Ugly Love(82)

I had gone so long refusing to allow myself to feel anything for anyone.
Not that I could have controlled the feelings I was experiencing toward Tate that day. I couldn’t control them if I’d wanted to.
I know, because I tried.
I tried like hell.
But the second she opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew. She was either going to be the death of me . . . or she was going to be the one who finally brought me back to life.
The only problem I had with that was the fact that I didn’t want to be brought back to life. I was comfortable. Protecting myself from the possibility of experiencing what I had experienced in the past was my only priority. However, there were so many moments when I forgot what my only priority was supposed to be.
When I finally caved and kissed her, that was the point at which everything changed. I wanted so much more after experiencing that kiss with her. I wanted her mouth and her body and her mind, and the only reason I stopped was that I felt myself also wanting her heart. I was good at lying to myself, though. Convincing myself that I was strong enough to have her physically and no other way. I didn’t want to get hurt again, and I sure as hell didn’t want to hurt her.
I did anyway, though. I hurt her so much. More than once. Now I plan to spend a lifetime making it up to her.
I walk to my bed and sit on the edge of it. She feels the bed shift, and she opens her eyes but not all the way. A hint of a smile plays on her lips before she pulls the covers over her head and rolls over.
We officially began dating six months ago, and that’s been plenty long enough for me to realize she’s not at all a morning person. I lean forward and kiss the area of blanket covering up her ear.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” I whisper.
She groans, so I lift the covers up and slide in behind her, wrapping myself around her. Her groan eventually turns into a soft moan.
“Tate, you need to get up. We have a plane to catch.”
That gets her attention.
She rolls over cautiously and pulls the covers from over our heads. “What the hell do you mean we have a plane to catch?”
I’m grinning, trying to contain my anticipation. “Get up, get dressed, let’s go.”
She’s eyeing me suspiciously, which makes total sense, considering it’s not even five o’clock in the morning yet. “I know you know how rare it is for me to have an entire day off, so this better be worth it.”
I laugh and give her a quick kiss. “That all depends on our ability to be punctual.” I stand up and pat the mattress several times with the palms of my hands. “So get up, get up, get up.”
She laughs and throws the covers off of her completely. She scoots to the edge of the bed, and I help her stand up. “It’s hard to stay irritated with you when you’re this giddy, Miles.”
? ? ?

We reach the lobby, and Cap is waiting at the elevator just as I asked him to. He has her juice in a to-go cup and our breakfast. I love the relationship they have. I was a little worried to reveal to Tate that I had known Cap all my life. When I finally told her, she was irritated with both of us. Mostly because she assumed Cap was telling me everything she confessed to him.
I assured her Cap wouldn’t do that.
I know he wouldn’t, because Cap is one of the few people in this world I trust.
He knew just the right things to say to me without appearing as though he were lecturing me or giving me advice. He’d always say just enough to make me think long and hard about my situation with Tate. Luckily, he’s one of the few people who grow wiser with age. He knew what he was doing with both of us all along.
“Morning, Tate,” he says to her, grinning from ear to ear. He holds out his arm for her to take, and she looks back and forth between us.
“What’s going on?” she asks Cap as he begins to walk her toward the lobby exit.
He smiles. “The boy is about to take me on my first-ever ride in an airplane. I wanted you to come along, too.”
She tells him she doesn’t believe this is his first time in an airplane.
“It’s true,” he says. “Just ’cause I have the moniker don’t mean I’ve ever been on a real plane.”
The look of appreciation she shoots me over her shoulder is enough to declare this day one of my favorites, and it’s not even daylight yet.
? ? ?

“You okay back there, Cap?” I say into the headset. He’s seated right behind Tate, staring out his window. He gives me a thumbs-up but doesn’t take his eyes off the window. The sun hasn’t even broken through the clouds yet, and there’s not very much to see at this point. We’ve only been in the plane ten minutes, but I’m pretty sure he’s just as fascinated and mesmerized as I hoped he would be.
I return my attention to the controls until I reach optimal altitude, and then I mute Cap’s headset. I glance at Tate, and she’s staring at me, watching me with an appreciative smile spread across her lips.
“Want to know why we’re here?” I ask her.
She glances over her shoulder at Cap and then looks back at me. “Because he’s never done this before.”
I shake my head, timing it just right. “Remember the day we were driving back from your parents’ house after Thanksgiving?”
She nods, but her eyes are curious now.
“You asked what it was like to experience the sunrise from up here. It’s not something that can be described, Tate.” I point out her window. “You just have to experience it for yourself.”
She immediately turns and looks out her window. Her palms press against the glass, and for five minutes straight, she doesn’t move a muscle. She watches it the entire time, and I don’t know how, but I fall even more in love with her in this moment.