Tyrant(58)

Why the f*ck would my nipples…

I sprinted over to the desk calendar and spent an embarrassing amount of time doing the math, but with my hands shaking and my head spinning, even the simplest of calculations didn’t compute.

I pushed the calculator away and pulled out a piece of paper. Maybe a word problem would help make it clearer.

Throwing up frequently

+

No period this month, or maybe even last month +

Cheese grater nipples

+

Sex with King in the water by the boathouse +

No protection of any kind =

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.





Chapter Twenty-Three




Doe


I found Tanner sitting on the roof of the houseboat. “You know, I’m beginning to think it was you who made the senator keep this rust bucket,” I said. “You’re always out here.”

Tanner turned around. There was an obvious sadness in his eyes, but there was something else too. Something I couldn’t quite pin point. “Sammy wanted to come see you, but by the time he got here he was tired so Nadine offered to put him down for a nap. I figured you’d make your way out here sooner or later.” Tanner sighed. “This place is probably my favorite place in the world, you know. The three of us spent all of our time out here when we were kids.”

The only thing I could do for him was listen because over the past few months he’d done his share of listening to me.

“I want to apologize, about the party. It wasn’t right. I wasn’t right.” He set his hands on top of his head and blew out a breath. “I shouldn’t have gone along with the senator and his speech, especially when I knew your heart wasn’t in it.” He looked up to the sky and closed his eyes as if he were gathering his thoughts. He turned back to where I stood on the dock. “I just wanted it to be true. I got carried away. I’m sorry, Ray.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I feel like we’re always apologizing to one another,” I said.

“Probably because we are.” He hopped down from the roof onto the dock. He stood in front of me with his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “I know why you’re here.”

“You do?”

“You’re leaving,” Tanner said shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Yeah, I am,” I answered. “It’s never felt right for me here and the more I remember, the more I know the right decision is for me to go.”

“He’s alive. You’re going back to him,” Tanner said. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

“How did you know?” I asked.

“I saw him last night.”

I bit my lower lip. “Yes, I’m going back to him.”

Tanner shook his head and rested his forehead on his palm. “I guess this changes everything.”

“If I’ve learned anything over the last six months, it’s that family can mean so many different things. Just because we aren’t together, doesn’t mean we can’t be a family, Tanner. Family is what you make it, what you want it to be.”

“That’s not true, because I want it to be you,” he said, reaching out for my hand and lifting it in his as if he were studying it. As if he wanted to look anywhere but in my eyes.

“It can be me. I’ll still be in your life. Just not the way you’re thinking I should be,” I reminded him.

“Can I assume that he’s coming to pick you two up?” Tanner asked. “Unless you’ve magically learned how to drive recently.”

“You should have told me that earlier. I tried to drive my mother’s car and only got the engine turned on before I realized that’s about all I knew how to do.” I looked at him quizzically. “You’re taking this awfully well, Tanner.”

He pulled me in for a hug and rested his chin on the top of my head, pressing my face into his chest. “I love you, Ray,” he said. Tears welled in my eyes. Tanner had been a good friend and I really was going to miss him, but I was ready to stop missing King.

“Here,” I said. Pulling his ring off of my finger I pushed it into his hand and closed his fingers around it.

“Fuck,” Tanner said, his eyes glassy. “That kind of makes this all real then, huh? You really are leaving?”

“I guess it does,” I said.

Tanner opened his fingers and studied the ring before putting it in his pocket. “Can I ask you a favor? One last thing before you go?”