Turning Point(58)

“I did,” she said with a sigh. “I spent the night with him. I wanted to see him one more time. Being away for a month gave me some perspective. I was like a doll he took out of the closet to play with once a week, and then put back and went home to his wife. I don’t think he knows who I am or cares. When he left, he said, ‘See you next Wednesday’ and I said, ‘No.’ I was done. He looked like he was in shock. I haven’t heard from him since. Nothing. No begging, no texts, no calls. Maybe he was done too,” or he just didn’t love her. It seemed plausible to her now.

    Stephanie was impressed that she’d done it. She didn’t think Wendy would. “Do you miss him?”

“Less than I thought. I’m lonely, but I gave up a lot. I stopped seeing friends, or doing anything. I was always sitting around, hoping he’d show up. I need to get out and see people now. The French crew will do me good. And at least I don’t feel like I’ve sold out, waiting for a guy who doesn’t really love me and is never going to leave his wife.” It scared Stephanie to listen to her. What if Gabriel did that to her after she left Andy, gave up her job, and moved to France? She’d be trapped. But at least she knew he loved her, for now anyway. She remembered Valérie and Marie-Laure’s warnings, and even Wendy’s, that French men don’t get divorced, or not often, and according to Wendy, most Americans didn’t leave their wives for their girlfriends either. They needed both women to make their marriage work, which was not how she felt about Andy and Gabriel. Having two men in her life and her head was driving her insane. She felt pulled in ten thousand directions, or two, which was worse.

“Let me know if you come to the city, and we’ll have dinner,” Stephanie said, missing her.

“I want to have everyone to my house for a barbecue the first weekend they’re here,” Wendy said, and Stephanie liked the idea. “Will you bring your husband?”

“No, he won’t want to anyway. He’s hostile about my work and everything related to it. He can stay with the kids. And that’s too close for comfort, to have both of them there.” It sounded stressful to Wendy too.

    “I can’t believe I’m free after six years,” Wendy said, sounding a little dazed. Listening to her gave Stephanie the courage to do what she needed to. She dreaded telling Andy it was over. It was going to be a hard day, for him and their boys. And it would be even worse when she told him she was moving to France. She knew she had to see a lawyer, but wasn’t ready to face it yet. That would make it all very real. “Well, I’ll see you in a week,” Wendy said. “Let’s do a girls’ night out with Valérie and Marie-Laure. That would be fun.”

“We’ll do it.” Stephanie felt better after she hung up, it was a relief to talk to someone she could be honest with. She lied to Andy all the time now. Just being there with him was a lie. She was glad he hadn’t tried to make love to her since she’d been back. She couldn’t do it. They hadn’t for a month before she left. It had been more than two months now. It was hard to understand how she could feel so distant and turned off by someone she had once loved so much, but it had been a while. Looking back, they had been drifting apart for two years, as his resentment of her grew.



* * *



—

Two days after Stephanie talked to Wendy, an invitation from the mayor’s office came in the mail. It was for a reception for both the French and the American teams, given by the mayor and the San Francisco Department of Emergency Management, to honor all eight members of the joint commission. Their names were listed alphabetically, and Stephanie’s was right above Gabriel’s. The reception was to be held in the rotunda of City Hall. She stood staring at it, wondering what to do about Andy. He never wanted to do anything associated with her work, and he had been furious about her trip to Paris. It was easier not to tell him, so she was going to put the invitation away where he wouldn’t see it, and that way she could go with Gabriel. She didn’t want to be in one room with both men. Andy might instinctively sense something if he saw him. He was uncannily perceptive sometimes. It was a stress she didn’t need, and she was about to put the invitation in her pocket when Andy walked in before she could. The invitation was white with a gold band around it, and crossed French and American flags at the top. It was very handsome, and caught his eye before she could hide it.

    “What’s that?” His antennae were up, as though he had radar, and she was annoyed that he’d seen it, although he didn’t know what it was.

“Just an invitation, while the French crew is here. You’d hate it.” He snatched it from her hand before she could stop him, and he looked at it, and then at her.

“They’re honoring you, Steph. You weren’t going to invite me?” He looked crushed and her heart was pounding. Being there with either man, if the other was there, would be a nightmare, and she had no idea how to handle it, and didn’t want to.

“I didn’t think you’d want to go. It’s no big deal.”

“Yes, it is. Of course I want to go.” It was in the first few days they would be in town. If Andy figured it out then, it would make being with Gabriel even more difficult.

“Then we’ll go,” she said simply. There was nothing else she could say. She took the invitation, and put it in her pocket, hoping he’d forget.