Ugly Love: A Novel(57)

We’ve got this.

Lisa can’t even look at me.

They both hate me.

“This started before I even met you, Lisa. I met her before I knew you were with my father, and we tried to stop it.”

That’s kind of a lie.

My father steps forward. “The entire time? This has been going on the entire time she’s lived here?”

I shake my head. “It’s been going on since before she lived here.”

He hates me even more now. He wants to hit me again, but Lisa is pulling him back. She tells him they’ll figure it out. She tells him she can get it “taken care of.” She tells him it’ll be okay.

“It’s too late for that,” I tell Lisa. “She’s too far along.”

I don’t wait for my father to hit me again. I rush down the hallway and go to Rachel. I lock the door behind me.

She meets me halfway. She throws her arms around my neck and cries into my shirt.

“Well,” I say. “The hard part is over with.”

She laughs with her cry. She tells me the hard part isn’t over yet. She tells me the hard part is getting him out.

I laugh.

I love you so much, Rachel.

“I love you so much, Miles,” she whispers.





chapter twenty-three


TATE


I miss you so much, Miles.

Thoughts like that are why I’m drowning my sorrows in chocolate. It’s been three weeks since he brought me home. It’s been three weeks since I’ve laid eyes on him. Christmas came and went, but I barely noticed because I worked through it. Two Thursday game nights that Miles didn’t show up to. New Year’s came and went. Another semester of school began.

And Tate still misses Miles.

I take my chocolate chips and my chocolate milk and walk to the kitchen to hide them from the person knocking at the apartment door.

I already know it’s not Miles, because the knock at my door belongs to Chad and Tarryn. They’re the only friends I’ve made here, as busy as I am, and they’re only my friends because we’re in study group together.

Which is why they’re knocking on my door right now.

I open it, and Chad is standing in the doorway sans Tarryn.

“Where’s Tarryn?”

“She got called in to cover a shift,” he says. “She can’t make it tonight.”

I hold the door open further to let him in. As soon as he steps over the threshold, Miles opens his apartment door across the hall. He freezes when our eyes meet.

He holds me captive with his stare for several seconds until his gaze slides over my shoulder and lands on Chad.

I glance at Chad, who looks at me and arches an eyebrow. He can apparently tell something’s up, so he respectfully retreats into my apartment. “I’ll be in your room, Tate,” he says.

That’s nice of Chad . . . offering to give me privacy with the guy across the hall. However, announcing that he’ll be waiting in my bedroom probably wasn’t the respect Miles wanted to be shown, because now he’s stepping back inside his apartment.

His eyes drop to the floor right before he closes his door.

The look on his face sends pangs of guilt straight to my stomach. I have to remind myself that this was his choice. I have nothing to feel guilty about, even if he is misjudging the situation he just opened his door to.

I close the front door and join Chad in my room. The silent pep talk I tried to give myself did nothing to ease the guilt. I sit on the bed, and he sits at the desk. “That was weird,” he says, eyeing me. “I’m a little scared to leave your apartment now.”

I shake my head. “Don’t worry about Miles. He has issues, but they aren’t my issues anymore.”

Chad nods and doesn’t question me any further. He opens the study guide and lays it across his lap as he props his feet up on the bed.

“Tarryn already made notes for chapter two, so if you get three, I’ll cover four.”

“Deal,” I say. I scoot back against my pillow and spend the next hour preparing notes for chapter three, but I have no idea how I manage to concentrate, because the only thing I can think about is the look that crossed Miles’s face right before he closed the door. I could tell I hurt him.

That makes us even now, I guess.

???

After Chad and I exchange notes and answer the study questions at the end of every chapter, I make copies on my printer. I realize three people divvying up three chapters and sharing answers is cheating, but who the hell cares? I never claimed to be perfect.

Once we’re finished, I walk Chad back out. I can tell he’s a little bit nervous after having seen the look on Miles’s face earlier, so I wait for him to get on the elevator before I close the apartment door. To be honest, I was a little nervous for him, too.

I walk to the kitchen and begin making a plate of leftovers. There’s no point in cooking, since Corbin won’t be home until late tonight. Before I’m finished adding food to my plate, the front door opens with a knock.

Miles is the only one who opens the door and knocks at the same time.

Calm down.

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

Calm the hell down, Tate!

“Who was that?” Miles asks from behind me.

I don’t even turn around. I continue making my plate of food as if his being here after weeks of silence isn’t filling me with a storm of emotions. Anger being the most prominent one.