Tumble (Dogwood Lane #1)(8)

“Just a girl from your past, huh? So if I tell you Brandon Atwood has a date with her tonight, you’re cool with that?”

“He fucking what?” I bark, not giving a damn that my cheeks are blazing. “How do you know that?”

“I don’t. It was a litmus test.”

Shoulders slumping, a breath rushing from my lungs, I glare at him and try not to laugh. “You’re a cocksucker.”

“And you’re a liar. What’s worse?”

“Does the cocksucker charge for sucking cock?” Matt slides up to the truck and looks at each of us. “If so, that’s worse. If not, I’ll go with the liar.” When we fail to respond, he grins. “This is going to be good, isn’t it?”

“What?” I ask.

“Whatever the two of you are arguing about.”

“We aren’t arguing,” Penn tells him. “I was making a point he didn’t want me to make.”

Matt pulls his brows together. “You made a point? Okay. This I gotta hear.”

“I don’t even have to make it,” Penn says. “Let Dane tell you, and then you’ll see my point. That’s the magic of all this.”

“Will you shut the hell up?” I ask. “Why do you have to make such a big deal about everything?”

“Uh, because this is a big deal.”

Matt’s head goes back and forth like he’s watching a volleyball match. “Is someone gonna tell me or what?”

“Fine.” I look at my brother, ignoring the shit-eating grin on Penn’s face. “Neely is home.”

His eyes grow wide. “No kidding?”

“No kidding.”

“When did this happen?”

“I don’t know. Saw her this morning at the café.” My voice is calm as her face streams through my mind. “Yes, she was hot, if that’s the first thing you wanted to know like dumbass over here.”

“You said beautiful.” Penn holds his hands to his sides. “What? You said it. I didn’t.”

“She was always beautiful,” Matt admits. “That’s nothing new.”

“Yeah, but you should see her now. Fucking hell, Matt.”

Their raised brows let me know they’re curious where I’m going with this.

Answer: nowhere.

I open the cab of the truck and pretend to search for something just to stop the banter. Just to get a second to myself.

The vein in my temple begins to pulse along with the heartbeat in my thumb. My skin itches as if it can’t keep all my emotions contained. I can’t focus on one thing, one part of this thing, long enough to make sense of it without jumping to the next. I shouldn’t give a shit. She’s here for a few days. She said so herself. Even if she were here indefinitely, it doesn’t mean she would give me the time of day or that I should even want her to. Or that I could actually do it.

I broke her heart. I broke her heart in the worst way I could, and the fact she didn’t tell me to fuck right off is more than I really deserve. It’s more than I would’ve given me.

A box of screws falls from the passenger’s seat onto the floorboard. Penn’s voice calls from the other side of the truck, giving me shit about my state of mind. I flip him the bird before going back to rustling through the middle console.

I can’t make things not have happened. I can’t undo actions taken years ago.

My hand stills over a packet of spearmint gum. Eyes resting on the little tree-shaped air freshener, I sigh.

I wouldn’t undo them. Even if I could. Even if it would have saved her the heartbreak.

My shoulders slump as I back out of the cab.

“All that for some gum?” Penn asks, looking at the packet in my hand.

I deliberately open a stick and shove it in my mouth. “Want one?”

“Just in case you poisoned it, I’m good.” He stretches his arms overhead. “So can we call off today and go see Neely?”

“No. Both of you go back to work.” The gum crackles as I put way too much effort into chewing. “Now.”

“You wanting to go alone?” Matt cracks.

“Why do I like either one of you again?” I look from one to the other.

“Because I’m your brother and saved you from drowning when you were ten. And we keep Penn around . . .” Matt looks at our best friend and shrugs. “Why do we keep you around?”

“I’m assuming so you can get pussy. So many come at me I can’t possibly handle them all.”

“How does that shit taste comin’ outta your mouth?” Matt asks.

I watch the two of them spar back and forth. Despite the near-constant jabbing between each other, Penn’s refusal to ever show up on time, and Matt’s perpetual state of looking for something he’s lost, they’re the two I can count on.

As I realize they have stopped bantering and are both looking at me, I frown. I can’t do this all day. “I’m going for lumber,” I tell them.

“Is that what we’re calling her now?” Penn tries to bite back a laugh and fails. Matt joins in, and their entertainment at my expense grates my nerves.

“If you need anything,” I say, ignoring them, “you have about two minutes to tell me.”