Twisted Love (Twisted, #1)(87)

“Fair enough.” Jack chuckled. “See ya tomorrow then.”

“See you.” I waved goodbye and rummaged through my bag for my headphones while walking down the steps. That was the downside of carrying a large bag—it was impossible to find anything smaller than a full-sized laptop.

My fingers closed around the thin white wires right when I felt a prickle of heat on my neck. An electric awareness I hadn’t felt in months.

No.

I was afraid to look up, but my curiosity got the better of me. My pulse quickened as I lifted my eyes slowly. Higher…higher…and there he was, standing less than three feet away in a black shirt and pants, looking like a god descended from the heavens to wreak havoc on my still-fragile heart.

I swore the poor thing stopped beating.

I hadn’t seen him in person since Philadelphia, and the sight was too much. Too vivid, too overwhelming, too beautiful and horrifying. Those eyes, that face, the way I instinctively stepped toward him before I caught myself…

Oxygen grew scarce. My chest tightened the way it used to when I was near water. I could feel a panic attack coming on, and I needed to leave before I collapsed right there on the sidewalk, but my feet wouldn’t move.

This is a hallucination. It has to be.

That was the only explanation that made sense. Why else would Alex show up in London in front of my fellowship headquarters after half a year of silence?

I squeezed my eyes shut, counted to ten, and opened them again.

He was still here. In London. In front of me.

The panic intensified.

“Hi,” he said softly.

I flinched at the sound of his voice. If looking at him was a punch in the gut, hearing him was like getting steamrolled by a Mack truck.

“You can’t be here.” It was a stupid thing to say since we were on a public sidewalk and it wasn’t like I could ban him from the city of London, but oh, how I wished I could. I was already drowning in him, and it’d been less than five minutes. “Why are you here?”

Alex stuffed his hands in his pockets, his throat flexing with a hard swallow. His eyes flickered with uncertainty as they searched my face for something I wasn’t ready to give. In all the years I’d known him, I’d never seen him look so nervous. “I’m here for you.”

“You don’t need me anymore.” I almost couldn’t hear myself over the thunderous roar of my pulse. I regretted the falafel sandwich I ate for lunch, which threatened to make a messy reappearance. “You got your revenge, and I’m not interested in whatever new game you’re playing. So leave. Me. Alone.”

Pain slashed across his face. “This isn’t a game, I promise. This is just me, asking you for…not forgiveness, not right now. But hope that one day, you won’t hate me and we might get a second chance.” He swallowed hard. “I’ll always need you, Sunshine.”

Sunshine. The word tore at me, ripped off the scabs on my wounds until I bled once again.

Stop calling me Sunshine.

Why?

Because it’s not my name.

I’m aware. It’s a nickname.

“Your promises mean nothing to me.” I wrapped my arms around myself, chilled to the bone even though the sun shone high in the sky. “Even if they did, they’re six months too late.”

I’d lived less than a half-hour’s drive from Alex all those months, and he never once reached out. Now, he showed up in another country asking for a second chance? Unbelievable.

Almost as unbelievable as the small, shameful part of me that wanted to give him that second chance.

Stay strong. I’d survived multiple murder attempts. I conquered my aquaphobia. I could talk to the man who broke my heart without falling apart.

Hopefully.

“I know.” Alex exhaled a shaky breath, his brows drawn tight over his eyes. He looked less polished than usual, with his rumpled hair and faint purple smudges beneath his eyes. I wondered if he’d been getting enough sleep, then mentally kicked myself for caring. His sleeping habits weren’t my business anymore. “I thought I was protecting you. That you were better off without me. After what happened with my uncle, I couldn’t risk you getting hurt again because of your association with me. But I never left you alone. I had someone keeping an eye on you—”

“Wait.” I held up one hand. “You had me followed?”

“For your protection.”

I couldn’t believe it. “How is that okay? That’s—that’s crazy! How long…oh my God.” My eyes widened. “Do you have someone following me in London, too?”

He stared at me, his face stony.

“Unreal,” I breathed. “You are truly psycho. Where is he?” I looked around frantically. I didn’t see anyone suspect, but the most dangerous people were those who looked anything but. “Call him off. Right now.”

“I already did.”

I narrowed my eyes. That was too easy. “You did?”

“Yes, because I’m taking over his duties. That’s why it took me so long. I had to make…arrangements for my absence in D.C.” Alex’s mouth twitched at my stunned expression. “You’ll be seeing a lot more of me from now on.”

“The hell I will.” The thought of seeing him every day sent me into a tailspin of panic. “I’ll file a restraining order against you. Have you arrested for stalking.”