansing fire shot down her spine. She felt she couldn't get enough of him. She wound her fingers in his dark hair and smashed her mouth onto his, lust driving out every horrible thought she’d had in the last six hours.