Toxic (Ruin, #2)(70)

“I already am.” I choked back the tears. “I love you too.”
The room fell silent, only our ragged breathing kept me aware that time was passing. That it wasn’t a dream.
“Come on.” Gabe got up and held out his hand. “It’s a new day.”
I smiled and gripped his hand with mine. “It’s a new beginning.”
“That…” Gabe smiled and kissed my head. “It is.”



Chapter Fifty-One
Death and love are the only two things that exist in this world that are strong enough to alter the course of your life, of your destiny. They either propel you or paralyze you. In the end, the choice is always yours. —Wes M.
Gabe
The funeral was over with before I even realized it started. I got up to say a few words and almost cracked. Then Saylor smiled.
And I was able to finish the eulogy.
I sang her song.
It was bittersweet. When I’d written her that song it had been during a time in my life when things were still so innocent. When she was still Kimmy to me, when I thought I would spend the rest of my existence in her arms.
If there was anything I learned in this situation it was that we weren’t promised anything. All we had was moments strung together. Each one is over in a blink of an eye. I’d understood this to an extent when Wes went through his surgery. God, I’d been so bitter about that. So angry because it hit so close to home. Because I’d known I was doing a crappy job of pushing away my demons.
But now? Now I just wanted to do right.
And doing right started with Saylor.
“Hey,” Saylor walked up and gave me a hug. We walked hand in hand out of the church. Oddly enough reporters had respected my wishes and laid off a bit. There were still cameras but the buzz felt different, as if they were mourning right along with me.
“You wanna go somewhere with me?” I asked.
Saylor shrugged. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, feeling the corners of my mouth turn up in a smile. “I really am.”
“‘Kay.” She squeezed my hand.
We said our goodbyes to Lisa, Wes, and Kiersten, and drove in silence down I5.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“It’s a surprise.” I laughed. I actually laughed. Damn, it felt good. My hands were sweaty as I gripped the steering wheel and drove into downtown.
It was crowded for a Wednesday afternoon.
Saylor was silent as I parked as close to Pike Place Market as I could.
“Come on.” I laughed again and slammed the door. A smile formed at her lips as she grabbed my hand and giggled a bit.
My heart hammered in my chest as we ran down the streets. What started as brisk walking turned into a full out run. I had no idea why. It just felt — necessary.
Once we reached the bottom of the hill right in front of Pike’s Market. I held up my hand and went over to the spot.
“Fish.” I pointed to the sign. “Our first date was fish.”
Saylor burst out laughing. “So are you saying every date from here on out is going to involve fish?”
“Only the important ones.” I winked and went up to the guys working the seafood for the morning. “I need salmon, a big-assed salmon.”
The guy nodded. “Alright, you ready for it?”
“Oh…” I held up my hands. “I’m not catching it. She is.” I pointed to Saylor.
She gaped. “What if I drop dinner?” She held up her hands.
“Chill, Nemo’s not alive.” I winked. “Better get ready, Saylor, becauase they throw hard.”
The guys started counting. “One—”
“Ahhh!” Saylor clapped her hands and gave me a panicked look.
“Two!” I joined in.
“Oh, my gosh!”
“Three!” The man threw the fish.
Screaming, Saylor closed her eyes but still managed to catch the giant fish.
Cheers erupted from the crowd as Saylor lifted the fish in triumph. “I did it!”
“I knew you could.” I kissed her temple.
“Are we really eating all this fish?”
“Maybe not all of it.” I shrugged and offered a wink. “Unless you’ve suddenly developed the appetite of an NFL lineman.”
“Hey!” Saylor nudged me with her body. “You said you’d love me regardless…”
“Truth.” I nodded and pointed at her. “That’s the truth.”
“So the fish?” She lifted it in the air.
“Oh no, you can keep it.” I patted her head in teasing. “We’re going to cook it tonight, and I’m going to make good on my promise to strike out the very last tear.”
“How do you expect to do that?” Saylor’s shoulders lifted. “By feeding me?”
“You’ll see.” I rubbed my hands together. “Now, let me go pay for Nemo before we go back home.”
“Your car’s going to smell!” she called after me.
“So will your hands!” I fired back.
Her eyes narrowed.
By the time I paid for the fish and helped her carry it up the hill and place it in the car, my stomach was already growling for food.
“Hey, you do know how to cook salmon, right?” Saylor asked once we walked into the house that I was hoping, praying, she’d still want me after I said what I was going to say.
“What?” I dropped my keys onto the counter. “You mean, you can’t cook?” I threw my hands up in the air. “How can you even call yourself a woman? What have I gotten myself into! I’m going to starve!”